My Onion

THH · Post by **THH** » Wed Jun 23, 2010 11:18 am

I agree on the action. Its a good one to keep ahold of.

Well yea, if you don't feel the gratitude whats the point. I do I guess. There are people who have things so much worse than I do. And I'm grateful that my choices are what I have a problem with, what I think.
Did not know if you tried that one. Oh well!

Keep on the journey!!!

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Wed Jun 23, 2010 5:14 pm

Its intresting because i went to bed so late and slept in late and I ended up having a very good day. Typically when that would happen I would feel extremely anxious and my old coping habits would kick in and i would be stuck on my comp all day. That would make me feel guilty, angry and even more anxious, bewildered and spacy.

I was also informed today by a collegue of mine that there is a program for RMT license that shiatsu therapists like me can do and it would only be 8-9 months long. That means i could get my treatments covered by insurance and thus it would be easier to build a clientel

Mike

THH · Post by **THH** » Thu Jun 24, 2010 3:03 am

YEA!

Go for it!

Good on your sleep too, now there is something to be thankful for right there! Nothing is better than a feel good day!!!

Sounds like it was a good day all around.

Good for you, Mike!

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Thu Jun 24, 2010 4:33 am

Thank you. On my way home from the gym last night I stopped in a park and just layed down on a bench and just relaxed and I actually enjoyed it. I was doing nothing and wasn't anxious about it.

THH · Post by **THH** » Thu Jun 24, 2010 11:41 am

Good for you! I love the beach. I really like to hear water. It is so calming...

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Thu Jun 24, 2010 1:41 pm

The beach is nice and a good idea to stop by sometime, didn't really think of that but no i didn't mention anything about a beach

Mike

*slimjim · Post by *slimjim » Thu Jun 24, 2010 4:39 pm

I got this exercise a couple adays ago in my DBT class at the clinic I belong to and I thought you'd like to hear the results of it.
The Forgiveness Inventory Exercise.
1.Make a list of those persons you wish to forgive who you find it very hard not to:
Ok here goes....
My Ex wife, Joy
Threasa
The Doctors In Charge of my Sister Anna
Step-Father Pat
2.Spend sometime on your list.
OK here goes....
Joy my Ex didn't realize she was distancing herself from me and that our relationship was dying 'cause she wanted...No needed to be a Robin Hood character out and about saving those who were worse off than us so she could feel better about herself. I was there but I was to depressed to doing anything to stop her from ruining our relationship by buring my head in the sand and telling myself that everything was all right. Which of course it wasn't. So once the doctors diagonsed me with Manic Depression and then told me that unless I change things in my life this condition would be the end of me. So I divorce her and this started my destroying the Co-Dependency relationship I started with my family of origin and continued with her. So with this exercise I realize now that she did my a great service in breaking this habit and getting my life back for the first time in my life.
Threasa
I really didn't like the way she behaved at Hospies when she raised a big stink at the staff there that they should give something leahal to my dying brother her husband so she could collect on the Insurance Money that would be coming her way once he was dead. And yet it has taken me a long time to stop hating her for this because I feel she helped to pound in the nails to his premature coffin when she ran up all their bills the ones he couldn't pay. But in order to free me from this terrible rage that burns deep in my soul I have to let this matter go and know that she will be judged for her actions not by me but by God.
The Doctors In Charge of my Sister Anna
who in my opinion are dragging their feet testing people who could possibly give her a kidney that will save her from my brother's fate. You see everyone in my clan except me have recieved a Kidney Disease that was on my father's side of his genes. So Anna, my little sister is waiting patently to get somebodies kidney. But no matter how loud I scream for them to test me they just keep on testing everybody else. She tells me that they want to make sure they don't make a mistake by testing too quickly. But I'm afraid that by the time they get to me she'll be too weak to survive the operation. She just told my mom that because of her high blood pressure she's either in for a stroke or she's going to go blind soon. And so I have to watch as my sibblings die and I can't do a thing to stop it. But I can stop blaming her doctors because I don't know all the facts I'm not one of them. So I'm letting the anger go.
Step-Father Pat
Who I bitterly hate. I watched how before his death from Lung Cancer he almost bankrupted him and my mom with his Gambling Addiction. Because like me he had a Drunken Master of a father figure who convinced him that he would never amount to anything unless he was RICH! So he spent a huge amount of his retirement on his gambling. But died before he could sell their home and leave her and me homeless.
But you know what I learned a great deal from this man that you can be a somebody who is dirt poor as long as you can learn to be a somebody to yourself. And this is the message I am passing on to all of you in the program. This is what the program taught me. Without it I'd still be knocking myself out to be a Richman to prove to my dead dads and everyone else that I am a somebody. Yes, I am as long as I can look at myself in the mirror and be proud of the person I'm looking at.
What more can you possibly ask for besides that?
Enough said.
Thanx.

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Thu Jun 24, 2010 7:09 pm

DBT sounds really intresting that is like mixing CBT with buddhism if i'm not mistaken.

I read what you typed but I still do not know how anybody could just forgive things like that, especially the doctors. I'm still angry that the doctors let my grandma die because all they did was give her a blood transfusion when she was constantly losing blood from uterine cancer. They gave her that transfusion and sent her home and made an appointment to see a specialist on another day and she died before that. How can you forgive something like that?

THH · Post by **THH** » Fri Jun 25, 2010 3:13 am

Mike, I mis read, you said bench, I thought you said beach!!! LOL... Same idea??? Lol...Blonde moment!

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Fri Jun 25, 2010 3:30 am

Thats ok, i think we all do that at times. At least you can laugh at yourself about it.

Mike