~VICKIguilt about missing work
Gamer-- that was an awesome response! and YES it IS so much harder to go back to work after you have been out.. Funny you should mention "the present precious moment" because that has been my focus lately- as I realized that I am either CONSTANTLY worrying about WHAT I DID or WHAT WILL HAPPEN!! That book is really good?? I reallt got a lot out of session 10- scary thoughts.... That is totally ME!!! Thanks so much,- u really inspired me today!! ~VICKI
~VICKI-
Gamer4Life
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Mon Dec 03, 2007 12:54 pm
Vicki, I'm glad my post helped...BTW, I am only on the first few chapters of the book, but it is really good and it seems to repeat alot of the things I have learned in this program....I bought if off of Itunes for about $20 and I listen to it whenever I get the chance. It isnt the easiest book to follow, but the Audio book makes it a little bit easier. The book was featured on Oprah and they did a lot of podcasts on it...you can download those for free if you have itunes...If you read it, let me know what you think..Stay positive....Gamer
It's not your heart (chest pain) its the circle above it! (head)
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GardenFairy
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Tue Mar 06, 2007 5:04 am
Dear Vicky,
I can totally relate to you! I also suffer from migraine (posted on "chronic disease sufferers" about it), and recently it has become more often, more severe and long-lasting than the years before. I think it´s because of my divorce and job change and stuff that shattered my nerves during the last year.
I also suffer from anxiety (since 1999), but I have never stayed at home becaus of anxiety. Not because I am so brave
but I knew that it will subside eventually, no matter how terrible I feel in the morning.
The migraine has become a real problem, I have attacks every 2-3 weeks that last 3-6 days or longer, and if I go to work then, it gets worse, so I have to call in sick and go to the doctor´s. I have to lay down on the sofa and wait until it goes away, which is terribly hard for me. As a person with anxiety, I got used to always being busy, and doing nothing causes panic! I´m in the civil service and here in Germany they won´t fire you then even if you are ill often. I have a calm job without much responsibility, so it´s really no tragedy if I stay at home. But I put myself under pressure and I´m full of shame and anger when I don´t "function". As I single Mum I get these fantasies about losing my job and not being able to take care of my child, not being able to pay back my debts then ect. That causes tension that makes the migraine last even longer
.
I try to distinguish being really ill from just feeling sick because of anxiety. Anxiety causes all kinds of body symptoms that can be really severe and scary, like exhaustion, nausea, dizziness, diarrhoe ect. Not easy to go to work although I feel like fainting, but I know it´s just the nerves and it will get better.
Sometimes, when I have done many things during the day, I look back and remember how horrible I felt in the early morning, I´m surprised. But when I have migraine, I really need a break and have to learn to allow myself to be ill.
Hope this helps a little!
Susanne
P.S. Do you live in Massachusetts? I have been in USA once in my life, and I at my Uncle´s who lives near Boston. Beautiful state!
I can totally relate to you! I also suffer from migraine (posted on "chronic disease sufferers" about it), and recently it has become more often, more severe and long-lasting than the years before. I think it´s because of my divorce and job change and stuff that shattered my nerves during the last year.
I also suffer from anxiety (since 1999), but I have never stayed at home becaus of anxiety. Not because I am so brave
but I knew that it will subside eventually, no matter how terrible I feel in the morning. The migraine has become a real problem, I have attacks every 2-3 weeks that last 3-6 days or longer, and if I go to work then, it gets worse, so I have to call in sick and go to the doctor´s. I have to lay down on the sofa and wait until it goes away, which is terribly hard for me. As a person with anxiety, I got used to always being busy, and doing nothing causes panic! I´m in the civil service and here in Germany they won´t fire you then even if you are ill often. I have a calm job without much responsibility, so it´s really no tragedy if I stay at home. But I put myself under pressure and I´m full of shame and anger when I don´t "function". As I single Mum I get these fantasies about losing my job and not being able to take care of my child, not being able to pay back my debts then ect. That causes tension that makes the migraine last even longer
.I try to distinguish being really ill from just feeling sick because of anxiety. Anxiety causes all kinds of body symptoms that can be really severe and scary, like exhaustion, nausea, dizziness, diarrhoe ect. Not easy to go to work although I feel like fainting
, but I know it´s just the nerves and it will get better.Sometimes, when I have done many things during the day, I look back and remember how horrible I felt in the early morning, I´m surprised. But when I have migraine, I really need a break and have to learn to allow myself to be ill.
Hope this helps a little!
Susanne
P.S. Do you live in Massachusetts? I have been in USA once in my life, and I at my Uncle´s who lives near Boston. Beautiful state!
I know exactly what u r going through. I had a great job, I had been promoted 4 times over 4 years and was a shoe in for the "BIG POSITION" .. they loved me... I was the golden girl, got it all done, the closer.
I was also a closet drinker and worrier, anxious and depressed that I had made it so far when i felt i didnt deserve it.. i hadnt graduated from college, i came from a poor home.. had custody of 3 of my little sisters, trying to make up their upbringing to them by being guilted into buying and doing whatever they wanted...
I started not going to work a few days a week, i was a field rep and could cover my steps for a few months, i just couldnt concentrait, i had also been traveling for 8 yrs on the road and felt the combo w my family was burning me out... I was in a 7 yr relationship with a man who loved me and that i loved, but we were not right for marriage ect... and he was not always concerned about me and my problems..
I CRASHED HARD...
i had a fear of public speaking, and soon a fter a surprise speaking event i was required to do last minute I resigned.. I lost everything.. claimed Bankruptcy, and finally came to this program which had been sitting on a shelf fully paid for, for a year.
God, if I only had opened it sooner, i saw what it did for my sister...
I met someone and became pregnant, and Im due any day... the skills this program has given me are a miracle... I have been sober for 9 months, and that in itself was the key to climbing out of the depressed anxious state.. i used to think it helped me to calm down (the drinking), yeah as far down as i could go!!
My fiance is suppoertive of me and the program, although i havent really worked since i met him.. hes starting to wory i wont go back to work, but I am all set to do so after the baby.. he didnt see the golden girl i used to be, and I still wish i would have had the opportunity to have taken that big job... but i will get there again someday! I know I will.
My advice here to you is that its not ok to miss work. Like you said ur not enjoying being home... dont b afraid to take a leave, and get the help you need...
My psychologist offered to write me out for short term disability for a clinical work related burn out- but i declined... oh my what would they have thougth at work?? I let the job i loved go because i was too proud..
after i left my job i broke up with my boyfriend and layed on a couch for a yr.. I take jobs here and there and last about a month before i just couldnt go back, it wasnt what i wantd to be doing, i just felt too anxous to continue... ect you all know the drill...
But, i have a lil person to be concerned with now, i have lowered my expectaions of myself and others, i truly feel i deserve inner peace, and I am beating this problem.
I wish you all the luck, but please listen to me when i tell you missing work is not ok, address it now. Dont be prideful, get the help you need... so u can skip a day now and then and go to he beach and reflect!
Peace and Love
Bonnie
I was also a closet drinker and worrier, anxious and depressed that I had made it so far when i felt i didnt deserve it.. i hadnt graduated from college, i came from a poor home.. had custody of 3 of my little sisters, trying to make up their upbringing to them by being guilted into buying and doing whatever they wanted...
I started not going to work a few days a week, i was a field rep and could cover my steps for a few months, i just couldnt concentrait, i had also been traveling for 8 yrs on the road and felt the combo w my family was burning me out... I was in a 7 yr relationship with a man who loved me and that i loved, but we were not right for marriage ect... and he was not always concerned about me and my problems..
I CRASHED HARD...
i had a fear of public speaking, and soon a fter a surprise speaking event i was required to do last minute I resigned.. I lost everything.. claimed Bankruptcy, and finally came to this program which had been sitting on a shelf fully paid for, for a year.
God, if I only had opened it sooner, i saw what it did for my sister...
I met someone and became pregnant, and Im due any day... the skills this program has given me are a miracle... I have been sober for 9 months, and that in itself was the key to climbing out of the depressed anxious state.. i used to think it helped me to calm down (the drinking), yeah as far down as i could go!!
My fiance is suppoertive of me and the program, although i havent really worked since i met him.. hes starting to wory i wont go back to work, but I am all set to do so after the baby.. he didnt see the golden girl i used to be, and I still wish i would have had the opportunity to have taken that big job... but i will get there again someday! I know I will.
My advice here to you is that its not ok to miss work. Like you said ur not enjoying being home... dont b afraid to take a leave, and get the help you need...
My psychologist offered to write me out for short term disability for a clinical work related burn out- but i declined... oh my what would they have thougth at work?? I let the job i loved go because i was too proud..
after i left my job i broke up with my boyfriend and layed on a couch for a yr.. I take jobs here and there and last about a month before i just couldnt go back, it wasnt what i wantd to be doing, i just felt too anxous to continue... ect you all know the drill...
But, i have a lil person to be concerned with now, i have lowered my expectaions of myself and others, i truly feel i deserve inner peace, and I am beating this problem.
I wish you all the luck, but please listen to me when i tell you missing work is not ok, address it now. Dont be prideful, get the help you need... so u can skip a day now and then and go to he beach and reflect!
Peace and Love
Bonnie
Slimjim saying HI. Just wanted to see if you woulld like to take a peek at my latest webcomic? If so let me know what you think.
Thanx.
[url=http://madamexinc.smackjeeves....cs/1029786/mx-inc-1/]http://madamexinc.smackjeeves....cs/1029786/mx-inc-1/[/url] I'm a recent graduate of the program and I just wanted to show those of you what this program has allowed me to do in ways I never thought was possible. It's allowed me to unlock some major creative juices and it can do the same for you guys as well.
Thanx.
[url=http://madamexinc.smackjeeves....cs/1029786/mx-inc-1/]http://madamexinc.smackjeeves....cs/1029786/mx-inc-1/[/url] I'm a recent graduate of the program and I just wanted to show those of you what this program has allowed me to do in ways I never thought was possible. It's allowed me to unlock some major creative juices and it can do the same for you guys as well.
Re: guilt about missing work
I realize that my overwhelming feelings of scary thoughts today, that kept me from going out prospecting was a buildup of interactions between myself and the process of prospecting that lead to my interpreting my experiences as negative, and compounded feelings and this lead to emotional paralysis. I would have to add in not exercising and eating foods that would lead me to being in worse shape rather than better and how that makes me feel. On top of all of this, I realized it was not just the specific scary thought of what would happen if I went to work, but negative thoughts that entered my mind in general that added to how I was feeling.
I am starting to feel better right now because I am thinking of positive thoughts and thoughts that are the opposite and desirable thoughts and drowning out the negative. I am still feeling heart palpitations, but fewer and less intense than I felt earlier today. I am also sitting down to eat some fruit and then exercise while I listen to an audio session. I feel confident I should feel better sooner than later.
I am starting to feel better right now because I am thinking of positive thoughts and thoughts that are the opposite and desirable thoughts and drowning out the negative. I am still feeling heart palpitations, but fewer and less intense than I felt earlier today. I am also sitting down to eat some fruit and then exercise while I listen to an audio session. I feel confident I should feel better sooner than later.