well, it's been awhile since I've posted any progress I've made in the last few weeks, so I decided it's time to do so.First of all, I MUST give God ALL THE GLORY in my road to healing
He has been so faithful and good to me!!! I've hit some pretty rocky points in this journey, over the past few months, but in those times, I've learned soooo much. I want to share with you all that I've learned through PRAYER and READING his WORD.First of all, again, it is important to stay in the word..afterall, this is GODS life instruction to us. I hear people say "if only we had a life instruction manual"..well, WE DO! It's the HOLY BIBLE..straight from the "creator" himself. In those words, you can find the resolution to EVERY problem this life hands us..relational problems, child rearing issues, depression, anxiety, health problems, household issues, financial issues, work related issues, etc. etc. etc..IT'S ALL THERE!!! I've spent my time reading and searching these very things and it's all in there! I PROMISE
I've been having bible studies with my mother everynight and everynight I've learned something new... What has gripped my heart and soul is learning the meaning and discription of TRUE LOVE and all of it's characteristics. And folks, I've learned that I DID NOT possess true love, or what the bible discribes as "PERFECT LOVE". Perfect love is to love your brotheren as you love yourself. Now, how can I do that when I've never learned to LOVE myself??? Okay, so now I've got some work to do. I decided to study the BIBLES meaning of LOVE. In 1 John 4:18 says, "Perfect love drives out ALL "FEAR" because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is NOT Made PERFECT in love". Punishment?? perhaps God is punishing me??? ABSOLUTELY NOT!! I am punishing myself by holding resentment and ALLOWING things to get to me...not possessing these true acts of LOVE (Wow, that opened my eyes to alot of my anxiety..I was humbled to say the least)
I went further on this subject of LOVE and found the characteristics of such. Scripture verse 1 Cor.13:4-8 "Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude. it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the TRUTH. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS". eeeeks, I have a problem is some of these areas,, I am NOT a very patient person, I am NOT always kind, I can get very jealousy, I get easily offended and I harbor resentment from past hurts. Again, my eyes have been opened and I'm feeling like I've got more work to do
So, now what do I DO??? God directed me to again, another passage.. 1 Cor. 13:10 "When perfection comes, The imperfect disappears"...ahhhhh there is still hope for little old me So, one afternoon my mother and father in law decided to give me a break from all of the children and I was left home alone to clean, relax, whatever I wanted to do. well, I decided to PRAY..I mean really pray, in the spirit. I knew I needed help on the subject of love, so I went to the source of LOVE himself. I started out worshipping him and than began to meditate. I poured out my heart and immediately began to feel his love and warmth around me. For the first time in years ALL my anxiety, uneasiness, depression DISAPPEARED! I felt such a calmness(hard to explain) but it Felt AWESOME. With each breath, I could feel all of these "feelings" disappear. When I got into that PERFECT place(presence of God) he spoke to me, yes HE SPOKE to my heart..He said, "I love you, you are doing well,Your marriage is okay, LOVE with all you have and work DILEGENTLY in ALL THAT YOU DO! You've already been healed of all of this stuff,Robin.."my his stripes you are HEALED". just BELIEVE it! BELIEVE!!!
OMG!!! you guys...I'm already healed, I just had to take that time before God and release ALL of my doubts and fears that cloud my mind and heart, in order to hear that still small voice. This was on Saturday of last week...I haven't been anxious since. SERIOUSLY.. I've got the energy to clean, play, etc. God basically told me in a nutshell...work hard at all you do, as if you were doing it for the Lord himself(which is biblically said in Col 3:23) Love with all you have..work to obtain ALL of it's(love) characteristics.. and BELIEVE in me! Let go and keep busy so you are not "in your head" so much.
So, that's my story I HAD to share with you all. I am so excited and THANKFUL! There is "THE LIGHT" at the end of the tunnel and that is JESUS!!!
Take care and God bless all of you!
Robin