Hello Girl4God

welcome aboard! You made a very good decision joining this website, I've been a member for almost two years, and I don't know what I would have done if God hadn't directed me here! He is an Awesome God! You asked what my story of anxiety is, so I will copy and paste my very first post here. Sorry it's so long, but it's my story and I felt the need to "let it all out" lol..so here it is
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Posted August 07, 2007 02:48 PM
Hello All, my name is Robin and I've been suffereing with Anxiety,Depression,OCD and panic attacks for nearing all of my life! I am 38 and have been blessed with SIX children!
To begin telling my journey through it all, I will say that as early as I can remember having anxiety was probably five years old. I have a twin brother and we were inseperable! We were in the same kindergarten class together and when he had to go to his "special classes", I would clam up and shut myself out of everything until he came back. It would make me feel sick to my stomach when he would leave. ( That would all change when we became teenagers, and brothers were such a neusance LOL..)
anyway, I can recall having the 'butterfly" feeling and nausea way back then.
Without going into to much detail, I have also been diagnosed with PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder). This all came from things I've experience in my life! Not just one traumatic experience, but several things that just added up. Here's the condensed version ..LOL...My mother was diagnosed with Paranoid/Schizophrenia when I was 12..(That's the main reason I suffer with anxiety today, I have a constant fear of becoming like her and it scares me!! I sometimes fear that I am paranoid while have panic attacks, has anyone else experienced that kind of symptom??? please let me know) I've been through a 17 yr. abusive relationship in which I have four older kids from that marriage. I am now married the second time and just had twin boys in 2006( I'm not always sure that it is full blown anxiety with possible PPD??) My husband now is a gem however the relationship between him and the older boys have been rocky! So much that just a month ago I sent my youngest(of the first four) back to live with his bio-father..I have been guilt ridden ever since. He didn't want to move back there(although he loves his father and they have a great relationship) he is now away from all of his other siblings and I am angry with my husband now as I feel he can be selfish and not understanding when it comes to the older ones. I'm currently dealing with alot of anger, bitterness, anxiety, fatigue(with twins ya know)depression etc . etc. etc. However I don't want to try meds(been there done that didn't like it) so I'm posting here to get some advice! I do have the "program" and have had it for two years..I LOVE IT and don't know what I'd do wthout it. I'm just having a set back and need to get back at it again for a refresher. forgive me for my ramblings, I just needed to vent, and what other place better than here, right?? I have more to say and ask, but I'll hold off right now as my time on the computer is limited to when the babies are nappin ahhhhh..my time LOL..Thank you all for listening, take care &God bless."
Girl, I DO believe that if it not be for anxiety, I would not have surrendered myself completely to God. So with that being said, I have to look at anxiety as a blessing in a way.(I didn't think I'd EVER be able to say that, sometimes, it still frightens me

I've learned so much about myself in the last two years it just amazes me! I am totally convinced now that it's all in the mind and THROUGH Christ Jesus we have the POWER to OVERCOME ANYTHING!!! I'm not in any means saying that it's easy to do. It's all about my Faith and total committment to drawing closer to God. The more I read the Bible, pray, worshipping, helping others, the more I see the anxiety lifting. Today, for example, I've been feeling it in my stomach. A bit nauseas and light headed. I've had numerous stessful phonecalls today, babies are a bit hectic and I'm tired, HOWEVER, I know that there is little time for rest and reading when I have twin two year olds running around, soo...I will "float" with the anxious feeling, pray and know that in just a few hours they will be in sweet slumber and Mommy will dive into the word and arm myself to do it all over again tomorrow

I find that anxiety rears it's ugly head when I am knee deep in responsibility and I'm overwhelmed with it. In other words, I'm completely tired and STRESSED! It's important to take a rest from all of our daily responsibilities! I mean seriously, God rested too!!! Think about it! He knew what was good for us, hence the "sabbath day rest". Our bodies NEED IT, and so did God! Every issue that arises in our life, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS can be fixed or healed through reading the "word". Every life issue can be found there and there is ALWAYS a remedy

I know you understand that

What a Gift you and your husband have

God bless you both!!!! Hey, if you'd like to "PM" me with ANY questions, etc. feel free! I hope this explains some things..I will be praying for you! Take care, God Bless and P.U.S.H. (Pray Until Something Happens

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Robin