Karen, I still have to read your postings, so I'll be back!
PaisleeThe Challenge...Lesson 9
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
No thank you paisleegreen. I had no idea Oprah had a show on this subject and it has been so very important. In fact after watching more of the show part 1, I have started to write. I was already planning to write a book but wasn't sure how I would go about doing it and what exactly I wanted to write. I actually I came from a place where I wanted to do it for my image, in order for more people to like and respect me but after I watched that original video to trigger my feelings and then Oprah, I came from a more compassionate place and I truely am thinking about all the other people who have and are suffering right now and because of this the words are just coming out of me, I really don't have to think about it or worry if it will sound right or not. I'm putting my heart and my soul into this and I want to set a really good example of how its ok to show that you're hurt and its ok to voice your feelings and we all deserve to be listened to. I'm hoping this book will help people going through it as well as the family of these people who don't understand or if someone they loved committed suicide because of it and they just want some answers.
Mike
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Feared Fantasy Technique
This can help you to modify a self-defeating attitude. Essentially, you confront your worst fears in a dramatic way - and you discover that the monster you've been so afraid of is not real but just a hot air balloon.
It represents a synthesis of cognitive therapy and behavioral therapy. Behavior therapy is based on the notion that you must confront your fears before you can conquer them. If you have an elevator phobia, you must get on the dlevator and stay there, no matter how frightened you feel, until your anxiety is vanished. With the feared fantasy technique, exactly the same thing happens except that the fear you confront results from a thought or an attitude, such as "I must be a success in life to be worthwhile."
I demonstrated the feared Fantasy Technique at a recent meeting of the American Psychiatric Association. One of the participants, a psychologist named Manuel, agreed to play the role of a patient so I could show the audience how cognitive therapy actually works. As it turned out, the demonstration became quite real. Manuel had tears in his eyes once he began to talk about his belief that he had to be perfect to earn people's love. He said he felt ashamed because he cried and showed weakness in front of his professional peers. He was convinced they would look down on him.
I suggested we use the Feared Fantasy method to deal with this concern. I told him he could pretend to be a mean colleague named Jack and I would be Manuel. Jack would put me down and say the cruelest things he could possibly think of.
Manuel (As Jack): Hi, Manuel! Didn't I see you doing that demonstration with Dr.Bruns last week at our annual meeting?
Dr.Burns (as Manuel): Yes, that was me up in front. What did you think of the demonstration?
Jack: Honestly, Manuel, I was embarrassed. You seemed to be on the verge of crying
Manuel: Actually, tears did come to my eyes during the deomonstration. I found it ver moving. Why was this embarassing for you?
Jack: Well, for a grown man, a psychologist no less, to be crying in front of a group of his associates is kind of inappropriate, don't you think?
Manuel: You mean it's inappropriate to show my feelings? Or it's inappropriate to have strong feelings? Or what? I don't exactly get your drift.
Jack: Well honestly, Manuel, crying in public like that isn't the most professional or put-together thing in the world.
Manuel: I see. You think that a "put-together" person would not be moved to tears. Do you think less of me because I was moved to tears?
Jack: As a matter of fact, I do. I don't intend to be cruel, but I feel you deserve to know the truth. I think you're a jerk.
Manuel: Well, I could understand you might not approve of crying during a psychotherapy demonstration. I do think it's okay, and we could have a gentlemen's disagreement about that. The experience turned out to be extremely valuable for me because I learned to believe in myself and to stop being so afraid of criticism. You might not approve of being moved to tears or crying. You might think that it's more professional or mainly to control your emotions in certain situations. For my part, I think we'd be better off if we were more natural and felt free to show our feelings. But I still can't grasp why you think I'm "a jerk." Am I "a jerk" because I cried? Or because I disagree with you? Or what?
Jack: Touche. I give up!
We then reversed roles, and I became the ruthless critic. I tried to put Manuel down for crying, and he talked back to me. He did beautifully. He said the exercise gave him tremendous self-confidence. After the workshop was over, one of the partipants said that the demonstration was one of the most moving experiences he'd had in many years. He said he was grateful that Manuel had dared to share his feelings with the group. It shows just how off-base we can sometimes be with our fears and self-doubt.
Sometimes the vulnerabilities we try so hard to hide can be our greatest assets in terms of getting close to others!
(Cont)
This can help you to modify a self-defeating attitude. Essentially, you confront your worst fears in a dramatic way - and you discover that the monster you've been so afraid of is not real but just a hot air balloon.
It represents a synthesis of cognitive therapy and behavioral therapy. Behavior therapy is based on the notion that you must confront your fears before you can conquer them. If you have an elevator phobia, you must get on the dlevator and stay there, no matter how frightened you feel, until your anxiety is vanished. With the feared fantasy technique, exactly the same thing happens except that the fear you confront results from a thought or an attitude, such as "I must be a success in life to be worthwhile."
I demonstrated the feared Fantasy Technique at a recent meeting of the American Psychiatric Association. One of the participants, a psychologist named Manuel, agreed to play the role of a patient so I could show the audience how cognitive therapy actually works. As it turned out, the demonstration became quite real. Manuel had tears in his eyes once he began to talk about his belief that he had to be perfect to earn people's love. He said he felt ashamed because he cried and showed weakness in front of his professional peers. He was convinced they would look down on him.
I suggested we use the Feared Fantasy method to deal with this concern. I told him he could pretend to be a mean colleague named Jack and I would be Manuel. Jack would put me down and say the cruelest things he could possibly think of.
Manuel (As Jack): Hi, Manuel! Didn't I see you doing that demonstration with Dr.Bruns last week at our annual meeting?
Dr.Burns (as Manuel): Yes, that was me up in front. What did you think of the demonstration?
Jack: Honestly, Manuel, I was embarrassed. You seemed to be on the verge of crying
Manuel: Actually, tears did come to my eyes during the deomonstration. I found it ver moving. Why was this embarassing for you?
Jack: Well, for a grown man, a psychologist no less, to be crying in front of a group of his associates is kind of inappropriate, don't you think?
Manuel: You mean it's inappropriate to show my feelings? Or it's inappropriate to have strong feelings? Or what? I don't exactly get your drift.
Jack: Well honestly, Manuel, crying in public like that isn't the most professional or put-together thing in the world.
Manuel: I see. You think that a "put-together" person would not be moved to tears. Do you think less of me because I was moved to tears?
Jack: As a matter of fact, I do. I don't intend to be cruel, but I feel you deserve to know the truth. I think you're a jerk.
Manuel: Well, I could understand you might not approve of crying during a psychotherapy demonstration. I do think it's okay, and we could have a gentlemen's disagreement about that. The experience turned out to be extremely valuable for me because I learned to believe in myself and to stop being so afraid of criticism. You might not approve of being moved to tears or crying. You might think that it's more professional or mainly to control your emotions in certain situations. For my part, I think we'd be better off if we were more natural and felt free to show our feelings. But I still can't grasp why you think I'm "a jerk." Am I "a jerk" because I cried? Or because I disagree with you? Or what?
Jack: Touche. I give up!
We then reversed roles, and I became the ruthless critic. I tried to put Manuel down for crying, and he talked back to me. He did beautifully. He said the exercise gave him tremendous self-confidence. After the workshop was over, one of the partipants said that the demonstration was one of the most moving experiences he'd had in many years. He said he was grateful that Manuel had dared to share his feelings with the group. It shows just how off-base we can sometimes be with our fears and self-doubt.
Sometimes the vulnerabilities we try so hard to hide can be our greatest assets in terms of getting close to others!
(Cont)
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
WoW! This was painful to read. My heart breaks for all of you who have been effected by abuse.
I am fortunate, I was never abused in these ways. Not having kids, I have not had to raise children in these environments either.
I can say this and I'm not sure if my story will help anyone here or not but my mother was very young when she had me.(16) She did not know how to be a mom. She did not know how to be a wife either. I grew up in my grandmas care. I never was very attached to my mom. It bothered me because so many people just"loved" their mothers. I thought something was wrong with me. Could not understand it, and tortured myself over it. It wasn't I didn't love her, I just had not gotten the things in life from her I needed or felt no bond. Only criticism, jealousy, perfectionism.
YEARS later, like my 40's I found out my mom was abused by her father. (we all thought "grandpa" was dead from my earliest memories )( Also this WAS very common years ago too.) The big light came on in my mind. It was the missing link that I never could understand. It changed my everything. I felt so sad for my mother. She had lived with so much pain for so many years and still does as she still has not told me about it.( I heard this from my sister who was going to look up our family tree, and my mother confessed to her, and begged her not to speak to anyone about it.) There were no self help back then, or doctors to talk. And these things were kept in the closet and not talked about, ever!
This is a new world with so much information and help it now comes to the courage stage to change it for yourself and those who you surround yourselves with. I can only offer my support and encourage you along the way. I can send prayers to comfort you, and to protect you on your journey.
I can tell you this as well, hind sight is always 20/20. Our mothers did the best they could with what they knew and it was not perfect! But under the terrible environment they did not even understand, they loved us. and that is what gave us encouragement to grow. Its not about the past,( we can not change it, we can only see what we want to change and make steps toward doing so.) it is about where we want to go, with the knowledge we now know we can do this!
Just my contribution.
I am fortunate, I was never abused in these ways. Not having kids, I have not had to raise children in these environments either.
I can say this and I'm not sure if my story will help anyone here or not but my mother was very young when she had me.(16) She did not know how to be a mom. She did not know how to be a wife either. I grew up in my grandmas care. I never was very attached to my mom. It bothered me because so many people just"loved" their mothers. I thought something was wrong with me. Could not understand it, and tortured myself over it. It wasn't I didn't love her, I just had not gotten the things in life from her I needed or felt no bond. Only criticism, jealousy, perfectionism.
YEARS later, like my 40's I found out my mom was abused by her father. (we all thought "grandpa" was dead from my earliest memories )( Also this WAS very common years ago too.) The big light came on in my mind. It was the missing link that I never could understand. It changed my everything. I felt so sad for my mother. She had lived with so much pain for so many years and still does as she still has not told me about it.( I heard this from my sister who was going to look up our family tree, and my mother confessed to her, and begged her not to speak to anyone about it.) There were no self help back then, or doctors to talk. And these things were kept in the closet and not talked about, ever!
This is a new world with so much information and help it now comes to the courage stage to change it for yourself and those who you surround yourselves with. I can only offer my support and encourage you along the way. I can send prayers to comfort you, and to protect you on your journey.
I can tell you this as well, hind sight is always 20/20. Our mothers did the best they could with what they knew and it was not perfect! But under the terrible environment they did not even understand, they loved us. and that is what gave us encouragement to grow. Its not about the past,( we can not change it, we can only see what we want to change and make steps toward doing so.) it is about where we want to go, with the knowledge we now know we can do this!
Just my contribution.
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Feared fantasy method continued
You can do the feared fantasy exercise with a therapist or with a friend, or you can do it as a written exercise on your own.
The following is an example that a patient of mine, Linda, completed as a homework assignment between sessions. Linda is attractive and personable and has a great career as a stockbroker, but she is afraid to flirt with men and to develp an intimate relationship because of her intense fears of becoming vulnerable and risking rejection. The Vertical Arrow Technique indicated that Linda's problems stemmed from "emotional perfectionism". She believe that she should never have or reveal negative feelings like anger, anxiety or sadness. She thought that to be loved, she had to be a "perfectly mature" woman who was always completely poised and in control of her emotions. She felt that as soon as any man discovered her real self, she'd be rejected. Rather than risking this, she settled for loneliness.
I asked her to write out a dialogue with an imaginary man who was rejecting her after several dates because she was "too emotional." I told her to make him much worse than any real man would ever be, and to say the cruelest, most upsetting things she could think of. The purpose of the exercise was to get her to confront her worst fears so she wouldn't have to spend the rest of her life feeling afraid of intimacy. The following is a brief excerpt from the dialogue she wrote.
Rejecting man: Well, Linda, I've decided that I need a little "space," so I won't be seeing you for awhile.
Linda: I find that upsetting. Can you tell me what the problem is?
Rejecting man: Yes, I'll be happy to. You're emotionally retarded. You worry and you get upset about things. You're not strong. Now that I know you well, I'm disgusted, so I'm going to leave you.
Linda: It sounds like your main complaint is that I get upset at times and I'm not strong and tough enough emotionally.
Rejecting man: Yes, thats just the problem. You always overreact. You're such a neurotic. When I met you, I thought you had it all together, but now I see you're an emotional invalid.
Linda: Well, it's true that I do get upset about lots of things. I worry when the market goes down and my clients lose money. I also feel quite annoyed right now. These are just two things I have strong feelings about - there are many more. Do you think these strong feelings make me an "emotional invalid"? Are you looking for a woman with no feelings? Or am I misreading you? What exactly is your point?
This confronted Linda's belief that a man could love her only if she met some ideal of how a perfecly mature woman feels and behaves. Writing out the dialogue helped Linda see that this ideal really represented an emotional strait-jacket, and that if someone did reject her because she had feelings, it might be a blessing in disguise. Who would really want to be married to a man who didn't want his wife to have feelings? As obvious as this might seem, this insight helped her accept herself as a spontaneous and emotional woman. this gave her the courage to break out of her self-imposed isolation and to reach out to others.
Cognitive therapy has 2 goals: to help you feel better in the here and now and to help you develop a more realistic personal value system so that you will not be so vulnerable to painful mood swings and conflicts with others in the future.
Mike
You can do the feared fantasy exercise with a therapist or with a friend, or you can do it as a written exercise on your own.
The following is an example that a patient of mine, Linda, completed as a homework assignment between sessions. Linda is attractive and personable and has a great career as a stockbroker, but she is afraid to flirt with men and to develp an intimate relationship because of her intense fears of becoming vulnerable and risking rejection. The Vertical Arrow Technique indicated that Linda's problems stemmed from "emotional perfectionism". She believe that she should never have or reveal negative feelings like anger, anxiety or sadness. She thought that to be loved, she had to be a "perfectly mature" woman who was always completely poised and in control of her emotions. She felt that as soon as any man discovered her real self, she'd be rejected. Rather than risking this, she settled for loneliness.
I asked her to write out a dialogue with an imaginary man who was rejecting her after several dates because she was "too emotional." I told her to make him much worse than any real man would ever be, and to say the cruelest, most upsetting things she could think of. The purpose of the exercise was to get her to confront her worst fears so she wouldn't have to spend the rest of her life feeling afraid of intimacy. The following is a brief excerpt from the dialogue she wrote.
Rejecting man: Well, Linda, I've decided that I need a little "space," so I won't be seeing you for awhile.
Linda: I find that upsetting. Can you tell me what the problem is?
Rejecting man: Yes, I'll be happy to. You're emotionally retarded. You worry and you get upset about things. You're not strong. Now that I know you well, I'm disgusted, so I'm going to leave you.
Linda: It sounds like your main complaint is that I get upset at times and I'm not strong and tough enough emotionally.
Rejecting man: Yes, thats just the problem. You always overreact. You're such a neurotic. When I met you, I thought you had it all together, but now I see you're an emotional invalid.
Linda: Well, it's true that I do get upset about lots of things. I worry when the market goes down and my clients lose money. I also feel quite annoyed right now. These are just two things I have strong feelings about - there are many more. Do you think these strong feelings make me an "emotional invalid"? Are you looking for a woman with no feelings? Or am I misreading you? What exactly is your point?
This confronted Linda's belief that a man could love her only if she met some ideal of how a perfecly mature woman feels and behaves. Writing out the dialogue helped Linda see that this ideal really represented an emotional strait-jacket, and that if someone did reject her because she had feelings, it might be a blessing in disguise. Who would really want to be married to a man who didn't want his wife to have feelings? As obvious as this might seem, this insight helped her accept herself as a spontaneous and emotional woman. this gave her the courage to break out of her self-imposed isolation and to reach out to others.
Cognitive therapy has 2 goals: to help you feel better in the here and now and to help you develop a more realistic personal value system so that you will not be so vulnerable to painful mood swings and conflicts with others in the future.
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
Get Off Guilt And Worry Treadmill
* Guilt is self-imposed, therefore, we are in control.
* Guilt was meant to be a tap on the shoulder, not a broken life.
* Guilt is anger directed at ourselves.
* Guilt keeps "it" alive. Apologize from "it". Learn from "it". Let go of "it".
* FORGIVE = To be FORgiving. Become solution oriented = Action
if there is no forgiveness, you're still a victm of the situation.
"Guilt trip? Don't buy the ticket"
Side 2
1. SCHEDULE - daily worry time, avoid at all other times. Gradually eliminate.
2. There is no magic in worry.
3. Good worriers are good goal setters.
4. Switch to problem-solving
5. Live in the precious, present moment.
6. 95% of what we worry about never comes about.
7. Worry is a habit - unhook.
8. Worry is an avoidance behavior, fueled by fear. What did you worry about today? What did it solve?
* Guilt is self-imposed, therefore, we are in control.
* Guilt was meant to be a tap on the shoulder, not a broken life.
* Guilt is anger directed at ourselves.
* Guilt keeps "it" alive. Apologize from "it". Learn from "it". Let go of "it".
* FORGIVE = To be FORgiving. Become solution oriented = Action
if there is no forgiveness, you're still a victm of the situation.
"Guilt trip? Don't buy the ticket"
Side 2
1. SCHEDULE - daily worry time, avoid at all other times. Gradually eliminate.
2. There is no magic in worry.
3. Good worriers are good goal setters.
4. Switch to problem-solving
5. Live in the precious, present moment.
6. 95% of what we worry about never comes about.
7. Worry is a habit - unhook.
8. Worry is an avoidance behavior, fueled by fear. What did you worry about today? What did it solve?
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
THH;
Well my post was filled with intense emotion, I just started to flood with it. It was painful. Your story shows how the abuse can affect the people around the person who was molested and that is important! I felt the same way about my mother too. She was very distant and she avoided listening to what I had to say and avoided dealing with issues and its hard. You do start to think that maybe you aren't good enough. Is this how you felt? There was even one day she kicked me out of the house because I refused to do the dishes and so I moved in with a friend. I was working at a grocery store and she knew that and would come in but did not try to talk to me at all. I eventually went back but i'm not even sure what had happened to get me to do that. I think she was emotionally retarded (and I do mean that in a literal sense) possibly the similar way to how I am or I feel I am. Its not easy for me to figure out how other people are feeling and relate to them in that way.
Sounds like there is alot of shame still there for her and she continues to still live that suffering. Have you ever thought of sitting her down and letting her know how you feel about it? I know for me that I have upset many people because I was so self-consumed with this pain and I was aware and felt bad that I wasn't as considerate with others and couldn't give them what they needed and if someone I felt I really hurt came up to me and they let me know that they forgive me, it would mean the world to me. It would be alot easier for me to let it go.
I do appreciate the support and encouragement.
I have a hard time with the statement that mothers did the best they could with what they knew. Why couldn't they do more research or talk to a therapist? Why couldn't they get more information? I'm also not ready to accept that my mother loved me or even cared for me yet.
Mike
Well my post was filled with intense emotion, I just started to flood with it. It was painful. Your story shows how the abuse can affect the people around the person who was molested and that is important! I felt the same way about my mother too. She was very distant and she avoided listening to what I had to say and avoided dealing with issues and its hard. You do start to think that maybe you aren't good enough. Is this how you felt? There was even one day she kicked me out of the house because I refused to do the dishes and so I moved in with a friend. I was working at a grocery store and she knew that and would come in but did not try to talk to me at all. I eventually went back but i'm not even sure what had happened to get me to do that. I think she was emotionally retarded (and I do mean that in a literal sense) possibly the similar way to how I am or I feel I am. Its not easy for me to figure out how other people are feeling and relate to them in that way.
Sounds like there is alot of shame still there for her and she continues to still live that suffering. Have you ever thought of sitting her down and letting her know how you feel about it? I know for me that I have upset many people because I was so self-consumed with this pain and I was aware and felt bad that I wasn't as considerate with others and couldn't give them what they needed and if someone I felt I really hurt came up to me and they let me know that they forgive me, it would mean the world to me. It would be alot easier for me to let it go.
I do appreciate the support and encouragement.
I have a hard time with the statement that mothers did the best they could with what they knew. Why couldn't they do more research or talk to a therapist? Why couldn't they get more information? I'm also not ready to accept that my mother loved me or even cared for me yet.
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Mike--I had to question myself when to watch this special Oprah show. When was the right time, because I knew it would be a very sensitive and emotional show, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to watch it. I'm being careful at what shows I watch to keep my anxiety controlled or my tender heart from breaking.
But I'm glad I watched it and I felt so bad for these men. It is so heartbreaking. I had a few incidents happen to me that are nothing compared to what has happened to my childhood friends that would tell me what was happening to them, which was awful but being innocent and also not able to have a conversation w/ my mother I didn't tell her anything.
One time I was in trouble for chewing gum in class. The teacher had me put the gum on my nose and press my nose and gum on the chalkboard that she drew a circle around it. I was humiliated and embarrassed in front of my 6th grade class, if not 5th grade. I was in tears while up there and finally I could sit down and I was holding back tears then.
I could tell the boy sitting next to me was sad for me, but this teacher was terrible. When I relayed this story to my mother years later, she was Shocked!
She told me that I should have told her, and that teacher shouldn't have done that! She was quite upset with this and if she had known I think she would have gotten after the teacher or the school.
But how was I suppose to know, my mother was not easy to talk to about anything really.
So when my daughter came home one day from school and told how the Principal embarrassed her in front of her class when she was around 9 or 10 years old, I wrote a letter to him and I got a reply back and kept the letter. It wasn't until I got a call from a Prosecuting Attorney that I found out the Principal was being sued for indecent behavior to the 10 and 11 year old girls.
The Principal would grab hold of the back of the girl's training bras and "snap" them. My daughter then told me that he did that all the time, but not to her. Anyway, the Prosecuting Attorney came across the letter I wrote to the Principal and asked about what happened and then if I had the letter I got from the school.
I had it, but "where" was another question! Anyway, I couldn't find it at the time so they just used me as a witness and told my story, my daughter testified as well. They didn't need me as much, but everything helps. The Principal ended up, I guess sort of like your Mother, Mike, under so much stress that he had a heart attack and died.
But I'm glad I watched it and I felt so bad for these men. It is so heartbreaking. I had a few incidents happen to me that are nothing compared to what has happened to my childhood friends that would tell me what was happening to them, which was awful but being innocent and also not able to have a conversation w/ my mother I didn't tell her anything.
One time I was in trouble for chewing gum in class. The teacher had me put the gum on my nose and press my nose and gum on the chalkboard that she drew a circle around it. I was humiliated and embarrassed in front of my 6th grade class, if not 5th grade. I was in tears while up there and finally I could sit down and I was holding back tears then.
I could tell the boy sitting next to me was sad for me, but this teacher was terrible. When I relayed this story to my mother years later, she was Shocked!
She told me that I should have told her, and that teacher shouldn't have done that! She was quite upset with this and if she had known I think she would have gotten after the teacher or the school. But how was I suppose to know, my mother was not easy to talk to about anything really.
So when my daughter came home one day from school and told how the Principal embarrassed her in front of her class when she was around 9 or 10 years old, I wrote a letter to him and I got a reply back and kept the letter. It wasn't until I got a call from a Prosecuting Attorney that I found out the Principal was being sued for indecent behavior to the 10 and 11 year old girls.
The Principal would grab hold of the back of the girl's training bras and "snap" them. My daughter then told me that he did that all the time, but not to her. Anyway, the Prosecuting Attorney came across the letter I wrote to the Principal and asked about what happened and then if I had the letter I got from the school.
I had it, but "where" was another question!
Anyway, I couldn't find it at the time so they just used me as a witness and told my story, my daughter testified as well. They didn't need me as much, but everything helps. The Principal ended up, I guess sort of like your Mother, Mike, under so much stress that he had a heart attack and died.-
Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm