In re to knowing people by their fruits.
When someone professes to be a Christian, or a believer, they say they believe in God, and pray to God, they read the bible, yet they live a life contrary to what the Bible teaches...are they really Christian?
Fruits
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Guest
I need advice and prayers. Shifrah,I am one of those people that reads the Bible, prays and goes to church but considers myself to be a hypocrite at this moment in my life. My mother-in-law has had a stroke and as a result of not limiting her activities, she fell and broke her ankle in 3 places! She chain smokes and eats everything that is bad for you. She has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, the list can go on. My husband wants her to convalesce in OUR home. She feels that she does not have to make any life style changes in order to get better. She says she can't figure out why the Lord is doing this to her. Duh!! I have tried to tell her (short of me ramming my head through a wall) that He hasn't done anything, you have, to yourself with the years of smoking and neglect to your body. She just will not accept that. I got upset (because she says she will not quite smoking or eating whatever she wants) and told her if she even thinks she is coming into my home and not doing anything to make her life better, she is out of her mind! I told my husband that I can not help anyone who will not help themselves and she is acting very selfish and narrow minded with this very very serious situation. He has also started smoking after 7 years of quiting. This was done behind my back since I am non-smoker. His mother does all of his bookkeeping for his company so they are together quite a bit. He will not back me on this. My thoughts are now very hateful. I am frustrated beyond belief because I have a diffiuclt time dealing with ignorance. Did I mention that her cujo-dog Bear (110 lbs)has to stay with us during this because he can't be around strangers. He has already chewed up one of kitchen door frames along with the door knob and door? He chewed out my screen door to the deck too. We have had to chain him outside to a post when we leave and she is upset about that. This is putting the biggest strain on my marriage and I do not feel loving or christian like towards her. I seem to have lost my patience. Am I wrong in feeling that she should meet me half way on this?
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Guest
Hello Kgirl
I hope you dont mind me jumping in with a thought but right away I thought "wow that girl has a lot on her plate and some heavy duty decision making to do?!" I think that just the fact that you WANT to do the right thing and are asking for prayer and guidance tells me your heart is in the right place, you are just frustrated with how it's all going to work out with everyones honor still in tact, and the family not harmed. I will pray for you about this, I do think your husband needs to honor his Mother but the bible clearly says for husbands to leave their Mothers and Cleave to their wives. You should be his Main Woman now ya know?
Again you have my prayers, hang in there and keep asking for the Lord to give you some wisdom about this. Maybe you and hubby can meet with your Pastor to brainstorm solutions?
Take Care,
Jill~
I hope you dont mind me jumping in with a thought but right away I thought "wow that girl has a lot on her plate and some heavy duty decision making to do?!" I think that just the fact that you WANT to do the right thing and are asking for prayer and guidance tells me your heart is in the right place, you are just frustrated with how it's all going to work out with everyones honor still in tact, and the family not harmed. I will pray for you about this, I do think your husband needs to honor his Mother but the bible clearly says for husbands to leave their Mothers and Cleave to their wives. You should be his Main Woman now ya know?
Again you have my prayers, hang in there and keep asking for the Lord to give you some wisdom about this. Maybe you and hubby can meet with your Pastor to brainstorm solutions?
Take Care,
Jill~
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Guest
kgirl I'm sorry you are going through this. What I was referring to was something entirely different, I was talking about somebody who leads an unChristian lifestyle.
Anyway, this is YOUR home, and you don't need to let anybody walk all over you, which is what it sounds like. My MIL has similar issues, she's on her 4th angioplasty and has not made any positive and healthy changes to her life, she is an alcoholic and eats things that does not belong in her body, and will cause her newest stent to re-clog, but it's her life, what can I do.
I did have a similar issue, where we had to stay at the in-laws and they'd drink at night while we were there, also I never got along great with the MIL. DH always wanted to stay there while we were in town to "save" money, but I put my foot down and let DH know how I felt and that I was hurt that my feelings weren't taken into consideration.
You do need to have a heart-to-heart with your DH about this matter. You just simply say you do not want the dog in your house. Period. Let the fall-out happen but don't feel bad or guilty, this is your house. Not hers. If your hubby doesn't agree then maybe you need to seek marital counseling, he should not be domineered by his mother, as Jill says when the man leaves his home to get married, he cleaves to his wife. You both have to make sacrifices for each other, this is one he's going to have to make for you!
God bless.
Anyway, this is YOUR home, and you don't need to let anybody walk all over you, which is what it sounds like. My MIL has similar issues, she's on her 4th angioplasty and has not made any positive and healthy changes to her life, she is an alcoholic and eats things that does not belong in her body, and will cause her newest stent to re-clog, but it's her life, what can I do.
I did have a similar issue, where we had to stay at the in-laws and they'd drink at night while we were there, also I never got along great with the MIL. DH always wanted to stay there while we were in town to "save" money, but I put my foot down and let DH know how I felt and that I was hurt that my feelings weren't taken into consideration.
You do need to have a heart-to-heart with your DH about this matter. You just simply say you do not want the dog in your house. Period. Let the fall-out happen but don't feel bad or guilty, this is your house. Not hers. If your hubby doesn't agree then maybe you need to seek marital counseling, he should not be domineered by his mother, as Jill says when the man leaves his home to get married, he cleaves to his wife. You both have to make sacrifices for each other, this is one he's going to have to make for you!
God bless.
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Guest
I just had a long reply not go through.
I will try this again.
I agree with everything Jill wrote here. You come before his mother, if he can't see it that way, maybe some marital counsel is in order.
Just as you have to make sacrifices for him, he needs to for you.
I know it's frustrating about your MIL's lifestyle, I am in the same boat, mine underwent her 4th angioplasty and she's still eating the wrong food that is going to reclog that stent like she did with the 3 others. She is also an alcoholic, and things were difficult when we'd be in town and stayed in their home with our young children. Enough was enough, I finally told DH how I felt and paying for a motel room paled in comparison to having to stay under their roof in uncomfortable situations.
There isn't a whole lot we can control about their lifestyles, but we can control our own environment and if you don't want that dog in the house, you tell your DH how very strongly you feel about the whole situation.
After all, people are more important than dogs. If she thinks that way, she can find a hotel for her and her dog.
This sounds more like an issue between you and your DH than you and your MIL. This is YOUR home. She doesn't get to control it.
By the way, the OP was in regards to someone who lives an unbiblical and unChristian lifestyle - it just sounds like you are frustrated and overwhelmed, so much different than what I was talking about.
I will try this again.
I agree with everything Jill wrote here. You come before his mother, if he can't see it that way, maybe some marital counsel is in order.
Just as you have to make sacrifices for him, he needs to for you.
I know it's frustrating about your MIL's lifestyle, I am in the same boat, mine underwent her 4th angioplasty and she's still eating the wrong food that is going to reclog that stent like she did with the 3 others. She is also an alcoholic, and things were difficult when we'd be in town and stayed in their home with our young children. Enough was enough, I finally told DH how I felt and paying for a motel room paled in comparison to having to stay under their roof in uncomfortable situations.
There isn't a whole lot we can control about their lifestyles, but we can control our own environment and if you don't want that dog in the house, you tell your DH how very strongly you feel about the whole situation.
After all, people are more important than dogs. If she thinks that way, she can find a hotel for her and her dog.
This sounds more like an issue between you and your DH than you and your MIL. This is YOUR home. She doesn't get to control it.
By the way, the OP was in regards to someone who lives an unbiblical and unChristian lifestyle - it just sounds like you are frustrated and overwhelmed, so much different than what I was talking about.
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Guest
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Guest
Shifrah and Jill - Thank you both for your words of encouragement. I received a call from my hubby this afternoon apologizing for all that is going on and that he will include me in every decision from this point on. He said he has noticed me pulling away and realized what he actually has done or hadn't done. We aren't where I would like to be yet in this situation but this is a great start! We are going to sit down tonight when all is calm and have a discussion concerning his mother and what all we will be doing.I'm feeling a little anxious but I know the programs working because at this point I'd be a mess. If I didn't know better I'd swear one of you called my husband.
Thanks again guys and God bless you!!!
Thanks again guys and God bless you!!!
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Guest
Kgirl I'm so happy for you and your hubby. I think he really knows that this isn't working out well. This is a good time to lay your heart out there on this manner.
Please keep us posted!
I would like to get some more answers also - I have a dear friend who confuses me. I don't know if she even has a walk with the Lord, she lives in a very worldly way.
It is hard for me to understand because she is unashamed of her belief in God but also unashamed of her lifestyle. They conflict.
I would like to approach her reasonably but I'm never good at confrontations.
Please keep us posted!
I would like to get some more answers also - I have a dear friend who confuses me. I don't know if she even has a walk with the Lord, she lives in a very worldly way.
It is hard for me to understand because she is unashamed of her belief in God but also unashamed of her lifestyle. They conflict.
I would like to approach her reasonably but I'm never good at confrontations.
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Guest
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Guest
Shif.. 
I just want to say you are an encouragement .. i see from reading ur post you seek truth. You are right about your friend our fruits must macth our confessions.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shxQcczYuAA
I just want to say you are an encouragement .. i see from reading ur post you seek truth. You are right about your friend our fruits must macth our confessions.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shxQcczYuAA