Worried about going backwards

helenmelon · Post by **helenmelon** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 4:06 am

Hi guys i really feel like a am hanging on by a thread with going back to the way i use to be and i and getting scared. I wait up now and am nervous onthe moring again. I feel like i will fall back into that dp/dr and which i am been pretty good with this past year. I had a baby 7 months ago so my sleep is pretty bad. But my main problem are things going on in my family life. My sister is an addict and is making our whole family crazy she is a liar and mean and just plain manipulative. I feel bad for her I care all the time that is she does not get help she wont be here we did interventions and put her in rehabs in the last couple weeks and she signed herself out. I am lost and dont know what to do. And my mother is always talking about it. My sister is having a wedding in 3 weeks and is saying she is going to cancel it because on my sister and she thinks no one is interseted and i helped her out so much. And also( sorry to put all this on you guys) i found out something about my dad from over 50 years ago( which does not effect my life in the least bit) but keep saying am i going to lopok at my dad differant and just all that wacky stuff. I what is going on guys i am hoping am outside view can help because i have work so hard became mentally strong on the way there that i cant let this get to me but it is always in my face. HELP PLEASE

~Workin on ME~ · Post by **~Workin on ME~** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:03 am

Just use all of your new tools you have learnt from the program......you are strong and not alone!!! There are so many people just like us out there, who havn't found this site or the program!!! As for your sister there is nothng you can do!!! I know I lost my sister at the tender age of 51 to booze, just last year. Your other sister sounds a bit like a drama queen....let her cancell her wedding if thats what she really wants.....or she should be understanding , you having a newborn child. She can ask her in-laws to be to help with the planning. You need to take care of YOURSELF....no one else will, and your baby deserves a healthy mother!!!! So let all the family drama just pass you by!!!! Try to get more sleep....leave the housework and every thing else look after YOU. I hope this has helped you........Be Blessed

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:27 am

Hey,

Just wanted to let you know being a parent of an infant is hard enough by itself. But then you have depression and anxiety and family craziness thrown in the mix. God Bless you! Please don't allow your family problems to become your problems. Many people in our situations seem to make everybody else problems our problems like we don't have enough to deal with. Love your family members from afar. Pray for them and toss your hand in the air. I suffered from post-partm depression after all my children and your don't want to be dragged down that road. Think about your own emotional health right now.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 18, 2008 6:00 am

The two previous replies are so good, I don't know that I can add anything more helpful. I ditto ALL the advice here: you cannot help people who are addicts. I've said this in another post, I will say it again here. Addicts don't have relations with people. They have relations with their drug of choice. Being involved with them will make your life as chaotic as their own. Stay out of it. Interventions help when the party intervened with is ready. Until then, really and truly, stay out of that nonsense. As for people who tend toward the histrionics, leave them on their stage. They always find an audience, and you don't have time to be part of that, either. As for you and YOUR life and your baby, use this program. Get healthy, be healthy, raise a really healthy happy baby. You can do this. Really, you can do this.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 20, 2008 6:25 pm

Please remember that in any recovery be it from alcohol or drugs or anxiety, relapse is a part of recovery. I too have been struggling lately, feeling like I am black sliding, falling into old patterns and such, but it's important to remember, and I think Lucinda even says this on lesson 12, we are not striving for perfection. We are human and we are going to have things happen in life that test us. The knowledge that we've gained cannot be lost, but there may be times when we need to re-visit our books or the program to boost us.
Please don't be hard on yourself, and as for your family, I think the other posts hit the nail on the head; you can only worry about you. You can only control you. True there are many people, family included that are difficult to deal with and those are the times that we need to be extra good to ourselves, taking time to nurture and protect ourselves and not letting people affect us so much or give away too much of ourselves. I hope this helps!!

Malikye · Post by **Malikye** » Wed Aug 20, 2008 6:54 pm

Helen,
I think you listed all the reasons in your post as to why youre more anxious lately. I mean of course you feel more anxious look what is happening in your life. Its not like youre broken and dont know why you feel this way. At least you are aware of why you feel like youre "hanging on by a thread". Let me tell you, i am in that same position too right now. its awful to feel like youre not making progress or feel stuck. I too have had major sister drama and famil drama and all my mom used to do was talk about my sister and her problems and that would make me all anxious. Just like pecos said, try and stay out of your sisters affairs. In fact, just focus on yourself and your baby right now. And as for he other sister. . . who cancels a wedding because of this stuff? Maybe your sis says that but really has her own issues too with her wedding. Don't get involved in your families issues. good luck.