were is God?
JUst a few months ago i was loving life, I was loving work, loving eatig right, exercising, free time, spending time with my family I Was finally were i always wanted to be and now i feel nothing but sorrowcomplete and utter sorrow. The peace that God can offer is clouded by my hearts desire to be free of the prison i feel serving him puts me in. Though people tell me everyday that he loves me i don't believe it if he did my joy would be restored satan would not have this power over me. When it first started i dropped everything watching t.v, went to church every service, prayed, read my bible, read all books retaqining to the bible, listened to preaching on the radio and it was lifting this heavy sorrow and then suddenly i heard a sermon and the weight of serving God is too big i want to run. I have no were to go. I just want my joy back. I am so hurting as i am sure most of us are if we are using this website.
Lael
I am so sorry for your sorrow and trials. I do understand where you are coming from. I too am a religious person and always want God in my life. When I was suffering so greatly with my anxiety, I was truly having a hard time functioning, I had to seperate myself from reading the Bible and even going to church, for a time. I ofcourse kept praying, but I had to give myself time to heal from this condition. We are such sensitive people and sometimes, yes just a sermon can put us in the depths of despair. God does love us and he understands us better than we understand ourselves. He understands this condition and he knows it takes time to heal. I hope and pray you do have the program and are giving it your all. It will help you so much. I hope this has helped in someway. I will pray for you and I wish you the very best.
Your Friend
Angla
I am so sorry for your sorrow and trials. I do understand where you are coming from. I too am a religious person and always want God in my life. When I was suffering so greatly with my anxiety, I was truly having a hard time functioning, I had to seperate myself from reading the Bible and even going to church, for a time. I ofcourse kept praying, but I had to give myself time to heal from this condition. We are such sensitive people and sometimes, yes just a sermon can put us in the depths of despair. God does love us and he understands us better than we understand ourselves. He understands this condition and he knows it takes time to heal. I hope and pray you do have the program and are giving it your all. It will help you so much. I hope this has helped in someway. I will pray for you and I wish you the very best.
Your Friend
Angla
Maybe this will be helpful, maybe it won't. I sense that my concept of God is quite different from yours, but here goes...
It's unworkable for me to believe that there's an external God looking down on me from above and controlling what happens in the world and demanding that I do/don't do certain things to attain his favor.
For me, God lives within and I believe that as humans, we all have the capacity to experience God. I experience God in people, nature, etc. I experience God when someone smiles at me or when someone lets me in front of them in line at the grocery store. All God requires of me is to live a compassionate life. God does not prevent bad things from happening to me, or cause them to happen if I'm not 'being good'. It's much less stressful for me to believe that way. I wish it hadn't taken me 35 years to come around to that way of believing, but since I did, my world makes much more sense.
It's unworkable for me to believe that there's an external God looking down on me from above and controlling what happens in the world and demanding that I do/don't do certain things to attain his favor.
For me, God lives within and I believe that as humans, we all have the capacity to experience God. I experience God in people, nature, etc. I experience God when someone smiles at me or when someone lets me in front of them in line at the grocery store. All God requires of me is to live a compassionate life. God does not prevent bad things from happening to me, or cause them to happen if I'm not 'being good'. It's much less stressful for me to believe that way. I wish it hadn't taken me 35 years to come around to that way of believing, but since I did, my world makes much more sense.
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shootingstarz
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:46 pm
Hi Iael,
Why are you in this prision serving him? That is not his will and promise for us. What has caused that? I have experienced an intensity similiar on my spiritual journey when I was trying to do EVERYTHING and listen to EVERYONE and the right preachers etc and do all the right things pray and be in the word and confess and repent and warefare and go to service every Sunday. I realized that I was approaching my spirituality and relationship with God using my perfectionistic/obsessive ways, behaviors and thinking patterns and I was trying to keep it all in a nice NEAT box. I tired myself out and realized that I was also doing a lot of "works of the flesh" which ususlly gets us into trouble. So I realized I was actually pushing him away and distancing myself from him and I do believe the enemy was using this "good" thing in that way. My thinking and behaviors were tainted about the whole thing and I believe that is where the enemy was working. So I now know that for me serving God isn't about all those things and it doesn't say all that in the word either. Yes we do have some responsibilities however we are to find our rest in him, lean not on our own understanding and stay out of the works of the flesh and RECEIVE his GRACE and MERCY (his unmerited favor and blessing)(which means we do nothing except take him as our savior) So I started to practice receiving his grace and mercy and being still and knowing that he his God. Psalm 37:7 Be still and rest in the Lord;wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon him.
I am not sure what the "prision" is or what has happened but he does not intend for you to feel that you are in prision serving him. Serving him could be just be sitting quietly listening to praise and worship and just being with him. Song of Songs 2:14 Oh get up my fair and beautiful lover come to me come, my shy and modest dove leave your seclusion, comeout in the open. Let me see your face, let me hear your voice. For your voice is soothing. He is just longing for us in that way! Just longing for us. He wants to bless us and He does not want us in pain or prision. Sometimes we create that pain or prision somehow ( again I am not sure what has happened for you)
Iael ~ I hope this helps you in some small or big way. God is right there with you just waiting for you. He will meet you right where you are, right where you are. Maybe just doing something simple that makes you feel his presence. I know for me nature and worship music are huge for me to get into his presence and feel peace or be able to just cry out to him. Cry out to him. Tell him all that you are feeling. He loves you! Philippians 4:4-6 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Know I am thinking of you and just praying he will reveal himself to you in your pain.
Blessings,
K
Why are you in this prision serving him? That is not his will and promise for us. What has caused that? I have experienced an intensity similiar on my spiritual journey when I was trying to do EVERYTHING and listen to EVERYONE and the right preachers etc and do all the right things pray and be in the word and confess and repent and warefare and go to service every Sunday. I realized that I was approaching my spirituality and relationship with God using my perfectionistic/obsessive ways, behaviors and thinking patterns and I was trying to keep it all in a nice NEAT box. I tired myself out and realized that I was also doing a lot of "works of the flesh" which ususlly gets us into trouble. So I realized I was actually pushing him away and distancing myself from him and I do believe the enemy was using this "good" thing in that way. My thinking and behaviors were tainted about the whole thing and I believe that is where the enemy was working. So I now know that for me serving God isn't about all those things and it doesn't say all that in the word either. Yes we do have some responsibilities however we are to find our rest in him, lean not on our own understanding and stay out of the works of the flesh and RECEIVE his GRACE and MERCY (his unmerited favor and blessing)(which means we do nothing except take him as our savior) So I started to practice receiving his grace and mercy and being still and knowing that he his God. Psalm 37:7 Be still and rest in the Lord;wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon him.
I am not sure what the "prision" is or what has happened but he does not intend for you to feel that you are in prision serving him. Serving him could be just be sitting quietly listening to praise and worship and just being with him. Song of Songs 2:14 Oh get up my fair and beautiful lover come to me come, my shy and modest dove leave your seclusion, comeout in the open. Let me see your face, let me hear your voice. For your voice is soothing. He is just longing for us in that way! Just longing for us. He wants to bless us and He does not want us in pain or prision. Sometimes we create that pain or prision somehow ( again I am not sure what has happened for you)
Iael ~ I hope this helps you in some small or big way. God is right there with you just waiting for you. He will meet you right where you are, right where you are. Maybe just doing something simple that makes you feel his presence. I know for me nature and worship music are huge for me to get into his presence and feel peace or be able to just cry out to him. Cry out to him. Tell him all that you are feeling. He loves you! Philippians 4:4-6 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Know I am thinking of you and just praying he will reveal himself to you in your pain.
Blessings,
K
Iael, I was hoping you would have responded back to some of these good posts. I hope you will let us know how you're doing and that you are better.
I'm sure most of us have doubts at times and wonder where God is. Even Jesus said, "My God, my God, WHY hast thou forsaken me?" I start having those thoughts and then I remind myself of Romans 8:28 "ALL things work together for those who love God and are called according to His purpose." GOD HAS A PURPOSE FOR YOU so don't be discouraged ok?
I remember crying out to God and saying, "ALL things work for good?????? How God is this anx/dep and bi-polar working for good? Now I see it. If I hadn't been diagnosed with bi-polar several years back and gone thru all the stuff I did how could I relate with others in similar situations without realizing what was really wrong with me. God used this program and people to help me realize I'm not alone. God showed me others who got help and how I too could receive that help. You can too. God has NOT abandoned you. Cry out to your God! He's using us to help you. Please talk to us.
I'm sure most of us have doubts at times and wonder where God is. Even Jesus said, "My God, my God, WHY hast thou forsaken me?" I start having those thoughts and then I remind myself of Romans 8:28 "ALL things work together for those who love God and are called according to His purpose." GOD HAS A PURPOSE FOR YOU so don't be discouraged ok?
I remember crying out to God and saying, "ALL things work for good?????? How God is this anx/dep and bi-polar working for good? Now I see it. If I hadn't been diagnosed with bi-polar several years back and gone thru all the stuff I did how could I relate with others in similar situations without realizing what was really wrong with me. God used this program and people to help me realize I'm not alone. God showed me others who got help and how I too could receive that help. You can too. God has NOT abandoned you. Cry out to your God! He's using us to help you. Please talk to us.
i just want to say thank you to all. shootingstarz your post was exspecially helpful 2 me i am stuck in a cycle everyone i know says that it is me telling me that i must do this and that instead of rest in God's promises and in his word. I just feel so detached and i keep it that way so that i don't have anxity. yes do pray for me i think i lost what should be my first love. I cannot exspress how helpful it is to have so many people respond and care. THANK YOU.
I think there are many, many people that are so afraid sometimes (myself included) to try to relate to a God that demands so much of us to try and have a good life. We cannot relate to Him because of the people and pressures put on us at a very young age to get to know Him in their own way.
Don't get me wrong, I believe that my parents, the churches I attended and the scriptures I read were all for good, but the older that I get the more I understand that God reaches out to us separately and much differently from person to person.
We see anxiety, stress, insomnia, panic and depression as afflictions put upon us by a vengeful being (be it God or Satan). We are left with nothing and scramble to read up on His words and pray to Him to take away these terrible feelings of fear and despair.
My feeling is that God, our God, is love. Love is not mysterious, vengeful or wrathful. It just is. When we are loved, we are also put forth to have lessons to let us understand and appreciate that love IF WE CHOOSE.
The Choice is God's gift to us. We can choose to see a greater good, or we can choose to see this life with all our hurts as some sort of cosmic accident. I am working on choosing to see the greater good.
God does not require me to beat my head against a wall to gain his favor. He puts forth a challenge with this anxiety to gain a new, deeper understanding of my own mind, my thoughts and how they have effectively brought me down this dark road of fear and unsettling.
The good news to me is that God also gives me the knowledge and understanding to change my own mind. I can read, I can ask questions to my doctor, therapist, family and friends to see how they also deal with their own anxiety. I have also been given this gift of finding a program that can literally retrain my own brain to short-circuit fear responses and turn towards a happier life with no panic episodes, low anxiety and high self-esteem.
Along the way, I can reach out to others to encourage them along on their own journey. I can listen, I can now relate and my heart is softened. After years of practicing the habits that this program teaches, then the idea of God becomes clear to me. He does not want us to hurt with our anxiety and depression. He wants us to learn to turn away from the helplessness and use our own minds to heal ourselves. He wants us to tell our story to others to encourage them to heal. He wants us to feel more compassion to everyone. He wants us to feel...love.
That is God that I know. His way is a mystery to me, but I walk with Him knowing that none of us were ever, or will ever be forsaken.
I truly wish everyone here peace in their hearts and minds.
Eric
Don't get me wrong, I believe that my parents, the churches I attended and the scriptures I read were all for good, but the older that I get the more I understand that God reaches out to us separately and much differently from person to person.
We see anxiety, stress, insomnia, panic and depression as afflictions put upon us by a vengeful being (be it God or Satan). We are left with nothing and scramble to read up on His words and pray to Him to take away these terrible feelings of fear and despair.
My feeling is that God, our God, is love. Love is not mysterious, vengeful or wrathful. It just is. When we are loved, we are also put forth to have lessons to let us understand and appreciate that love IF WE CHOOSE.
The Choice is God's gift to us. We can choose to see a greater good, or we can choose to see this life with all our hurts as some sort of cosmic accident. I am working on choosing to see the greater good.
God does not require me to beat my head against a wall to gain his favor. He puts forth a challenge with this anxiety to gain a new, deeper understanding of my own mind, my thoughts and how they have effectively brought me down this dark road of fear and unsettling.
The good news to me is that God also gives me the knowledge and understanding to change my own mind. I can read, I can ask questions to my doctor, therapist, family and friends to see how they also deal with their own anxiety. I have also been given this gift of finding a program that can literally retrain my own brain to short-circuit fear responses and turn towards a happier life with no panic episodes, low anxiety and high self-esteem.
Along the way, I can reach out to others to encourage them along on their own journey. I can listen, I can now relate and my heart is softened. After years of practicing the habits that this program teaches, then the idea of God becomes clear to me. He does not want us to hurt with our anxiety and depression. He wants us to learn to turn away from the helplessness and use our own minds to heal ourselves. He wants us to tell our story to others to encourage them to heal. He wants us to feel more compassion to everyone. He wants us to feel...love.
That is God that I know. His way is a mystery to me, but I walk with Him knowing that none of us were ever, or will ever be forsaken.
I truly wish everyone here peace in their hearts and minds.
Eric
[I]Life's a voyage that's homeward bound....Herman Melville[/I]
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Alone in a Crowd
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:14 am
I know that God has not gone anywhere, but I have. I have totally withdrawn from life and God. I used to feel renewed and at peace when I communicated with God, attended services, and shared a fellowship with other believers. I stopped attending services, and have now reached the point that I don't even know how to talk to God. I feel overwhelming guilt and responsibility for this loss, but I can't seem to "drag" myself from the depression, anxiety and despair that I feel. Please pray for me.