Hi everyone,
I have a recent problem which has increased my anxiety and depression 3 fold lately and don’t know how to tackle it. I grew up Catholic, but hated going to church when I was younger. In college, I pretty much forgot about my faith. I have always thought there is something greater than me, but never really called it “God.” Recently, I dated (for 3 months) an Evangelical Christian. While the relationship did not work for many reasons, I would like to remain friends (which is actually what I thought we should have been from the beginning), but am having trouble dealing with the religious aspect of our friendship.
I tried going to services with him a couple times while we were dating, but never felt like it was “mine.” It actually made me feel really guilty and even more depressed because I couldn’t feel what all the people there were feeling. I just didn’t “get it.” I would almost break down in tears at service because I felt like I didn’t belong, or like I was in imposter. What is supposed to make me happy – God’s love and my salvation – only leaves me with a heavy heart and much sadness! I couldn’t even look him in the face afterward. He tried to explain God’s love for me and all that, but I still just don’t feel it. I have become obsessed with “feeling it” because I don’t like thinking that I can’t accomplish something – I am a perfectionist. I guess I believe in the tenants of Christianity (that Jesus is the son of God), but I have a hard time with fully embracing it and having “faith.” I think faith is the biggest struggle for me. I need concrete, tangible things and faith is neither!
Another problem I have is fearing all my other friends thinking I am crazy. They already think I am crazy for having dated an Evangelical. He is a great guy and I don’t think he is crazy, but others just can’t get past the religion factor. I love my friends, but I don’t want them to think that my ex “saved me” or whatever. I know if they reject me that they aren’t really my friends anyway, but I have a huge problem dealing with what people think of me. I also (being a perfectionist) don’t like the idea that my ex had to turn me on to God and explain it to me and that I need help “feeling it.” And I feel like if I am going to “be religious” I might as well go all out because there is no point in putting only a little effort into something. But going all out doesn’t seem to be working for me and my perfectionism is pushing me to keep trying. I like the non-denominational services because they don’t seem as stuffy as the Catholic church I grew up in, but I don’t believe everything they believe.
I have more anxiety about religion and its new place in my life than anything I have ever had before. How do I “get faith?” How do I determine if Christianity is really for me? How do I do it and not lose my friends? How do I not begrudge my ex for making me feel crazy? Any words of kindness or advice? Thank you.
Obsessed with understanding religion
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Fire Island
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Mon Nov 23, 2009 9:06 am
Hello,
My name is Jan and I am 52 years old. I just read your email about religion. I grew up in a large family and my parents were very stricked Catholics. And I believed such as they did until I was about 39 years old when my sister who also was Catholic became a Born Again Believer, and kept talking about it all the time. How to become saved etc. Of course I didnt understand any of that, but I wanted to prove her wrong, so I started reading the bible daily and found it to be extremely interesting, I couldnt stop reading it. But....but....it took me 3 years and I call those 3 years my calling out years as little by little I started to believe what the scriptures were saying. Then my husband and I went to Europe and I actually felt guilty because as I stood looking at the Notre Dame church there one Sunday I didnt have the desire to go to church there, and I always felt guilty when I didnt go to church on Sunday. Anyway when I got home to the States I found a little book called "What the Bible Teaches" that my sister had given me 3 years prior to our trip and I never even opened it until that one special day after our trip to Europe. I read it in about one hour and then called my sister to ask her where she got that little booklet, and she asked me why, and I said because I wanted to get more of them so I could give one to my Mom and my son. She asked me if I believed what that little book taught and I said "Yes" because I referenced it with the Bible and everything that was in there was in the bible. She said if I believed what that little book said that meant I was born again and saved. And I said to her. "I am"? My whole life changed from that day forward and I have been a born again on fire for the Lord Christian for 10 years now. Its incredible!!!!!!!!!!!! Things I used to want to do like watch Soap Operas I no longer wanted to do, instead I wanted to watch bible studies. I didnt want to do anything that was contrary to the bible. It wasnt me that decided that, it was the Lord working in and through me to change my heart of my old wretched ways. I cannot even step into the Catholic church anymore knowing that it is teaching a false gospel. I thought I was a good person before doing what I thought were good works for the Lord, but I didnt even know the Lord as a Catholic, I was doing good works because I was afraid of Hell if I didnt. Now I just want to do Gods will for my life, because I love Him and want to become more intimate with Him. I want to be in His presence and become more intimate with Him every day. I want to hear from Him on a daily basis. I am not perfect and never will be, on this side of heaven. But, I am perfect in Gods eyes, because He sent His only Son Jesus Christ to redeme me and anyone else that believes in His saving Grace. I did pray for the Lord to show me "The way, The truth, and the Life". and He did. I found out later that my younger sister prayed that same prayer and became a born again saved Christian that very same week. We lived in differant cities. Being Born again and saved is so much more differant than being a Catholic. They dont even compare. I to didnt like to go to church. Now I just want to be in Gods Word every single day. His Word is such a comfort to my heart. The Scriptures teach you everything you need to know about getting rid of fear, and anxiety. You do not need Lucinda course. I took Lucindas course before becoming a Christian and it didnt help me at all although it is scriptual, she just doesnt use Gods name or scripture verses in it.. But, now I have faith in God and His Word. He has healed me and set me free. When I get anxious now, I just remember Gods promises to be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and supplication and Thanksgiving make my request known to Him and the God of peace will guard my heart and my mind. And to think on only things that are lovely, true, honest, virtuous, praiseworthy, noble, of good report, because those things are from God. Satan is the author of lies. He (satan) comes only to steal, kill and destroy. (Jesus) came so that we may have life to the full, in abundance, until it over flows. God is sooooooo Awesome. I love Him with all my heart, all my soul and all my strength for saving me out of a religious system that leads people away from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I will pray for you. And ask God to show you the way the truth and the life. I know He will if you will only ask Him to. With Love in Christ, Jan JanKam56@aol.com
My name is Jan and I am 52 years old. I just read your email about religion. I grew up in a large family and my parents were very stricked Catholics. And I believed such as they did until I was about 39 years old when my sister who also was Catholic became a Born Again Believer, and kept talking about it all the time. How to become saved etc. Of course I didnt understand any of that, but I wanted to prove her wrong, so I started reading the bible daily and found it to be extremely interesting, I couldnt stop reading it. But....but....it took me 3 years and I call those 3 years my calling out years as little by little I started to believe what the scriptures were saying. Then my husband and I went to Europe and I actually felt guilty because as I stood looking at the Notre Dame church there one Sunday I didnt have the desire to go to church there, and I always felt guilty when I didnt go to church on Sunday. Anyway when I got home to the States I found a little book called "What the Bible Teaches" that my sister had given me 3 years prior to our trip and I never even opened it until that one special day after our trip to Europe. I read it in about one hour and then called my sister to ask her where she got that little booklet, and she asked me why, and I said because I wanted to get more of them so I could give one to my Mom and my son. She asked me if I believed what that little book taught and I said "Yes" because I referenced it with the Bible and everything that was in there was in the bible. She said if I believed what that little book said that meant I was born again and saved. And I said to her. "I am"? My whole life changed from that day forward and I have been a born again on fire for the Lord Christian for 10 years now. Its incredible!!!!!!!!!!!! Things I used to want to do like watch Soap Operas I no longer wanted to do, instead I wanted to watch bible studies. I didnt want to do anything that was contrary to the bible. It wasnt me that decided that, it was the Lord working in and through me to change my heart of my old wretched ways. I cannot even step into the Catholic church anymore knowing that it is teaching a false gospel. I thought I was a good person before doing what I thought were good works for the Lord, but I didnt even know the Lord as a Catholic, I was doing good works because I was afraid of Hell if I didnt. Now I just want to do Gods will for my life, because I love Him and want to become more intimate with Him. I want to be in His presence and become more intimate with Him every day. I want to hear from Him on a daily basis. I am not perfect and never will be, on this side of heaven. But, I am perfect in Gods eyes, because He sent His only Son Jesus Christ to redeme me and anyone else that believes in His saving Grace. I did pray for the Lord to show me "The way, The truth, and the Life". and He did. I found out later that my younger sister prayed that same prayer and became a born again saved Christian that very same week. We lived in differant cities. Being Born again and saved is so much more differant than being a Catholic. They dont even compare. I to didnt like to go to church. Now I just want to be in Gods Word every single day. His Word is such a comfort to my heart. The Scriptures teach you everything you need to know about getting rid of fear, and anxiety. You do not need Lucinda course. I took Lucindas course before becoming a Christian and it didnt help me at all although it is scriptual, she just doesnt use Gods name or scripture verses in it.. But, now I have faith in God and His Word. He has healed me and set me free. When I get anxious now, I just remember Gods promises to be anxious for nothing, but by prayer and supplication and Thanksgiving make my request known to Him and the God of peace will guard my heart and my mind. And to think on only things that are lovely, true, honest, virtuous, praiseworthy, noble, of good report, because those things are from God. Satan is the author of lies. He (satan) comes only to steal, kill and destroy. (Jesus) came so that we may have life to the full, in abundance, until it over flows. God is sooooooo Awesome. I love Him with all my heart, all my soul and all my strength for saving me out of a religious system that leads people away from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I will pray for you. And ask God to show you the way the truth and the life. I know He will if you will only ask Him to. With Love in Christ, Jan JanKam56@aol.com
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Guest
Dear Green Girl,
What good questions! I am an observant Christian in a traditional (not evangelical) denomination, and it's important to me to be very open to other's spiritual lives. (In fact, this is a central part of my personal belief system.) Good for you for experiencing something unfamiliar. We all should do that. Now, here's the thing: don't let someone else tell you what to feel or guilt you into feeling it. We all have different spiritual needs, genes, and experiences. I think it's WRONG to expect YOU to react like I would react, or like THEY ALL (whoever that is) react. Do not feel upset that you did not have the experience of your friend or of anyone else. God is the creative force in the universe. That force is loving and supportive and will approach you in a way YOU need and can process. And in due time - not at any specific time. If we keep reaching for God, eventually, God is there.
I do not want to bad-mouth anyone else's religion. But not all religions are perfect for all of us - I think that's why we have so many. I have learned there are GREAT varieties belief and some work for me and some don't. One thing about evangelicals is they believe in a moment of light, or "conversion" when you suddenly "get it." But not all Christians believe this! The opposite is the mystics, who believe God's presence is slowly and gradually unfolded to our understanding. There is nothing wrong with being this way! Maybe you just were meant to be a mystic - or some other term describing a different experience. Believe in yourself! You do not have to be like anyone else on earth to be wonderful!
What good questions! I am an observant Christian in a traditional (not evangelical) denomination, and it's important to me to be very open to other's spiritual lives. (In fact, this is a central part of my personal belief system.) Good for you for experiencing something unfamiliar. We all should do that. Now, here's the thing: don't let someone else tell you what to feel or guilt you into feeling it. We all have different spiritual needs, genes, and experiences. I think it's WRONG to expect YOU to react like I would react, or like THEY ALL (whoever that is) react. Do not feel upset that you did not have the experience of your friend or of anyone else. God is the creative force in the universe. That force is loving and supportive and will approach you in a way YOU need and can process. And in due time - not at any specific time. If we keep reaching for God, eventually, God is there.
I do not want to bad-mouth anyone else's religion. But not all religions are perfect for all of us - I think that's why we have so many. I have learned there are GREAT varieties belief and some work for me and some don't. One thing about evangelicals is they believe in a moment of light, or "conversion" when you suddenly "get it." But not all Christians believe this! The opposite is the mystics, who believe God's presence is slowly and gradually unfolded to our understanding. There is nothing wrong with being this way! Maybe you just were meant to be a mystic - or some other term describing a different experience. Believe in yourself! You do not have to be like anyone else on earth to be wonderful!
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Guest
Hi again. I forgot to tell you that when I first started reading "Christian" books before becoming saved. Satan kept whispering to me that they were not true etc. making me feel really confused and wrong for reading about the truth. So I can totally understand why you are feeling like you said in your email, like you didnt feel right when going to your boyfriends church. Satan does not want you to know that truth, because the truth is only going to set you free. Believe me, I went through that. I also read the book, " The Lies Woman Believe." I think It is by Nancy De Lomas. Its about all the lies satan has us woman believing about ourselves. God is all Good. God is Love. He is Agape Love, unconditional love. Any bad thought is NOT from God. Its from Satan the author of Lies. So I replace those bad thoughts with Gods truth. I hope that helps you. I love you and my hearts desire for you is to know the truth. Gods truth. And be saved. Jan 
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Guest
Hey greengirl! Thx for the post on here, and let me say this: you are certainly not alone, there's a great number of people who have similar experiences, and many reasons for them. It's really cool though that you're open-minded and that you're searching.
First of all, I too was raised Catholic (who wasn't, really?) lol, there seem to be a lot of us out there!
I think something that's helpful to remember is to try and engage God (however you see or experience that term) from where you're at right now, in this moment. I know what it's like to be standing in a church or place of worship and everyone knows each other, and perhaps they don't make much of an effort, and many times when I feel like I'm not 'feeling it.'
Think about this too - any sort of relationship takes time. Whenever you're getting to know someone, say one of your girlfriends, or perhaps your ex, it takes a bit of time to start feeling comfortable around them and to get casual. It takes even longer (for many of us it takes years to a lifetime) to learn about the other, it's a constant process.
It's the same with anything that requires practice, whether it's playing the piano or playing a sport, it's awkward and uncomfortable in the beginning, but once you get used to the practice it becomes part of you, it begins to flow.
So know that it's okay that you're not 'feeling it' or 'feeling God' right now. I think a lot of your anxiety in relation to this is certainly coming, as you've said, from the fact that this bothers you and you're trying to force something that perhaps, at least right now, shouldn't be forced.
There are also many types of churches, denominations and forms of practice, and unfortunately there are always those who believe their way is the 'most true,' but the fact is: don't let anyone tell you how you should handle your relationship with God, and don't ever let them speak for God.
Religion in the traditional term relates to the rituals and practices, and while those can help point the way and connect you, they are still human and man made, whereas God is transcendent. There's a saying in Buddhism that says something along the lines of: "Don't look at the finger pointing to the moon to know the moon. Look at the moon."
Perhaps you should start off small: think about the places you feel most comfortable and secure, what are those? Think of the times you feel most peaceful and relaxed and tranquil. Maybe just start by setting some time aside each day and try and just 'chat' with God. I know that can sound funny since he won't speak back as a human would. But spend some time in the silence, or perhaps listening to some relaxing chilled out music, or gregorian chant, and just try and think about God and what he/she/it means to you, and maybe ways God manifests himself through this world and the people in it. This may also help you to realize the 'tangible' aspects of spirituality that you seek. And just try and relax your mind, and to speak.
Gradually you'll get more comfortable and build a relationship, and you'll see what I mean.
As for your friends, you're absolutely right, hopefully no matter what you decide they'll stay with you. But I think the way they'd respect your desicion the most is if it was your own. So seek out you own knowledge and experience, and if you come to decide you'd like to openly call yourself a Christian, or go to a certain church, or what have you, let your friends know, and let them know that it was your decision and yours only.
I really admire the way you'd like to go fully into this if this is what you decide - though I feel you also need to be careful. You've said many times how you're a perfectionist, and the other reason you're having such a problem with faith and God however is because it's being forced I feel. You're really trying to make it happen, perhaps in the ways it's been defined to you by your boyfriend or his church. But there have been many forms of pratice and ways of connecting with God since the beginning, you just need to find your own. Some people enjoy nature, or traditional or non-traditional churches. Check into some of the mystics - Meister Eckhart and St. John of the Cross, they're Christians, but at times with some very different ideas.
Make sure this isn't so much about achieving, conquoring, or being a perfectionist, so much as truly connecting to spirituality and to God/Jesus.
And you know, God meets us where we're at, and we're all in totally different parts on our spiritual paths. Once you realize where you're at, I know you'll feel a lot more comfortable, and perhaps you'll find and connect with others who are in the same place.
There are many Christians out there unfortunately (and none of us are perfect anyhow) who judge, who are self-righteous, who worry more about "sin" and being "sinful" and morality, and they define themselves by what they don't do. Smoking, drinking, sex.
But what if we started defining ourselves by what we did do?
The greatest two commandments Jesus told his disciples when they asked them of him were this: to love God with all your heart, soul, and might, and to love your neighbor as yourself.
Everyone is our neighbor, the world is our neighbor, and this life can truly be a beautiful thing. So let your eyes and your focus be on those, and on the person of Jesus, and the way he treated others in his relations with them, and let that be your guide.
Let me know what you think, and I'd be happy to chat more sometime, take care greengirl!
-Matt
First of all, I too was raised Catholic (who wasn't, really?) lol, there seem to be a lot of us out there!
I think something that's helpful to remember is to try and engage God (however you see or experience that term) from where you're at right now, in this moment. I know what it's like to be standing in a church or place of worship and everyone knows each other, and perhaps they don't make much of an effort, and many times when I feel like I'm not 'feeling it.'
Think about this too - any sort of relationship takes time. Whenever you're getting to know someone, say one of your girlfriends, or perhaps your ex, it takes a bit of time to start feeling comfortable around them and to get casual. It takes even longer (for many of us it takes years to a lifetime) to learn about the other, it's a constant process.
It's the same with anything that requires practice, whether it's playing the piano or playing a sport, it's awkward and uncomfortable in the beginning, but once you get used to the practice it becomes part of you, it begins to flow.
So know that it's okay that you're not 'feeling it' or 'feeling God' right now. I think a lot of your anxiety in relation to this is certainly coming, as you've said, from the fact that this bothers you and you're trying to force something that perhaps, at least right now, shouldn't be forced.
There are also many types of churches, denominations and forms of practice, and unfortunately there are always those who believe their way is the 'most true,' but the fact is: don't let anyone tell you how you should handle your relationship with God, and don't ever let them speak for God.
Religion in the traditional term relates to the rituals and practices, and while those can help point the way and connect you, they are still human and man made, whereas God is transcendent. There's a saying in Buddhism that says something along the lines of: "Don't look at the finger pointing to the moon to know the moon. Look at the moon."
Perhaps you should start off small: think about the places you feel most comfortable and secure, what are those? Think of the times you feel most peaceful and relaxed and tranquil. Maybe just start by setting some time aside each day and try and just 'chat' with God. I know that can sound funny since he won't speak back as a human would. But spend some time in the silence, or perhaps listening to some relaxing chilled out music, or gregorian chant, and just try and think about God and what he/she/it means to you, and maybe ways God manifests himself through this world and the people in it. This may also help you to realize the 'tangible' aspects of spirituality that you seek. And just try and relax your mind, and to speak.
Gradually you'll get more comfortable and build a relationship, and you'll see what I mean.
As for your friends, you're absolutely right, hopefully no matter what you decide they'll stay with you. But I think the way they'd respect your desicion the most is if it was your own. So seek out you own knowledge and experience, and if you come to decide you'd like to openly call yourself a Christian, or go to a certain church, or what have you, let your friends know, and let them know that it was your decision and yours only.
I really admire the way you'd like to go fully into this if this is what you decide - though I feel you also need to be careful. You've said many times how you're a perfectionist, and the other reason you're having such a problem with faith and God however is because it's being forced I feel. You're really trying to make it happen, perhaps in the ways it's been defined to you by your boyfriend or his church. But there have been many forms of pratice and ways of connecting with God since the beginning, you just need to find your own. Some people enjoy nature, or traditional or non-traditional churches. Check into some of the mystics - Meister Eckhart and St. John of the Cross, they're Christians, but at times with some very different ideas.
Make sure this isn't so much about achieving, conquoring, or being a perfectionist, so much as truly connecting to spirituality and to God/Jesus.
And you know, God meets us where we're at, and we're all in totally different parts on our spiritual paths. Once you realize where you're at, I know you'll feel a lot more comfortable, and perhaps you'll find and connect with others who are in the same place.
There are many Christians out there unfortunately (and none of us are perfect anyhow) who judge, who are self-righteous, who worry more about "sin" and being "sinful" and morality, and they define themselves by what they don't do. Smoking, drinking, sex.
But what if we started defining ourselves by what we did do?
The greatest two commandments Jesus told his disciples when they asked them of him were this: to love God with all your heart, soul, and might, and to love your neighbor as yourself.
Everyone is our neighbor, the world is our neighbor, and this life can truly be a beautiful thing. So let your eyes and your focus be on those, and on the person of Jesus, and the way he treated others in his relations with them, and let that be your guide.
Let me know what you think, and I'd be happy to chat more sometime, take care greengirl!
-Matt
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Guest
Hi Matt,
I just read your email. It was very nice. But, it made me feel sad. There is only one way to God and that is through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. I was Catholic for 42 years. God saved me out of a religious system. All I can say is "Thank You Jesus" Praise the Lord. God is so Awesome!!!! I have been healed and set free. All the Glory to God!!!!! He is my Savior. He is the Way, The Truth, and the Life. I Love Him with all my heart all my soul and all my strength. I love reading the bible every single day. It is my comfort. God speaks to my heart. I am warmed with His presence. I once was lost, but now Im found, was blind but now I see. Amen I say to that. Jan
I just read your email. It was very nice. But, it made me feel sad. There is only one way to God and that is through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. I was Catholic for 42 years. God saved me out of a religious system. All I can say is "Thank You Jesus" Praise the Lord. God is so Awesome!!!! I have been healed and set free. All the Glory to God!!!!! He is my Savior. He is the Way, The Truth, and the Life. I Love Him with all my heart all my soul and all my strength. I love reading the bible every single day. It is my comfort. God speaks to my heart. I am warmed with His presence. I once was lost, but now Im found, was blind but now I see. Amen I say to that. Jan
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Guest
Everyone comes to God in their own way. Born-again is great. Some people come to God in a slower, more incremental way. That's great too.
Be yourself. If one way worked for everyone, God would only allow one way. But God allows many ways, because we are so different.
Be patient. All good things come to those who wait.
Be yourself. If one way worked for everyone, God would only allow one way. But God allows many ways, because we are so different.
Be patient. All good things come to those who wait.
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Guest
Born Again,
I tried to obstain from putting any of my personal information and beliefs at this point, save those that truly related, so that I could specifically address greengirl's points and issues she raised and to meet her where she's currently at. It's incredible where you were and where you are now, and God has done incredible things in your life it seems! It's very refreshing to see that.
While I made a joke in the beginning to lighten the air, I must say that when I was a Catholic I was quite devout and committed, as best as I could be and knew how, and I am currently not Catholic, though still a Christian. I had a falling away and a coming back, and a sort of 'born-again' experience myself too, and it was very exciting and has certainly changed my life!
I don't have one specific denomination that I'm associated with, but I am truly a believer and a Christian, and am active in a few different churches currently.
Jesus is incredible, and I believe in him very much and very deeply.
Thx for your response though, I just wanted to clear up any misconceptions or misunderstandings, though remember when reading my post that I'm trying to meet someone exactly where they're at, because that's all that we can do. It's great where you've come, and it's taken time, and it'll be the same here.
Thanks for your post too Lou Too, I've enjoyed reading what you've written
Take care everyone and God bless!
I tried to obstain from putting any of my personal information and beliefs at this point, save those that truly related, so that I could specifically address greengirl's points and issues she raised and to meet her where she's currently at. It's incredible where you were and where you are now, and God has done incredible things in your life it seems! It's very refreshing to see that.
While I made a joke in the beginning to lighten the air, I must say that when I was a Catholic I was quite devout and committed, as best as I could be and knew how, and I am currently not Catholic, though still a Christian. I had a falling away and a coming back, and a sort of 'born-again' experience myself too, and it was very exciting and has certainly changed my life!
I don't have one specific denomination that I'm associated with, but I am truly a believer and a Christian, and am active in a few different churches currently.
Jesus is incredible, and I believe in him very much and very deeply.
Thx for your response though, I just wanted to clear up any misconceptions or misunderstandings, though remember when reading my post that I'm trying to meet someone exactly where they're at, because that's all that we can do. It's great where you've come, and it's taken time, and it'll be the same here.
Thanks for your post too Lou Too, I've enjoyed reading what you've written
Take care everyone and God bless!
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Guest
Thank you all for your responses. I can take something from all of them. And it helps to know that I am not alone in my struggle.
Born Again - thank you for sharing that it took 3 years for you to find your place. I know I need to be more patient and let it come naturally, but that is something that is very difficult for me.
Lou - Thank you for opening my eyes to the creativity of God and that there may be other ways he will make himself known to me. But that in fact he will be there for me in some way. I feel like my ex has been telling me that his way is the only way and I honestly don't think that is the way for me. But I have a hard time choosing between all the different religions. I will keep up the search though and believe in myself as you encourage.
Matt - You are amazing! Your post made me feel so much better. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Part of my frustration is that I understand things quickly and this is something that is taking longer than normal for me to discover. I need patience and I need to not make it a job, but a discovery, a journey perhaps. I will keep talking to God and not force it. Thanks again!
And I will have to check out the mystics. It sounds like it may appeal to me. It sounds like they have a nature connection? If so, that is great. I am a nature fanatic! I spend most of my free time kayaking, hiking, biking, skiing, camping, backpacking - if it is outdoors, I do it! That is where I most feel connected to a higher power. The beauty and awesomeness of nature humbles me to my core.
Thanks for being there for me, all of you!
GreenGirl
Born Again - thank you for sharing that it took 3 years for you to find your place. I know I need to be more patient and let it come naturally, but that is something that is very difficult for me.
Lou - Thank you for opening my eyes to the creativity of God and that there may be other ways he will make himself known to me. But that in fact he will be there for me in some way. I feel like my ex has been telling me that his way is the only way and I honestly don't think that is the way for me. But I have a hard time choosing between all the different religions. I will keep up the search though and believe in myself as you encourage.
Matt - You are amazing! Your post made me feel so much better. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Part of my frustration is that I understand things quickly and this is something that is taking longer than normal for me to discover. I need patience and I need to not make it a job, but a discovery, a journey perhaps. I will keep talking to God and not force it. Thanks again!
And I will have to check out the mystics. It sounds like it may appeal to me. It sounds like they have a nature connection? If so, that is great. I am a nature fanatic! I spend most of my free time kayaking, hiking, biking, skiing, camping, backpacking - if it is outdoors, I do it! That is where I most feel connected to a higher power. The beauty and awesomeness of nature humbles me to my core.
Thanks for being there for me, all of you!
GreenGirl
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Guest
Thx for your response GreenGirl! You made me feel great too, your words are very kind! I'm just really glad that I could help you, and that we all could be there for you. I really think you'll connect with the mystics, you seem like you're quite intelligent from what you've been writing, so I'm sure they will resonate with you. Some of them were very much connected with nature, or at least would write about it at times, and I too really enjoy being outdoors. I'm in love with snowboarding, and a big part of it is the experience you get when you're up in the mountains out in nature, it's very transcendent. May God bless you on your way, and keep in touch