morals

[l[z]

Good morning all,

Between depression,ocd and menopause,this past year has been a real rolller coaster ride.My latest dilema is about the movies my husband and I have been watching.

My husband enjoys going out to the movies very much.He likes action packed movies the most.He chooses a movie based on who the actors are starring in it.Favorites are Steven seigal,Jonhn travolta and others.The problem is
that most of the movies we see scatter sex sceens throughout it.I've never felt comfortable during those particular sceens,and lately my feeling have intensified.

First of all,as a christian I believe that it is morally wrong to watch other people having sex (and of course there is alwayse frontal nudity of the woman,sometimes more.)Secondly,I resent my husband looking at another womans body.Of course the woman are always very beauiful to make matters that much worse.

I've told him that from now on I'd read the review first and if the movie included sexual content I won't watch it.He said,ok, then I'll go alone.

This is very disturbing to me.I think that knowing how much it upsets me for him to view that kind of material he should have enough respect and consideration for me to choose not to.Shouldn't I be more important than a movie?

Maybe this sounds like I've gone off the deep end,but I feel like I'm being cheated on when he sits in a dark movie theatre and watches a beautiful,partially naked woman have sex (the sights,sounds etc...involved.)I can't help but to wonder how it might be affecting him.All those involved in making a movie know how to make us feel like we are there experiencing whats happening.I think most people feel horrified during a horror movie.Maybe I have weird thoughts but I feel like I'm sharing my bedroom with another woman and it infuriates me.
He thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing.He says it's what people do and it's nothing,it's not even real.This is when I remind him of when he read playboy magazines years ago.He sure enjoyed looking at those pictures and they certainly weren't real.If he enjoyed looking pictures of girls I would imagine one on a movie screen would be even better.Believe it or not,I lay awake at night and thoughts of this eats away at me.ocd issue or normal?

I think that I should be more important than ANY movie and he should be concerned more about my feelings.

#2 issue,In years past he has gone out to a bar for a change of sceenery a beer and maybe play a game of keeno or 2.I would join him most of the time and have a drink with him,(for some reason he really likes for me to have a drink with him.)Took 13 years for me to find an alcoholic beverage I could stand (strawberry daiquri) more like a dessert.Never liked the bar sceen either but he went so I went along with him.For quite a few years he stopped going,we had the grand kids on the weekend and they kept us busy.I was glad.Now that he's retired he's back to going to a bar about once every couple of weeks and without me because I'm working nights.He spends about an hour there.In the past I wished he didn't go to the bar with or with out me.Now my feelings aout that have intensified.Don't like bars and especially don't like him going to a bar alone.He says it's just for a change of sceenery,he chats with the others (says their all men)plays some keno and listens to the band.
He's never given me a reason to think he's been unfaithful to me.He says he hasn't and I believe him.But unexpected,unplanned things can happen in a bar room when people are drinking.I don't think a married man belongs in a bar without his wife.If he insists on going I'd rather be with him.

Once again I think my feelings should come first.I should be more important than a bar stool.It isn't the the end of the world if he can't sit in a bar and have a beer.Small sacrifice for peace in a marriage.

Am I being unrealistic?I don't think I should watch a movie that I woulddn't watch if Jesus was with me in person by my side.Adultry,fornication,murder....these are not the kind of things that he instructs to think on(those that are pure,lovely......)I think even christians compromise and we shouldn't.Even wev'e become used to the way the world is today and have to check back on what God says is moral and immoral in order to walk with Him along His path.

Bar sceen,good,bad,right,wrong???? Help!!!!!! Not sleeping,distracted all the time by these thoughts in work and everywhere.

Your responses and prayers greatly appreciated,Liz

[Guest]

Hi Liz ,
I would be honored to pray for you and your hubby!!!

I must say that I don't care for those "type" of things, either...Ugh!!!

My hubby drunk for many years and he did love the bars, and I am sure he has watched those "type" of movies, although he never did seem interested in pornography!!!

I learned through experience, my dear friend, that we cannot change anyone else, no matter how much we would like to...

What I did was pray, pray, pray and pray some more for my hubby!!!

I continued taking my children to church and God was on the very top of my list!!!

I did not follow after him, or go to the bars, because it was not my thing!!!

I really believe my hubby was watching me very closely, because it wasn't long, until he stopped the bar hopping, drinking and all of the rest, once I began attending church faithfully!!!

I do know for a fact, that once I placed God before my hubby, then he began to change!!!

My hubby is a Christian now, and has been for many a moon!!! He loves the good Lord and attends church with me every weekend...not because I ask him to, but because he wants to!!!

I figured out a very long time ago, that when we begin to read our Bibles, pray and talk about our Heavenly Father in front of our hubbys, attend church, and put God before them, they will eventually change, because God will change them!!!

The Bible says that our husbands can be won by our chaste conversations!!!

Remember, if you give into the "bar thing" and go with him, then you are not being a light to him and he may never change...

Same way with the movies...You can't prevent him from watching them, but you can make sure that you don't watch them with him!!!

I would try and turn all of this "negative" energy around for yours and your husband's sake!!!

I would do all of the above and I am sure you will begin feeling much better about the situation, and God may just get a hold of your hubby, like He did mine...

I pray this little posting helps you, my dear friend!!!

Remember, God is in complete control of every single "aspect" of our lives, so just give it all to HIM and try your best to think positive...

I pray you get a wonderful night's rest..May God Richly Bless you Liz!!!

[Guest]

Hey Liz,
This is not one bit funny and I know exactly how you feel!!! Please just let go and give it all to God so you can get some rest, my friend...

I used to get very upset at my hubby for drinking and going to the bars, and I forgot to mention that he wanted me to join him, which made it even rougher, because I did not feel like I belonged in that "type" of setting, and God knows that I didn't...

I can't stress this enough...Put God way up at the "very" top of your list and read your bible in front of your hubby and to him, if he will let you , and I also forgot to mention, it definitely helps to listen to your "gospel" music, when he is around and when he isn't...

I used to sit there reading my bible, while my hubby was watching TV, and during the commercials, I would say, "Honey listen to what this scripture says"

And he would listen!!! It really is all about us (wives) making the very first moves and never going back on them...

I pray this further helped you Liz!!!

[Guest]

Thabk-you,Thank-you and Thank-you again!!!You've confirmed what I thought the Lord has been speaking to my very cluttered,troubled mind.
Sometimes when I'm very upset I have difficulty hearing Gods voice.My own thoughts crowed His voice out.
Now I feel at peace with the decision to not join him when he goes to the bar or to a movie that I consider unacceptable to God,(which will be a high percentage.)I'm sure your familiar with the chapter in the bible that lists all the kinds of things tha God instructs us to think on and most of the movies don't contain that type of content.
I thank you for your much needed prayers.I'm an expert at dwelling on the negative and do need to follow your advice on spending more time in the bible,in prayer and putting God first in my life.

I'm on my way out the door,got to visit my mother in law who's in the hospital.She's recently been diagnosed with cancer; it's throughout her body.She'a a christian and I've witnessed Gods grace keeping her at peace throughout this struggle.She's 82 and lived a good life.She's asked God to take her home because unless He chooses to heal her this is a terminal illness and she'd rather be home with Him than here struggling and having her family watch her struggle.There are many praying for her but I'm sure she'd appreciate all the prayers she can get.

Thank-you for your faithfullness to God and to those of us here on the forum who have been blessed by your words of comfort and wisdom.

Love Liz

[Guest]

Sometimes when I'm very upset I have difficulty hearing Gods voice.My own thoughts crowed His voice out.

My Dear Sister and Friend,
I think each of us have been "guilty" of that one!!! I know that I have many times

I am soooo very thankful this little posting helped you in some way!!!

I will keep you and your hubby in my prayers!!!

Have a beautiful day filled with much sunshine, joy and laughter!!!

Much Love in Christ Jesus...Cloie

[Guest]

I used to obsess about things like this.One message that changed my life is on a web site called mooreonlife.com. When you get there go to listen to todays message. Once there go to audio archives then to Bible Basics then to My Goodness he's gracious. It's a four part series that is just awesome. List lovers is a really good one in this series. You will love it.

Have a great day,
Pat