feeling like a failure

Marybc · Post by **Marybc** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 4:09 pm

I've basically dropped out of the program - mid october when my husband had a heart attack. He's fine now and back to work thankfully. I have not been able to get my head back into the program - I'm not into christmas - I told my kids not to come home for the holidays. I have the tree up - but I feel like I'm faking it. I will have to get a job in the new year if we are to keep our home - but I don't have the confidence to apply for a job. I drift through the days and can't find the energy or the ambition to do anything. Our home is up for sale. Usually I can pull myself out of a funk - but this time I feel like I'm in too deep. I've gained weight and don't want to leave the house.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 4:38 pm

i know it is hard to find motivation to work on the program when you are feeling so low. you might have to push yourself at first, but you will feel better for it later. I've been in those deep funks too, i didn't think that i would ever be able to change, but you can. No matter how little you feel like doing it, sit down and listen to one of the tapes and keep listening to them. you might not feel better right away, but if you work on it you will. you can get out of this

natalief · Post by **natalief** » Sat Dec 20, 2008 6:23 pm

I too have to go back to work. I was able to stay at home for 2 years and now because of bad circumstances I have to go back. This is what started my anxiety and depression. I kept wondering if I was ever going to feel better, but I actually am! I'm not quite ready for the job search yet, but I am getting there. Please don't give up. We're all here for you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 7:03 am

Greetings, and may I say Merry Christmas, Really! , You are not in a funk. You are describing classic depression. A funk is a mood, and it passes, usually within hours or a day. You gave yourself permission to recover when you obtained the program. I hope you will pick it up, and start back at the beginning. Start with your introduction DVD. Watch it a couple of times. Then, head on to Session One DVD. Watch it. When you are ready, move on to Session One CD. If you need encouragement, you can PM me. Or the other kind people who are replying to you here. I do not visit this community more than a few times a week, so I will not see PM's unless I am here. So, you can send me email. My address is on my profile. I'd like to see you start moving. I will help you. Okay?

NancyJ · Post by **NancyJ** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 9:23 am

Thank Pecos for your kindness! This is the strength of this network. God be with you!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:01 am

The only way to change is to take the steps you need to change. One small step at a time. Start the program over, tell yourself that no matter what, you will do some each day. When I was recovering I just kept telling myself that even if I didn't want to do it, I would, because I had no other choice except to continue to feel the way I was. Remember, the Change comes with the Doing. Its the way out.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:34 am

Marybc,
I also want to encourage you to take one small step at a time. Sounds like you are dealing with alot, but you can and will move through this. You'll be in my prayers for peace of mind, restored joy in your life and a new job that you can enjoy. We are with you! Merry Christmas!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Dec 24, 2008 5:45 am

Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement. Pecos - I can't thank you enough - I appreciate your help and I will email you. I have started back at the beginning - one day at a time.

Merry Christmas and all the best in the new year everyone.