Alternative Spirituality for Anxiety & Depression

herebedragons · Post by **herebedragons** » Sun Aug 23, 2009 11:29 am

Hello All,

I wanted to start this thread because it seemed to me, as I read, there was little space for those of us who are not overtly religious but are overtly Spiritual.

I hope I have not offended anyone by posting this, BUT as a not-so-much Christian and still believing in ALL else, frankly, I needed somewhere to go.

Thanks,
H.B.Ds

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 24, 2009 4:54 am

Hi All,

I was hoping to get some support for depression & hopelessness today.

Just got a new diagnosis to add to my "collection" and that is Adie's Tonic Pupil. It seems the nerve endings, in my left eye, are pulling away from the muscle fibers and causing unequal dialation with my right eye. No known cause; no known cure. I won't lose the sight of that eye but the dialation causes all sorts of problems with balance, driving, reading...just the important things, to name a few.

I am so sick of this. I go for a while improving and then the roller-coaster-ride begins. This triggers this and so on ad nauseum.

I also have Fibromyalgia, Adrenal Fatigue and heavy Metal poisoning...on top of high BP and Hashimoto's Disease (Thyroid).

Is there no end to worry/stress that triggers it all?

I've been thru the program once and am going to go thru again but DAMN. All the positive thinking I can do right now is bent on the negative side.

I KNOW that The Creator hasn't left me here alone and that I am not the only one with problems. I also know that my thinking can make everything so much worse than it is. It's the emotions that go with this that are giving me fits.

If the Universe only gives us what we can handle then I wish IT would stop thinking I am so damned strong. And if, IT "...never closes a door without opening a window" then I so wish IT would put a candle in the RIGHT window for me to find. And I can't even get into "...this too shall pass" at this point.

I feel so out of control and like I am Dieing piece by piece...slowly losing interest in everything, including eating...not sleeping restoratively, hating getting up to new problems and relaxation being a foreign word.

How do I get off this run of mood? What do I tell myself? Where do/can I go to support myself. My self-esteem is lower than it has ever been...I can't cry this out, scream it out, talk it out...and I am out of hope.

Please help if you can, by telling me what you do to help yourself.

I feel so old and used up.

Herebedragons

mcshope · Post by **mcshope** » Mon Aug 24, 2009 6:21 am

I know all too well what being at the end of your rope with yet "another" thing that surfaces. It is so trying on our well being. I can remember at one point where if the doctor told me I needed one more repetitive strain injury surgery I would have gone completely over the edge and not come back. At some point I gave up, and accepted what was happening. It's not that I didn't care anymore- I just gave in to what was happening and accepted "what is." I stopped thinking "why me?" and started thinking "ok this is what is, how do I work WITH this and stop fighting it." A few lines from Pema Chodron's (a Buddhist nun) book "When Things Fall Apart" helped me. - She mentioned that she had always been the type of person to try and fix things before they happened but when the universe gave her way too much at one time she decided to just let things fall apart because out of all this chaos will eventually come order. I hope this makes some sense to you, as if you have not read anything on Buddhist teachings it may not. In other words, sometimes we are so much overwhelmed we end up fighting the situation instead of working with it. At one point in time I wouldn't even go to the doctor because I didn't want to hear yet "one more thing that was wrong!" Now I say "oh ok, another thing to work with." The funny thing is I have had no new things come up for many years now. Once I flowed with the river instead of against it, it all seemed to disappear. You are not old and used up. Your are more than just what is happening to your body- Much more. For some reason we seem to have this image that our body is supposed to be perfect all the time. This is not possible nor is it reality. It may not always do what we want it to do, but it has not failed us.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 24, 2009 7:50 am

Hi herebedragons,

Could there be any relation to your diet? As you said you are losing the desire to eat. Perhaps your body is telling you to rest with a fast, maybe just fasting with liquids?

There's a good book by Gabriel Cousens called Depression Free For Life, that may interest you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 26, 2009 2:18 am

Thank you Mary and Shif,

Mary, "going with the flow" is something I am not good at. And your message was actually passes to me by a 7 yr old yesterday. He said "...you get what get and don't throw a fit." So I am going to start asking that question of myself about working with "it" instead of against it. Thanks.

Shif, I am on a high protein and nutrient diet for Heavy metal poisoning and adrenal fatigue. I am positive for copper and aluminum so I have to stay way from foods containing these. I am very careful but it is hard and due to the carb restrictions, very boring. And not much to do about it. But Thanks.

Thanks for the much needed support.

H.B.Ds.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:35 am

Hello herebedragons,

I was puzzled by the phrase "Not overtly religious but overtly spiritual." In some cases "religious" and "spiritual" can be used as synonyms for each other. It appears that you are making a contrast between these two words. I am interested in understanding what meaning you are giving to these two words.

I'm sorry to hear about all the struggles that you are going through and I hope that you will start feeling better soon. I hesitate to share anything further because I'm confused about the way you opened up your post and I do not want to say anything that you might be telling us that you do not want to hear.

Thanks for any clarification that you can give and have a great day.

Sincerely,
GIL

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:47 am

welcome here..i understand what youmean very much in the spiritual verses organized religions/'should' judging etc. gil alot of us folks know that terminology well, we all have diferent reasons to use words tho. but basically we we all want loving regard and not to be preached to as tho other person thinks their opinions paramount. anywho, mary i LOVED what you wrote!!! sigh here......one thing at a time=you do have alot on your plate. positive list of easy broke down things to do for responsibilities daily and rest in between. boooks on tape or cds of self help while you put your feet up could help. i just like what they said about ted kennedy recently that he sure knew grief many a time in his lifetime...no not perfect, but a man who tried to help others and step thru each grief stricken moment. luv to you here=believe it or not take lesson 3 to ONE of your overwhelming negatives at a time, and at least try to make it more reasonable instead of doomsday. no need to put it into positive counter, til you step forward on the at least more reasonable countering. sometimes pretending the worst case scenario like blindness=then what would you do this moment might help as you do have so much more going. sometimes the diagnosis hashimotos can be countered with i am being taken care of and monitored and what CAN i do this moment might help. i too have had my share of 'obstacles' since young age health wise and this crappola, and always try to find plan b...c....d...-z. advances happen with scientific research, and i have not been cured, but enjoy a better quality of health at the moment=not without certain complaints if i let myself. but choose to be an overcomer, and pat all you eeny bitty overcomings on the back(your own back!) and never never never compare yourself to another!!!!!!!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:23 am

Gil,
Sorry I confused you with my word use but thank you deeply for not wanting to offend. I simply mean I strongly believe in the Universe, A Creator and I only make the distinction because I have seen others make the distinction here. Positive Energy, that anyone believes in, Any and ALL of it, is my Spiritual Belief. Better? Thank you for your concern.

And Beth, thanks so much for your support. I can try many of the things you suggested. It's just so hard to stay focused when things are hitting you all at the same time. I do know that worry and alone-time are my deepest enemies, as they are the times my anger toward myself begins to pick at my being and I find so many things to be used as self-sabotage. I have honed Beating myself up, to an art and especially the not taking care of myself.

I keep telling myself that my idea of the Universe (A loving, nurturing, all powerful and caring place) doesn't expect this of It's children but when I add the "...unless there is a lesson I need to learn" to it, I get to thinking..."so I just must be not getting it" and feel so abandoned. So I know my own thinking is throwing fuel on the flames. I just want resolution of something...I guess not even healing but rather an explanation and a way to manage it, so that my quality of life is better.

Thanks,
H.B.Ds.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 6:31 am

thanks hbd! i like that tag. try to set aside analyzing as tho things your fault...as old wise saying says 'time and unforeseen ocurrences befall us all'=my take on that is just plain this moment forward/no deep reason-no analyzing why. and NOT blaming the victim. just my tht that has helped me. i luv meeting you, and know you will get better =remember forced step by little step is the way to end goal of your journey. remember to, if someone stops by to give you a ';lift' go right ahead, hop on!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 11:43 pm

I fully understand the distinction between spirituality and religion. My research has led me to believe much of religion is rooted in the lust for power over people's thoughts and to create fear. Spirituality is what has been repressed for centuries. But I also believe if a religion works for you, there is no need to change that belief. I totally agree with the idea that letting things fall apart will produce a way out of chaos and depression. And prayer... we know now that prayer is a science, which works wonders for us... internally as well as in the world. I am currently taking the online version of the program because I'm on a fixed income for disability. I died twice from heart attacks, but prayers brought me back. So far, I'm working on changing my way of thinking. This is HARD! But it seems that if I stay active (I write songs and short stories) it's easier to stop the negative fears which my upbringing (Roman Catholic) and shyness have partly caused. I'm also trying to come to grips with having lost everything (house, job, car, etc) all the things I took for granted in life. I have been deeply moved by all your posts, and I am glad to know I am not alone any more. Bless all of you. In unity, there is strength.