My Onion

[can'tdanceandcan'trelax]

I did not tell them but I will probably tell my son. The yelling bothers him, too so maybe it will help him. Thanks again!

[NinjaFrodo]

Your welcome!


Mike

[cream cheese]

Yes, I have done that in my time to reverse negative thoughts. It is most helpful. It is a full time job if things are coming at you one after another but it is nice to know someone else is doing this. Its really like a Mind game. (rip..John Lennon) Glad its helping others.....creamcheese

[NinjaFrodo]

It really is a full time job and thank you for the reply. It was a reason to come back to the thread and be reminded that its something you do all day long. Thank you.

By the way when i saw your name in my thread...I was thinking of an onion bagel with cream cheese on it.

Mike

[cream cheese]

Ninja.....You have a good sense of humor. Its so vital to let that through when you have depression and anxiety. Its a release I find.
The name creamcheese is actually from one of my cats.....his name is Puff Creamcheese.....he is very fluffy and actually is the color of a light american cheese, not white like creamcheese but the name stuck.....Ya know.....you got me hungry for Bagels and Lox with creamcheese now....Im not Jewish but I had it once...it was good.....thanks.....I am trying to use that humor thingy
...I feel like sleeping all the time its very tough right now but I am coming up for air once in a while..... finally my package came from the Stress Center.....seems like it took weeks. creamcheese

[NinjaFrodo]

thank you. I try. It can be challenging at times but if you can surround yourself with humorus things then it comes alot easier. I have many obsessive thoughts that i've turned into humerous thoughts, you would not believe some of the things I've thought of.

Puff Creamcheese, that is a very unique name indeed.

I have no idea what Lox is. I've never heard of it. What is it?

I'm also having issues with sleeping. Lately i've been sleep 12 hours a day...it's actually gotten better and I sleep 10-11 hours but it gets tough sometimes. But of course i'm also living in a town with a population of less than 200 people so there isn't very much to do.

Ah you just got the program, thats great. I'm sure you will find it very helpful.


Mike

[cream cheese]

Hey Mike, I have found that my sleeping habits are whacked out to.....I am normally a night owl due to the fact that I worked 3-11 pm shifts for 25 years but lately I am up ALL Night and go to bed at 7-8 am!!!! Then when I am in bed I am so so tired I dont want to get out of it!!!
Yes...Puff creamcheese...Puff is my very fluffy cream colored cat...the name as you can see IS HIM. My pets are my salvation and my sanity...they are great company when you are alone. At least when you talk to yourself if anyone hears you they will think you are talking to your pets.!!!lol
HUMOR is so important in life....I always loved to be around friends who made me laugh all the time...it was great...but that was when I was much younger. those days are gone sadly. Most people I meet dont have my sense of humor, it kind of drains you after awhile.
Yes, I did kinda start that program....but I feel a little better....a little, not much.
I see you are from Ontario...so I take there arent many Jewish people living up there....LOX is I think what they called creamcheese with smoked salmon ON a Bagel....hence Bagel and Lox.
I think they liked the Nova Salmon best.
Glad we hooked up......hope the program is workin for you.....I would like to get off the computer and get out and get some air and sunshine...that help the BEST!!! Cheese

[NinjaFrodo]

25 years...ya that could take some time to correct. I wonder if Melatonin would help you out at all...or even trying to reset your sleep schedual by staying up for more than 24 hours and going to sleep at the desired time.

Those people are out there still, you can find them.

There are lots of Jewish people here we have a few centers in toronto actually. I just don't know too many jewish people myself.

I've gotten alot from the program, the 6 years i've been doing it. 6 years on and off and i've made alot of progress. I can face limitations but i still need to impliment the relaxation responses when i do and to do the thought replacement all the time and to let time pass while i work on my anxiety and depression.

fresh air and sunshine help out so much, I like oging on walks to the beach everyday...or at least whenever I can.


Mike

[New_Nana]

Hey Mike,

Thanks for always posting. I've been away for awhile, but I can always count on you to share something relevant. I'm having difficulty accepting my own onion layers. There are just so many of them that I despair of ever getting to the bottom of it. Then I read how long you've been at it and that gives me hope.

The current layer I'm working on shedding is my fear of being left alone. In my head, I know it's childish. I know where it comes from too--childhood. My Mom used to threaten to walk out on us when she got overwhelmed. Since Dad had already moved out, that was terrifying to me. Today, it still triggers the same fear in me, so I know it's a conditioned response. But I'm still sitting here crying because my husband went away with friends for a long weekend. He's getting really frustrated with me over this. He feels like he can't leave me for any amount of time and I don't want to put that pressure on him or anyone else. So I'm working through it, but I'm really anxious with chest pain for the first time in a long time. I've tried to express my feelings about it to him, but we don't get anywhere productive. He understands what I'm going through, but knows he can't help me. He is uncomfortable with my tears and my pain. But I need to get it out. It's been trapped inside for a really long time.

He told me last night that I can't do it alone, which made me kind of angry. I've been doing so well with the program and my confidence that the program principles will work tells me I can do it alone. I just need to figure out what's the real fear is and find a way to neutralize it. I know I need support and he can't give it right now, so that's why I'm back here reaching out. I'm getting really tired of being controlled by my fears. I don't want to keep going around the same vicious circle for another 20 years. I believe this weekend can be a time for me to break through this wall. I have a good feeling about the outcome, but the journey is painful. I just want it to be over.

Nancy

[NinjaFrodo]

Thank you for that reply. I'm suprised that you say it gives you hope to hear how long I've been at it. Sometimes i'm afraid that it might actually do the opposite for people.

Being left alone, I've dealt with that layer too. What you talk about with you and your husband my Grandma and Grandpa were like that too. Grandma was sooo bad she could not be left alone while Grandpa went to the store. It was a huge struggle for them both. Me I just felt lonely and felt like i would never be able to be with friends ever again. I think i got out of that one with the help of anti-depressants and regular visits to the gym (lots of people there).

Well Nancy I'm sure you have the potential to do this on your own. Try to think as if your husband said you "couldn't" do it as opposed to you "can't" because he is right you weren't able to in the past and this is what he is basing his comment on. You could also use that anger to "show him".

If you want some advice, I'd suggest you call at least 1 person over the phone each day this weekend, you watch comedy type shows and movies, use the relaxation tape 3X a day and do some thought replacement on paper. Instead of looking for a positive to replace the negative...replace the irrational with rational.

Things to keep in mind...Emotions are not permenant, they go away. They might come back later but they will still go away. Worst case senarios might be sad but are usually not life threatening. Anything is possible and Distraction is very important!


Mike