Christian new to program.
Hello, I'm new to the program and to posting messages. I feel better just reading the other messages. I hope this is the answer to my prayers, I have to work, but am getting afraid of having a panic attack @ work. My family says not to tell anyone the real reason when I can't work "It will look like a sign of weakness" My father is a minister and thinks it's ok to lie about this for the sake of my job. LOL I'm tired of being afraid and very tired of not being honest and feeling ashamed.
Hi,
My father-in-law is a prominent Baptist preacher, and I don't have many good things to say about him in how he conducts his personal life, although he has a stellar image-which is what is most important to him. Sadly, it looks like your father has fallen into the trap of doing whatever it takes, including lying and sinning, to keep up a perfect image. Doesn't make any sense, but it happens all of the time with my in-laws. Please read the Christian book, "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse". It doesn't mean that your father is some evil man who is purposely abusing you. However, he definitely has some misguided belief systems, and if you believe the lies you are the one who ends up suffering with panic attacks, etc. It happens way to much, and I think it will help you to read this book as you begin your healing journey. I just want to say that's a lot of pressure on you, and that is a major cause for anxiety. You obviously feel you have to maintain a perfect image because of what you were taught. Whatever happened to, "I will boast about my weaknesses. Because when I am weak, He is strong."?:) Please understand that this pressure isn't coming from Jesus. He loves working through people who feel that they are weak:).
As far as panic attacks at work are concerned, it is true that for some reason, people don't often have as much sympathy for them as they do for other conditions. Although those of us with anxiety have many strengths and can actually use this program to see that the personality characteristics that can cause us anxiety can actually be used for good, when we tell the wrong people that we have anxiety, they may view us as completely weak and incompetent which is far from the truth. It really is their problem, but until we are strong enough not to care what they think, it is important for us not to disclose to the wrong people that we have anxiety. We have to learn who's safe and who's not safe. We just have to implement safe boundaries, and not telling everyone everything about us doesn't mean that we are lying. That's very different from lying about it and keeping it a secret from everyone because we are ashamed. Panic attacks are a response to stress. Some people get migraines when they are enduring stress and some people get panic attacks. It really is that simple, and you never have any reason to feel ashamed. Jesus Christ came to deliver us from any and all feelings of shame:).
My advice for getting through work is the following. 1. No matter what your situation, understand that you are making a choice to go to work. I understand that some people "have" to work, but there really is no such thing as that. No one "has" to work, but some people feel that in order to be a responsible adult, have money, take care of their family, etc., that they "want" to work because those things are important to them. Understand that you are making a choice as much as possible. 2. Understand that you are free to come and go as you please at work. You are not trapped at work. If you feel symptoms of panic, you can go to the bathroom and calm yourself down. You can get a drink of water, have a cup of non-caffeinated tea, listen to music on your ipod if that's allowed, etc. You can take a break and walk around outside. 3. You are NOT A FAILURE if you have a panic attack at work. And it doesn't have to ruin your entire day. Usually panic attacks last about fifteen minutes. If you have a panic attack at work, don't let fifteen minutes of anxiety make you feel like the entire day is ruined. 4. You don't have to lie to your co-workers or superiors. There are ways to describe panic attacks without lying. You can say, "I have an over-active autonomic nervous system, and I need to support my body in calming down by taking a break, going for a walk, etc." 5. Examine your job. Are you doing something you love? Is this a job that you really want, or is it something that you feel forced into? Is it something you love, but you feel like you have to be perfect at it and keep up a perfect image and that is ruining your pleasure at work? Are there issues with your bosses? I often felt like a child at work, and I felt like my bosses were my abusive parents. I had to examine my issues with my family of origin so that I would quit projecting onto my bosses. There's so much that it could be. I also recommend the book, "Boundaries" by the Christian psychologist Henry Cloud for dealing with your family and relationships at your work place.
Hope something I said helps. Do you live with your parents? If you are an adult, I think it's important for you to become as independent as possible from your father so you can make your own decisions regarding your well-being:) and healing from panic attacks:). We often give our parents too much power when we are adults. We often see them as God when they are just human beings who make as many mistakes as anyone. When you throw the minister issue into the mix, it adds a lot more pressure. God will help us deal with these issues in love and not shame. I wish you much success on your path to healing:). Congrat's on starting the program:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
My father-in-law is a prominent Baptist preacher, and I don't have many good things to say about him in how he conducts his personal life, although he has a stellar image-which is what is most important to him. Sadly, it looks like your father has fallen into the trap of doing whatever it takes, including lying and sinning, to keep up a perfect image. Doesn't make any sense, but it happens all of the time with my in-laws. Please read the Christian book, "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse". It doesn't mean that your father is some evil man who is purposely abusing you. However, he definitely has some misguided belief systems, and if you believe the lies you are the one who ends up suffering with panic attacks, etc. It happens way to much, and I think it will help you to read this book as you begin your healing journey. I just want to say that's a lot of pressure on you, and that is a major cause for anxiety. You obviously feel you have to maintain a perfect image because of what you were taught. Whatever happened to, "I will boast about my weaknesses. Because when I am weak, He is strong."?:) Please understand that this pressure isn't coming from Jesus. He loves working through people who feel that they are weak:).
As far as panic attacks at work are concerned, it is true that for some reason, people don't often have as much sympathy for them as they do for other conditions. Although those of us with anxiety have many strengths and can actually use this program to see that the personality characteristics that can cause us anxiety can actually be used for good, when we tell the wrong people that we have anxiety, they may view us as completely weak and incompetent which is far from the truth. It really is their problem, but until we are strong enough not to care what they think, it is important for us not to disclose to the wrong people that we have anxiety. We have to learn who's safe and who's not safe. We just have to implement safe boundaries, and not telling everyone everything about us doesn't mean that we are lying. That's very different from lying about it and keeping it a secret from everyone because we are ashamed. Panic attacks are a response to stress. Some people get migraines when they are enduring stress and some people get panic attacks. It really is that simple, and you never have any reason to feel ashamed. Jesus Christ came to deliver us from any and all feelings of shame:).
My advice for getting through work is the following. 1. No matter what your situation, understand that you are making a choice to go to work. I understand that some people "have" to work, but there really is no such thing as that. No one "has" to work, but some people feel that in order to be a responsible adult, have money, take care of their family, etc., that they "want" to work because those things are important to them. Understand that you are making a choice as much as possible. 2. Understand that you are free to come and go as you please at work. You are not trapped at work. If you feel symptoms of panic, you can go to the bathroom and calm yourself down. You can get a drink of water, have a cup of non-caffeinated tea, listen to music on your ipod if that's allowed, etc. You can take a break and walk around outside. 3. You are NOT A FAILURE if you have a panic attack at work. And it doesn't have to ruin your entire day. Usually panic attacks last about fifteen minutes. If you have a panic attack at work, don't let fifteen minutes of anxiety make you feel like the entire day is ruined. 4. You don't have to lie to your co-workers or superiors. There are ways to describe panic attacks without lying. You can say, "I have an over-active autonomic nervous system, and I need to support my body in calming down by taking a break, going for a walk, etc." 5. Examine your job. Are you doing something you love? Is this a job that you really want, or is it something that you feel forced into? Is it something you love, but you feel like you have to be perfect at it and keep up a perfect image and that is ruining your pleasure at work? Are there issues with your bosses? I often felt like a child at work, and I felt like my bosses were my abusive parents. I had to examine my issues with my family of origin so that I would quit projecting onto my bosses. There's so much that it could be. I also recommend the book, "Boundaries" by the Christian psychologist Henry Cloud for dealing with your family and relationships at your work place.
Hope something I said helps. Do you live with your parents? If you are an adult, I think it's important for you to become as independent as possible from your father so you can make your own decisions regarding your well-being:) and healing from panic attacks:). We often give our parents too much power when we are adults. We often see them as God when they are just human beings who make as many mistakes as anyone. When you throw the minister issue into the mix, it adds a lot more pressure. God will help us deal with these issues in love and not shame. I wish you much success on your path to healing:). Congrat's on starting the program:).
Take care,
luvpiggy