Question?
I've have the program for years and have come a long way, BUT never did journaling about my negative thoughts, scary thoughts, etc. . From what I'm reading, I've missed alot of growth because of this. I never thought it was important, I wondered how could this help me in changing the way I think if I'm constantly writing terrible things in a journal? So today I started writing and going back and writing more positive statements. Hope it helps, how long does it take to start turning your thinking around by doing this. also, we're supposed to write every thought. I have alot of thoughts while driving. I can only try to remember what they were when I'm not driving. How does everyone do this, I'm really confused. Please, anyone with positive results from writing things down, let me know. also, how can you write all negative thoughts you have during one day? With as many as I have, I'd have to just sit in one spot so I could write it all down. Suzzie
Most Effective Part of the Program
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Guest
Hey Chief Crazy Horse
You must have had a diffrent name or just didn't respond so much to my posts. I really appreciate your kind words and your quote "You can and will do anything that you set your mind to do" Would definately sound good and would work well at the end of a positive replacement statement. Thank you i'll start using that. Oh and i tend to come and go like the wind sometimes
Mary
Sounds like you really got ahold of it
I know for me that when i write a negative thought down..I feel that i "should" deal with that thought right away but you're right...sometimes it can take several days and thats ok too...good to keep in mind. Also reevaluating the secondary gains is a great way to motivate yourself into continuing the right path for you.
Shimdan
It's good to write negative thoughts down to get them off your chest but if there aren't replacement thoughts then you are only going to be focused on negative thinking which is what people with anxiety and depression do normally so it is very important to replace the thoughts...It's also fun to put humor into the negative thoughts to make them seem even more off the top...If I was Gengis Khan i would order my men to steal all the Plushys from little kids and then i'd have a room to play in full of plushies...but i'd do it in my full army gear...yay sounds fun
Suzzie
Like you i've had the program for years as well...I did journaling only to write down all the specific details of my day as if i was writing a report and I didn't really write about my negative thoughts either until recently. I've come to the realization that the details i put are useless without talking about how you felt. Talking about how you feel is very important as how we feel is what is getting us into trouble and we can also see our growth based on how we felt in the first week compared to how we feel at the end of the 15th week.
When you do write the negative and replace it with a positive...I find the most important part is accepting that you feel that way. Starting off saying...of course i feel this way because...or something like that. How long does it take? Well that depends on how much effort you put into it and how you feel after writing things down. Sometimes it can change it just like that and other times it can take a bit longer...and sometimes you actually get excited about trying...ya i know it seems a little wierd but i just realized that i'm excited about it myself. Be excited that everytime you do it...you are that much closer to being the person you want to be
Nobody can write down every negative thought...i've tried to do that too and i have sat down in one spot for a couple days just writing them down and it definately feels like you're accomplishing alot but it can be a distraction from actually dealing with things too....in a wierd way, but if all you do is write about it and take no action then its no good. I asked Carolyn this very question and she said just pick 5 of the most troublesome thoughts and work on those...eventually you will start to do them automatically....and if you do the tick mark exercise
you can actually motivate yourself enough to do them without writing them down...I'd suggest trying that one a day that you have off work/school and then try when you work/school.
Mike
You must have had a diffrent name or just didn't respond so much to my posts. I really appreciate your kind words and your quote "You can and will do anything that you set your mind to do" Would definately sound good and would work well at the end of a positive replacement statement. Thank you i'll start using that. Oh and i tend to come and go like the wind sometimes
Mary
Sounds like you really got ahold of it
I know for me that when i write a negative thought down..I feel that i "should" deal with that thought right away but you're right...sometimes it can take several days and thats ok too...good to keep in mind. Also reevaluating the secondary gains is a great way to motivate yourself into continuing the right path for you.Shimdan
It's good to write negative thoughts down to get them off your chest but if there aren't replacement thoughts then you are only going to be focused on negative thinking which is what people with anxiety and depression do normally so it is very important to replace the thoughts...It's also fun to put humor into the negative thoughts to make them seem even more off the top...If I was Gengis Khan i would order my men to steal all the Plushys from little kids and then i'd have a room to play in full of plushies...but i'd do it in my full army gear...yay sounds fun
Suzzie
Like you i've had the program for years as well...I did journaling only to write down all the specific details of my day as if i was writing a report and I didn't really write about my negative thoughts either until recently. I've come to the realization that the details i put are useless without talking about how you felt. Talking about how you feel is very important as how we feel is what is getting us into trouble and we can also see our growth based on how we felt in the first week compared to how we feel at the end of the 15th week.
When you do write the negative and replace it with a positive...I find the most important part is accepting that you feel that way. Starting off saying...of course i feel this way because...or something like that. How long does it take? Well that depends on how much effort you put into it and how you feel after writing things down. Sometimes it can change it just like that and other times it can take a bit longer...and sometimes you actually get excited about trying...ya i know it seems a little wierd but i just realized that i'm excited about it myself. Be excited that everytime you do it...you are that much closer to being the person you want to be
Nobody can write down every negative thought...i've tried to do that too and i have sat down in one spot for a couple days just writing them down and it definately feels like you're accomplishing alot but it can be a distraction from actually dealing with things too....in a wierd way, but if all you do is write about it and take no action then its no good. I asked Carolyn this very question and she said just pick 5 of the most troublesome thoughts and work on those...eventually you will start to do them automatically....and if you do the tick mark exercise
you can actually motivate yourself enough to do them without writing them down...I'd suggest trying that one a day that you have off work/school and then try when you work/school.
Mike
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Mello Nello
- Posts: 299
- Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2005 2:00 am
Dear NINJA - you look different than in previous pictures did you recently change them? I like the new pic - more importantly, you put out a really good vibe & come across in the coolest/most positive way. ^^^^5 to you friend.
What part of the activities or suggested homework in the program did I find most effective in making me feel better or reducing my anxiety, stress and depression? I'd say 2 in particular:
1) JOURNALING: while it took practice, journaling taught me to get in-tuned w/ what I am thinking & feeling. Then, gradually, it also enabled me TO FEEL THEM - to not be afraid. A lge part of anxiety is about the FEAR OF - the extreme apprehension of the emotions we have inside, yet fear admitting/acknowledging/face/feel/deal/resolve/ let go - move on. So, we spin our wheels - sitting in an almost infinite idle state of paralisis of negative emotions. Journaling simply taught me to get comfortable to GET IT OUT + to get comfortable w/ my thoughts & emotions(good/bad/indifferent) + in tuned w/ ME = WHO I AM - WHICH THEN LED TO MY #2 REASON.
2) NEG TO POSITIVE SELF TALK. Man NINJA - I did so much of this, if I wasn't sure of my own sanity, I'd thought I was crazy, lol(still debatable, lol)
You see, once I cleared the FOG AWAY(pain & stuff), via journaling in part - I was able to HONE IN on HOW I AM THINKING = the cumulative negative thoughts I was telling myself. I was honestly dumbfounded by it. By 1st comfortable w/ what(via journaling), I was able to use the positive self talk for the HOW - to change the negative thought thinking process I had created - replace them w/ postive + empowering + loving + compassionate things. Sure there were things in my life that may have contributed to my emotions & anxiety/depresson, etc. But heck, when I took a look @ how negatively I was talking to myself every day, through out the day - I realized "no wonder I am filled w/ anxiety + no wonder I am feeling dwn/sad/fearful/hopeless/discouraged - CAUSE I AM TELLING MYSELF THESE THINGS.
There may very well be things in life beyond our control. What the above 2 things taught me & continue to do so are we do control what we think + how we choose to react + consequently, how we feel .
Your friend,
LENORE
What part of the activities or suggested homework in the program did I find most effective in making me feel better or reducing my anxiety, stress and depression? I'd say 2 in particular:
1) JOURNALING: while it took practice, journaling taught me to get in-tuned w/ what I am thinking & feeling. Then, gradually, it also enabled me TO FEEL THEM - to not be afraid. A lge part of anxiety is about the FEAR OF - the extreme apprehension of the emotions we have inside, yet fear admitting/acknowledging/face/feel/deal/resolve/ let go - move on. So, we spin our wheels - sitting in an almost infinite idle state of paralisis of negative emotions. Journaling simply taught me to get comfortable to GET IT OUT + to get comfortable w/ my thoughts & emotions(good/bad/indifferent) + in tuned w/ ME = WHO I AM - WHICH THEN LED TO MY #2 REASON.
2) NEG TO POSITIVE SELF TALK. Man NINJA - I did so much of this, if I wasn't sure of my own sanity, I'd thought I was crazy, lol(still debatable, lol)
You see, once I cleared the FOG AWAY(pain & stuff), via journaling in part - I was able to HONE IN on HOW I AM THINKING = the cumulative negative thoughts I was telling myself. I was honestly dumbfounded by it. By 1st comfortable w/ what(via journaling), I was able to use the positive self talk for the HOW - to change the negative thought thinking process I had created - replace them w/ postive + empowering + loving + compassionate things. Sure there were things in my life that may have contributed to my emotions & anxiety/depresson, etc. But heck, when I took a look @ how negatively I was talking to myself every day, through out the day - I realized "no wonder I am filled w/ anxiety + no wonder I am feeling dwn/sad/fearful/hopeless/discouraged - CAUSE I AM TELLING MYSELF THESE THINGS. There may very well be things in life beyond our control. What the above 2 things taught me & continue to do so are we do control what we think + how we choose to react + consequently, how we feel .
Your friend,
LENORE
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eileenmatt
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:12 pm
shimdan.
I'm all over it
Lenore
Yes i did change my picture, I got myself a mohawk or a faux hawk not sure what you'd call it. Thank you for the compliments I enjoy them immensly
Journaling is sooo good as long as you're writing about how you think and feel instead of just, ok this happened and that happened and I ate this which did this...I actually just realized this past week that you really do need to do it more from how you feel...and i've had the program for 4 years and have been working through it on and off for that period of time!! Also when we look at it when we aren't having those emotions in the present...we get to see more of why we have it and also our growth as well.
Neg to Positive Self Talk
I think we were all pretty dumbfounded by it..I know when i first started I didn't know I was as negative as i thought i was and i didn't realize why i was feeling tired all the time. We really don't know and then we start looking for suppliments that give us more energy or therapies and its all right there in us...And it is like you said...no wonder i feel so anxious or bad feelings, its only because I've been telling myself this. I'm really glad that you got ahold of anxiety by the tail. Good for you
It's kinda like what was said on either lesson 2 or lesson 3 cd...Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react.
By the way...doesn't it get exciting to go and replace the negative thoughts with positive ones? Or am I just a crazy person?
Mike
I'm all over it
Lenore
Yes i did change my picture, I got myself a mohawk or a faux hawk not sure what you'd call it. Thank you for the compliments I enjoy them immensly
Journaling is sooo good as long as you're writing about how you think and feel instead of just, ok this happened and that happened and I ate this which did this...I actually just realized this past week that you really do need to do it more from how you feel...and i've had the program for 4 years and have been working through it on and off for that period of time!! Also when we look at it when we aren't having those emotions in the present...we get to see more of why we have it and also our growth as well.
Neg to Positive Self Talk
I think we were all pretty dumbfounded by it..I know when i first started I didn't know I was as negative as i thought i was and i didn't realize why i was feeling tired all the time. We really don't know and then we start looking for suppliments that give us more energy or therapies and its all right there in us...And it is like you said...no wonder i feel so anxious or bad feelings, its only because I've been telling myself this. I'm really glad that you got ahold of anxiety by the tail. Good for you
It's kinda like what was said on either lesson 2 or lesson 3 cd...Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react.
By the way...doesn't it get exciting to go and replace the negative thoughts with positive ones? Or am I just a crazy person?
Mike
Speak YOUR MIND EVEN IF YOUR VOICE SHAKES
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Guest
This is a great thread. I'm glad I read it today it has put me in a good mood. I agree with you all, writing down my negative thoughts and replacing them with positive thoughts is the single most helpful thing to me. I also benefit from positive self-talk and do it alot. I do it out loud sometimes and people probably look at me a little funny, but I don't care. I just want to feel normal.
I am currently in week 9 and it is very helpful too. I have things from my past that I'm not proud of and I feel guilty about them alot. I am learning to forgive myself. Afterall, I have never in my life ever done anything with the purpose of hurting someone in mind and it's time to forgive myself for my past mistakes, forget them and move on. I also spend a lot of time worrying about the future. I have an autistic daughter and I catch myself thinking up these horrible scenarios about her future after I and my husband aren't able to care for her. It is so horribly negative and I have to stop it. Now I tell myself that I am going to enjoy her now, my husband and I are going to continue to build up a nest egg for her future care and I'm going to trust her siblings to take care of her when I can't.
I feel so much better but still have a long way to go!
I am currently in week 9 and it is very helpful too. I have things from my past that I'm not proud of and I feel guilty about them alot. I am learning to forgive myself. Afterall, I have never in my life ever done anything with the purpose of hurting someone in mind and it's time to forgive myself for my past mistakes, forget them and move on. I also spend a lot of time worrying about the future. I have an autistic daughter and I catch myself thinking up these horrible scenarios about her future after I and my husband aren't able to care for her. It is so horribly negative and I have to stop it. Now I tell myself that I am going to enjoy her now, my husband and I are going to continue to build up a nest egg for her future care and I'm going to trust her siblings to take care of her when I can't.
I feel so much better but still have a long way to go!
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Guest
Ninja - Referring to your comment about no wonder I feel so anxious, look at what I've been telling myself. This really didn't hit home with me until I read over my journal notes from 7 months ago and thought "No wonder I scared the crap out of myself all those years! Look at what I had been telling myself!" No wonder I was so nervous all the time! I started laughing at some of the absurd scenarios I had dreamt up. Did I really want to continue scaring myself? NO, No, and No!
Kelgavhen
Thats great to hear you got something good from the thread thanks to everybody who participated. I think that sometimes we need to hear it (even if it is from ourselves) in order for it to really sink in...when it comes to learning in general they say writing it is one, seeing it another, hearing it and doing it as well. So you're pretty much utilizing all of them good job. I think for myself...one day i'm just going to deliberately try to make myself look crazy to really get more comfortable with saying things out loud that people don't normally do like changing thought process.
As for the guilt...we all have things in our past that we aren't proud of...its part of being human. We don't always make the best possible decision and we sometimes make decisions out of fear, sadness, anger or some other emotion can cloud our perceptions but thats ok because nothing is ever set in stone and no ammount of guilt has ever solved any problem.
Mary
Thats is sooooo great that you can laugh at the way you were thinking in the past...it is such a great way to show you how you have changed and grown. Those things don't bother you anymore. That makes me think that i should check over my journal notes from 4 years ago up until now...I can only imagine some of the things that i wrote :S
MIke
Thats great to hear you got something good from the thread thanks to everybody who participated. I think that sometimes we need to hear it (even if it is from ourselves) in order for it to really sink in...when it comes to learning in general they say writing it is one, seeing it another, hearing it and doing it as well. So you're pretty much utilizing all of them
good job. I think for myself...one day i'm just going to deliberately try to make myself look crazy to really get more comfortable with saying things out loud that people don't normally do like changing thought process.As for the guilt...we all have things in our past that we aren't proud of...its part of being human. We don't always make the best possible decision and we sometimes make decisions out of fear, sadness, anger or some other emotion can cloud our perceptions but thats ok because nothing is ever set in stone and no ammount of guilt has ever solved any problem.
Mary
Thats is sooooo great that you can laugh at the way you were thinking in the past...it is such a great way to show you how you have changed and grown. Those things don't bother you anymore
. That makes me think that i should check over my journal notes from 4 years ago up until now...I can only imagine some of the things that i wrote :S MIke
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves...
who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are we not to be? --Unknown
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[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/loveyouguysWave.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/ValHeartsSmiHug.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/SigTags/LynneCocoaMo-1-1.jpg[/IMG]
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves...
who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are we not to be? --Unknown
*****************************************
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/loveyouguysWave.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/sigsAvatarsEtc/ValHeartsSmiHug.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v649/TheOneAndOnlyDerfy/SigTags/LynneCocoaMo-1-1.jpg[/IMG]
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Guest
I agree with you all that WRITING down the negative thoughts and changing them to POSITIVE thoughts was the most helpful thing overall!
I will say that in the beginning, though, the Relaxation audio was a great help to me. I was extremely anxious and had so many thoughts going on that I couldn't tell if any were positive or negative - it was just lots of noise that was scaring me.
The Relaxation audio got me to a point where I could STOP the madness and get enough control to where I was able to write negative thoughts down and change them to more positive thoughts.
I haven't journaled as much as I think would be helpful, so I think I really need to try that.
I will say that in the beginning, though, the Relaxation audio was a great help to me. I was extremely anxious and had so many thoughts going on that I couldn't tell if any were positive or negative - it was just lots of noise that was scaring me.
The Relaxation audio got me to a point where I could STOP the madness and get enough control to where I was able to write negative thoughts down and change them to more positive thoughts.
I haven't journaled as much as I think would be helpful, so I think I really need to try that.
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Guest
Hi Mike,
There is no way you are a crazy person, I read your post and all I can say is, THANK YOU! I started to write my negative thoughts, then replacing them with positive and boy are you right! It does feel exciting, looking at the positive things that come out of my mouth, really tells me that I'm not crazy and I can change this. I look at what I write and I'm impressed with my positive thoughts. I can finally see how practicing this will certainly get us past this mess. Thank you, Mike, for taking the time. Suzzie
There is no way you are a crazy person, I read your post and all I can say is, THANK YOU! I started to write my negative thoughts, then replacing them with positive and boy are you right! It does feel exciting, looking at the positive things that come out of my mouth, really tells me that I'm not crazy and I can change this. I look at what I write and I'm impressed with my positive thoughts. I can finally see how practicing this will certainly get us past this mess. Thank you, Mike, for taking the time. Suzzie