Don't know what to do

karenLeigh · Post by **karenLeigh** » Sat Nov 29, 2008 4:14 pm

There is alot going on in my life right now. To make a long story short. Tommorrow is the last Sunday at our church. I havn't been there in almost a month, due to kids being sick and then me. Then my anxiety got so bad that I started avoiding things. I've been having Agorophobia real bad latly. I know I need to be there tommorrow to support my husband(he's the pastor). The church has been hard on him about leaving. They keep telling him it's not time for you to go. I feel bad because I know I havn't been there for him(at church)
I am so sick at my stomach right now...just thinking about going makes me nervous. He knows I have been having problems. He say's he understands if I don't go. I just feel like the worst wife and mother in the world! I need to be there. I just have this panic feeling about not being able to leave. We live about 45 minutes from the church. So it's not like I can just leave. Plus we ride together(actually we have no other option right now, one car).
I guess I'll go look at session 2. I don't know what else to do. It's already 11pm here in ga.
Having this anxiety&depression makes me feel sooo selfish and I know I must look selfish.
That's why I get so depressed! I don't think other people can really understand it if they have never had it(anxiety&depression).

Any suggestions on what to do??

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Nov 29, 2008 4:46 pm

Karen Leigh,

You are not the worst wife and mother in the world and you are anything but selfish. These are just feelings being fueled by your anxiety right now. It is such a hard disorder, but I have read your posts and you are very strong and caring. Try to remember that you have what it takes to do anything you need to do.

I have suffered from this for many years so believe me I do know how you're feeling at this moment. But, I want to tell you that if you decide you really want to be there tomorrow I know you can do it.

When I'm going through a period like you are right now, I picture all my scary thoughts floating away on a cloud. Try to take a step back for a moment and picture everything your mind is telling you just floating on that cloud. Try to picture God surrounding you with his love and power. He has created you in his likeness and therefore you posess all the strength and fortitude to accomplish what you want to do. Your husband sounds supportive and understanding since he says he knows how you feel.

Nothing bad is going to happen to you if you go tomorrow and I think if you can do it you will be unstoppable in the future. Pay attention to your breathing and refuse to move out of the moment. Remember when the fearful thoughts come, put them on that cloud and let them calmly float away. The thoughts become feelings and they are NOT real. The only real thing is your moment and you can choose for it to be peaceful and loving.

Call on your Angels. They are waiting to stand beside you tomorrow. Hec, this is their job and if you don't use them they will be out of work!!!!!

I wish you the best and I'm believing you will do this.

Please let me know how great you feel tomorrow.

Best wishes, Donna

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Nov 29, 2008 5:55 pm

Karen,
I know you can do this. You are strong. Anyone who suffers with anxiety, they are simply the strongest people. If you feel you need to be there, always tell yourself, there is always an out. You can leave anytime you need to. You can go to the restroom, you can go set in the car if you need. Take a book to read, crossword puzzles, word search. Anything to distract you, that is if you do go set in the car. I know you can't do these things in church. But I know you can do this. Take your cards with you and read them over and over. You are strong, you are safe, you are secure. You will be fine. It's just anxiety, it won't hurt you, you will be OK.
You can do this! Hang in there. Don't be so hard on yourself, you are a wonderful person, those of us that suffer with anxiety are great people. If you decide not to go, that is ok too, you will still be there for your husband in other ways. But I do know you can do this if you set your mind to it. Just remember when you start to feel anxious, put that red stopsign up and say, NO I'm not gonna think like this, I can handle whatever comes, I will be OK, and just keep praying. I will pray for you too.
Your Friend
Angla

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Nov 29, 2008 9:43 pm

When I don't know what to do, I don't do anything. Eventually, everything will fall into place. However, when I don't "feel" like or "don't" want to go to worship, (H is a minister), I make myself go, and afterward, I always feel better. A lot of the time during Bible Class, we will come across something that I need at the time. Now, you can do it, and you'll feel better for it. This anxiety, depression, whatever else, is a pain, I know, but with God's help and our determination, we can prevail. Prayer is a wonderful tool. I just wish God would say "Yes" more often. Maybe I don't "ask in faith". I know where you are coming from, so hang in there. Silvia

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Nov 30, 2008 3:57 am

You can do it I would suggest using your relaxtion tape before you go, Stay in the present moment one moment at a time and reassure yourself REMEMBER the body symptoms will not hurt you and its ok to have anxiety just float don't fight it You can do it!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Nov 30, 2008 3:55 pm

Thank you all for your encouraging words and for being so kind. I wasn't going to write back because I felt bad...I didn't go this morning or tonight. I'm going to try and put it behind me and move forward. That's all I know to do. Thanks again for everything. It means so much that you took the time to write me. I was feeling all alone but ya'll made me feel like I wasn't.

Take-care and God bless

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 01, 2008 11:50 am

Hi Karen Leigh,

NO BIG DEAL!!!! You have such a great attitude. We cannnot change yesterday, we cannot predict tomorrow, but we can live in peace in this moment. That's what you are doing now, and that is a wonderful accommplishment in itself. You are never alone. Everyone is here rooting for you. You will get to that place where you can do anything you want to do as long as you keep believing in yourself. You know that God can take you to places you've never even dreamed of!

God Bless, Donna

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 3:49 am

Thank you Donna. You have made my morning! You make me think of my mother...with your inspirational words. She always gives God the glory for everything in her life. Even when it's bad. She will find the good in it.

Take-care and God bless you

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 02, 2008 2:11 pm

whenever i'm in a state of mind like you are. i go to a quite place, sit down close my eyesask god to wrap his arms arond me and i visualize him gentlytelling me his is healing me right now. i allow myself to feel his love for me. i can feel his peace. i ask that he take this depression and anxiety for the day so that i can complete my day. then at night i do the same thing. i know he is healing me because i ask him to. in doing this little thing i feel better right away. maybe this will help you

Marc Stipo · Post by **Marc Stipo** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 8:08 am

Karen, do you have a friend or someone at the church that you feel calm in their presence. Could you confide your feelings in them and ask that they stay by your side during the church service? They could be your "wingman", so you have someone to talk with and focus on while you're hanging out during the service.