Advice please

Jewell · Post by **Jewell** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 2:20 am

Hey all! Im just having some horrible feelings today. I am really trying with everything, and I no one of my main things is my thoughts, and not feeding into the lies. I had a lot of anxiety yesterday then I talkked to my boyfriend who just went on about this show he watched and about this girl on it and guy, but of course I magnify and only hear what I want to hear. As he talked my stomache turned ten I got angry and let him go. I feel I try to control him bor get him back by not talking to him and I so don;t want to do that I love himso much and now tosay I have carried these negative emotions wth my and feel sck and drained I wanna screm. I really did not ever no where to start wit my feelings and emotions, how to talk and process things but as I was writing this I got a revelation that I dont have toi no where everything came form or that my painm is from one big thing, but many small ones and I dont have to deal with it all at once but little by little as it comes....yeah a light bulb just went off. had to share! IThere is always soething positive out of bad if we will look. Anyway i just don't want to abuse him ort hurt him and have pre concieved ideas when tere is nothing going on I am just carring a lot of hurt still and almost want to tell him we need to be apart so we can both grow in the Lord., which I actually do every other week, lol. He is a new christian and I \now I need to give him space to grow. I am just all messed up nside right now my insides are burning. I hate to feel this but pain is the process of healing right?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:04 am

Does he know you're doing the program? If not, tell him. It may help him understand how you're trying to get the help you need. I don't know if it would help you to separate for a while or not, only you can decide that. Make sure he understands its not because of him but because you're working on yourself and while doing that more uglies may come out for a while. The minute you get any pain anywhere get the relaxation CD and take a time out. Use it a couple times every day, regardless. I wish you well. Things will get better as you work the program and you'll feel better too.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 01, 2008 10:21 am

Your posting is an encouragement for me - sometimes we need to let "IT" out and then we can understand!?! I feel for your bad day, I think your boyfriend didn't KNOW what you needed. I do not communicate my needs (thots) enuf. Sometimes we don't know what we need but you can say "I need more of your attentiveness at this moment." Even share how "here" you were "relieved" because you poured out your heart, "can I just let out my feelings to you? -even though I don't know why I have them." Also, there's nothing wrong with you learning to be the "NEW you" while your dating him - especially if this is to be your future husband! This time could actually be good for both of you; and mature you both. If he is young in Faith encourage him to be with (relate to)Godly men (a men's Bible study would be great). It may sound trite: Pray and pray and then some more, God will give you the wisdom you seek, He WANTS to! And the Christian life is a journey, and going thru this program is a mini-journey, step by step progressing...include (share with)those in your sphere on this journey.