I'm scared. Ia there anyone out there like me? Can I be cured?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:25 am

Britt - I also told them on the phone that I coulnd't do the whole cost at once and I have a great payment plan for 8 months. I am currently on session 11 and I have it say honestly - it has truly, truly helped me on my path to recovery from depression (primarily) and anxiety...and all of the associated garbage that I was carrying along with them!!!

I am one of those heistant consumers too when it comes to shopping off TV! I had reached an all time low though and on a drive home from work, by myself in the car, I found mytself SCREAMING at the top of my lungs (until my throat was raw!)...just primal screaming! And then it turned into, "God help me - I can't do this anymore!"

The next morning when I turned my car on to go to work, Lucinda's commercial was on the radio and it stopped me in my tracks. To tell you the truth -I have never heard it on the radio before or again (I've seen it on TV since though). I wrote the number down and when I called the woman on the other end was so empathetic that I just couldn't get over that someone understood me...and that I wasn't the ONLY ONE who felt this way!

The companionship of these boards alone is a huge factor to me in healing! It is awesome to realize - just like you were saying - that we are NOT alone!

Blessings to you!

Dawn

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 12:49 pm

Hi! Today is the first new day of the rest of my life. Trying to sound upbeat is it working. I am getting tired of the few beers and or rum and coke to make me feel better so I can wake up to a hangover the next morning. The more this goes on the more shallow I am becoming, distant with loved ones and what really hurts I don't play with my dog the way I use to. This has been going on to long and I deserve better. I must make it through the program and continue to stay strong. Especially the last few months I feel like I'm being flushed down the toilet. I Need Air! Ok I'm going back to the program, we'll keep you updated.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 1:42 pm

Hanna, im a on week 6 and i have noticed a few changes. I have been a bit more compassionate toward myself but i beat myself up whenever i have obsessive scary thoughts. All i can say is to continue using the program, pray,and jsut understand that we are very sensitive caring people. we didnt get like this over night and we wont change over night. Like Lucinda says, recovery is 1 step forward, 2 steps backward. Just remain patient and resilient and it will all work out for the best. Youre in my prayers

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:34 pm

Hey Brit

I have also felt agitated constantly and frustrated at myself and my problems.

The good news is it doesn't have to stay like this forever. It's good you realize you don't want to stay like this.

REGARDING MEDS:

I was on meds 10 years ago, and stopped them because I didn't like the idea of being on meds. So instead, I self-medicated with alcohol and marijuana for many years. Every day, I just tried to make it through the day to get back to my comfort zone. I went to work, exercised, always looking forward to my nightly substance abuse as motivation to get through the day. One day I woke up and realized I didn't want this life.

I quit smoking weed and it took me almost a year to start feeling strong enough to assess my life and try to change my direction. Once away from drugs I realized there was a lot more to life than wishing it to be over and trying to escape.

I started zoloft in September, and my life has been improving by two steps forward, 1 step back.

I also used lorazepam for acute anxiety in the beginning (as sparingly as possible).

If you are too down or too stressed to even try, you may need the meds to help change the chemical balance in your brain back to normal...
Once you are out of the rut and start to change your way of thinking, you may not need meds longterm.

BUT WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? You are already feeling terrible - take help wherever you can get it...

PS
I did have side effects for the first few weeks but they went away - I don't have any problems with side effects now. BUT my attitude has improved and everyone I know has noticed. I still hope to improve even more...

Don't feel alone...we have all been there and still have those kind of moments but they always pass.

Love and light

Heather

Jeremy · Post by **Jeremy** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 7:40 pm

Well your biggest problem is your self medicating with the alcohol. That trick NEVER works. Sounds like alot of anxiety and if you cant tame it on your own I would definitly suggest meds. There are alot of good meds out there that will stop all the scary thoughts.
You may have to shop around to see what works for you. Let us know how your doing. Take care