need to vent
I had a bad evening with husband.. I cant even say I am sorry. He didnt know I was having an axiety attack last nite.. I just blew up and made him feel miserable along with me. I wont go into it all. I was up late listening to the relaxation tape and then the tape 2. Am I taking it too fast as I just started last Friday. Am I only suppoese to be on 1.. I did the workbook yesterday . I did the relaxation tape already this morning and am implementing the breathing without listening to the tape. I am telling myself to be more positive and then I laugh, thinking ..oh ya.. right.. I cant be decent to my husband .. I feel so badly.. it is only becuz I dont love me. that I treat him so badly.. he says I am blaming him and I am..I am mad at me.. and the world.. I have my own pity parties.. so sad.. I know I will be crying shortly .. u all have been here.. U know how it is.. and I just want to be so strong..and there are moments that I am.. just not often enough. How much more can one take.. I did try to take m own life last March. I was on Cymbalta.. I quit it slowly back then after that.. I am on natural vitimans now.I am better off those drugs, as it was scarey, I was on them for 15+yrs..it has been so long that I dont even knw when I had my first panic attack. I just want this over.. I am so confused.. I know I am not nuts.. but there are days.. all this is in the tapes.. it is all true what is in those tapes.. but it is very hard to for me to concentrate on them.. my mind just races.. I will be listening to tape 2 over again today.. please dont just say .. HANG IN THERE.. I know I have to.. it is so hard.. I have to go .. I am crying.. this is sad to be alone all day knowing that I have no ambition to do anything and then all of a sudden I may.. It is scarey..and I could ask if I am sick.. but the tapes say I am not.. ????
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monty'smom
- Posts: 151
- Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 3:14 pm
Hi njstme2,
I first just want to say I understand the feelings and am so sorry you are hurting so badly.
You are going to be feeling much different in just weeks...not completely better but well on your way as you go through the sessions. You will begin to notice small changes after the first 4 sessions most likely as long as you work diliigently every day. Make sure to go over each session as many times as needed..this varies from 1 person to another for many reasons. Do YOU JOURNALING without fail..everyday, read your work book and do all assignments, exercise and eat good nutritional foods. Stay away from stimulants if you aren't already...caffeins, sugary foods, sodas, too much fruit, or fruit juices. These will mess with your body chemistry and not help you at all.
As hard as it is you must talk kindly to yourself, and this is a hard thing to do when feeling so badly, I know..I have been there and it takes a lot of practice. You have practiced many bad, negative actions and now must become equally as effective doing everything positive.
It does not happen overnight, but slowly. Take those small steps each hour of each day and BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
We didn't get all these issues in a week so we can't expect to rid ourselves of them in a week or 2. I was working on myself 3 months prior to starting this program. I am seeing a new me developing and it just pushes me on to becoming a whole, happier, more joy filled person. My journey on here has been wonderfull for me. It will also be wonderfull for you, be patient.
You can PM me if you ever want or need to talk. I'm not a veteran by any stretch of the imagination but am a good communicator and love to help anyone who wants it.
Go Easy On Yourself about the fight, we have all had them, been there, done that. make a nice meal and eat by candle light tonight. That will make both of you feel better.
God Bless,
(((((HUGS)))))
I first just want to say I understand the feelings and am so sorry you are hurting so badly.
You are going to be feeling much different in just weeks...not completely better but well on your way as you go through the sessions. You will begin to notice small changes after the first 4 sessions most likely as long as you work diliigently every day. Make sure to go over each session as many times as needed..this varies from 1 person to another for many reasons. Do YOU JOURNALING without fail..everyday, read your work book and do all assignments, exercise and eat good nutritional foods. Stay away from stimulants if you aren't already...caffeins, sugary foods, sodas, too much fruit, or fruit juices. These will mess with your body chemistry and not help you at all.
As hard as it is you must talk kindly to yourself, and this is a hard thing to do when feeling so badly, I know..I have been there and it takes a lot of practice. You have practiced many bad, negative actions and now must become equally as effective doing everything positive.
It does not happen overnight, but slowly. Take those small steps each hour of each day and BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
We didn't get all these issues in a week so we can't expect to rid ourselves of them in a week or 2. I was working on myself 3 months prior to starting this program. I am seeing a new me developing and it just pushes me on to becoming a whole, happier, more joy filled person. My journey on here has been wonderfull for me. It will also be wonderfull for you, be patient.
You can PM me if you ever want or need to talk. I'm not a veteran by any stretch of the imagination but am a good communicator and love to help anyone who wants it.
Go Easy On Yourself about the fight, we have all had them, been there, done that. make a nice meal and eat by candle light tonight. That will make both of you feel better.
God Bless,
(((((HUGS)))))
BELIEVE YOU CAN CONQUER ANYTHING~ AND YOU WILL !! I DID IT, YES !!!!!