need advice about an upcoming event?

ali04 · Post by **ali04** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 1:28 pm

Hi,Just need a little support for a wedding i am going to in oct. for my nephew. It will be a country wedding so not all fancy. The problem is my brother in laws side of the family are snooty (some of them)and I have always felt insecure and not good enough around them. I know its that anxiety that kicks in. Anyways I am still on session 3 and the wedding is oct. 25. I just want to go there feeling positive and good about myself. I get timid and nervous around some of them and it will be a big event with alot of people. They all have there degrees and make good money etc. I have been a stay at home mom for so long and feel like they have nothing to talk to me about. I have a brother in law that likes to tease me and sometimes he is rude to me and can make me cry easy and then embarresses me for crying like I am crazy or weak and he didn't do anything wrong. I get hurt so easy and try alot to hold back the tears. My husband and kids will be there but I just want to be sure of myself and secure. i hate getting sweaty shaky and so nervous in social situations. This is family. I have to tell myself I will be okay but suggestions please I have a few more weeks to work on me. We will be gone for 4 days and I want it to be fun but am so scared being around some snobby people.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 1:54 pm

Wish you the best as the wedding approaches. I would suggest surrounding yourself with family members who are supportive........and being patience with yourself, because it sounds like you are making progress thru the program....eventually you'll get there and at the next family wedding you will be as happy as the bride..........god bless.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 2:06 pm

Well, its probably your first reaction to anticipate how everyone will act toward you...that being in a negative way. Maybe you could leave these preconceptions at home and just go with an open mind. Then if someone treats you in a deliberately malicious way, just express yourself honestly and say I would appreciate it if you could show me the respect I'm showing you. If they don't, then just leave the setting. Like we've learned we can't control other people, but we can control ourselves. Its not you that has the problem but instead its the other individuals you described.

Additionally, if you demonstrate a more confidant and comfortable attitude, you will probably receive more respect from others. They will observe you are less affected by them and comfortable with yourself.

Hope some of these suggestions help and you enjoy your time at the wedding.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Sep 29, 2008 2:18 pm

ali04,

You're putting way too much pressure on yourself. You don't always have to please everyone. Just be you - if someone doesn't like that, then that is their problem. Being a stay-at-home mom is an extremely noble (and difficult!) job in itself - something I'm sure you could school many of them on. So why do you think the degrees make them better than you?? I guarantee they all have their own "issues", and are far from perfect. Just be you!

John