i had to leave everything behind

Shalini · Post by **Shalini** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 7:51 am

I broke up with him and I left with only the clothes on my back and the car.
we bought everythng together and he wouldn't be anywhere if it wasn't for me. He had nothing to offer me no credit no money nothing. And now i have to start all over again and he's left to reek in the benefits of all that I work so hard to get for both of us. I'm having a really hard time to letting go of that. help!!!

*D* · Post by ***D*** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 8:21 am

hi,
i do not know what you have been though beside what you wrote but it sounds like it was time for you to go.saying that i had to get out of a marriage thathad been doomed from the start.i was married a long time and she did not want me to live there.it was the best thing that ever happened to me. i have since remarried to the most wonderful woman that GOD put on tis earth.we go to church together and pray together and read our bibles. with the ex. if i had tried to do that i would have been called a holy roller. if i cleaned up my act and quit doing the things i used to do i thought it was a good thing.
you worked hard for what you had.i do not know how old you are but its ok to start over.i think that you will be just fine.
did you do the pprogramor doing it now.take care and please let me know how you are doing.know that you will be in our thoughts and prayers and GOD BLESS.
DON
IF I CAN MAKE IT SO CAN YOU.JUST HANG IN THERE AND BELEIVE IN YOURSELF

Shalini · Post by **Shalini** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 8:33 am

Don thank you so much ..your making me cry. Because I do truly believe that there is someone out ther that god put here fo me.

Ex boyfriend: I met him when he was 25 I was 22 and he had nothing he was sleeping in a close at his friends house with no money or food. i fell in love with him and took care of him the whole time..yes It was my fault. He verbally abused me and was extremely shelfish the whole time. he spat in my face, has broken special dear things of mine and left when he was in fact calling me names. So I helped a person in need out for 9 years and now I'm 32 years old and starting all over. I hurts me that he was ruthless and on top of that he went and found someone lese 2 weeks after I left him. yes I'm on the program and I'm on Session 3.

Therese Michele · Post by **Therese Michele** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:13 am

Oh Hon, I'm so glad you left that bum. You're worth so much more than that! I was once with a pr*ck like that and I also had to leave the exact same way and then soon I found the man I married and have 2 wonderful little one with. Is it perfect, no. But was it meant to be? Yep, I think so. Right now you really need some time for just you. TLC to you by you. Take a break from the relationship scene and live your life for a while single and just for you! Do things, go places, see things and be happy. Next thing you know, the person that was meant for you may just pop into your life. It'll happen. Love yourself first and have some fun, you have time. Best wishes!

MyCatsLoveMe · Post by **MyCatsLoveMe** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 11:04 am

Therese Michele and Pecos are so right on! Think about this, "you took care of him", now you need to take care of yourself and you know you can because you "took care of him". These kind of guys are a dime a dozen. Go forward and don't look back!

Originally posted by Therese Michele:
Oh Hon, I'm so glad you left that bum. You're worth so much more than that! I was once with a pr*ck like that and I also had to leave the exact same way and then soon I found the man I married and have 2 wonderful little one with. Is it perfect, no. But was it meant to be? Yep, I think so. Right now you really need some time for just you. TLC to you by you. Take a break from the relationship scene and live your life for a while single and just for you! Do things, go places, see things and be happy. Next thing you know, the person that was meant for you may just pop into your life. It'll happen. Love yourself first and have some fun, you have time. Best wishes!

MyCatsLoveMe · Post by **MyCatsLoveMe** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 11:07 am

It could not have been better stated!

Originally posted by Emma Rose:
Shalini, I can't even begin to imagine the strength and courage it took for you to leave... or how scared you must be of the unknown that lies ahead. Many women in similar circumstances stay. They make all kinds of excuses - kids, money, and my personal favourite, "but I love him" .

I admire you for respecting yourself enough to recognize that you were not put on this earth to be ANYBODY'S physical or emotional punching bag. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, always.

Not to in any way dismiss all the hard work you put into acquiring the things you did, or the sentimental value attached to some, but at the end of the day... they're just things. And things can be replaced... and nobody can ever take away the memories that are precious to you, not even "him". Your physical safety and emotional well-being and self-respect and dignity are worth more than anyTHING.

You built a life for yourself before on your own and you will again, and you'll accumulate other "things"... and they won't be tainted with memories of "him". Now that you're free, and safe, when you're ready, you can find yourself a real man; a man of substance; a man who understands that your love and your body and anything else you give to him are gifts; gifts that are to be appreciated, respected and nurtured... not taken with a sense of entitlement... and certainly not taken for granted, misused, or abused.

Having had the courage to leave with nothing but the clothes on your back AND posting about, is the best thing you could have done for YOU and for at least one other woman who will read this and, because of your courage, make a safe plan for herself to leave the abusive relationship she's in.

Be proud of yourself. If you did THIS, you can do ANYTHING.

pecos · Post by **pecos** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 3:40 am

I replied to this yesterday, but later reread my comment and felt although it was supportive of you, I was really tossing total blame on two men in my history. I am in my early 50's and I have done this all my adult life ... find men who are sensitive deprived, men who live with the capital S in Selfish. Read the personality trait list in your session one workbook again. The reasons you and I do this are in that list. The reasons you and I won't be doing it any more are why we are working this program. You be good to yourself and don't ever let a man's negative attitude toward you become internalized into your opinion of yourself. You are worthwhile. You are worth more than that.

HeatherRDJ · Post by **HeatherRDJ** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:17 am

Good for you. You did the right thing.

Shalini · Post by **Shalini** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 5:00 am

Wow thank you so much for all the support and actually never even saw myself as strong..I kept looking at the negative...The reason ofthe anzxiety was cause of the drastic change and of the unknown. I was going to marry this boy but I have to keep telling myself that I made the right choice. Thank you so much all of you. All the wonderful support brought tears to my eyes.