Why oh why?

[icdesireinyoureyes]

I have been through this program once already and it worked beautifully. That was 6-8 years ago and I had a coach. My symptoms have returned and I am wondering why it is soooooo hard to do the program again the second time? I know it works, I did it. But slowly I have lost the tools and skills I had learned and now no matter how bad my symptoms get I cannot seem to get past tape three? Help guys I am really suffering here, I am also in school full time and am the single mom of a six year old. I feel depressed, and it is hard to make decisions. I feel like I am hanging on by a thread and again feel mentally ill although i know I am not. I don't play with my son like I would like to. I am irritable, snappy, forgetful, and panicked pretty much all of the time. And the crazy thing is I know where the answers are, they are in this program. So what's wrong with me? For gods sake why can't I pick the program back up and get through fifteen simple weeks instead of suffering daily, weekly, yearly?
Thanks to any and all of you for any feedback to help me help myself.

[Paisleegreen]

How are you doing now?