Blessings,
Dawn
Urge to RUN out of church!
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Guest
Hey Dawn -
I too have had this experience at very heightened times of negativity in the church... I remember three occassions. The first two, I felt as if the Lord wanted me to stay. The last two times these churches were very over bearing, the ministers were very harsh and critical... it was tooooooo scarry. ... During the last one, I sensed the Holy Spirit's presence just holding me there in the pew... after doing my deep breathing and other things for panic attacks and struggling sitting there thinking I wanted to go....so finallyI calmed down and said "Lord if you want me to stay, I will"... then He spoke "Do you like this [the preaching, the church, the atmosphere]?" and I said "no". and He said "well, you can leave"...the anointing lifted at that moment and I got up right in the midst of the sermon.... and left... there was even another family that left just before I did...
Afterwards, I sensed that the Lord was happy with my decision to continue my search of a church that practiced the love of God and moved in the giftings of the Holy Spirit... It was almost like I had finally broke through the misperception and fear that was keeping me in bondage in institutions as such just because they were a "church".... I was so relieved and I felt that it was through this program and the Lord that I was able to make a wise decision to move-on and say this is not for me and it's ok...
I have found a church that fits with my beliefs that God is Love and He desires to save, heal and deliver... I am happy with my selection and I do not have an overexpectation that it is a perfect church.... I am still a work in progress and I know we all are...
It is my prayer that you will find a church that you and your husband and the Holy Spirit are in agreement with.
Thanks for sharing,
I too have had this experience at very heightened times of negativity in the church... I remember three occassions. The first two, I felt as if the Lord wanted me to stay. The last two times these churches were very over bearing, the ministers were very harsh and critical... it was tooooooo scarry. ... During the last one, I sensed the Holy Spirit's presence just holding me there in the pew... after doing my deep breathing and other things for panic attacks and struggling sitting there thinking I wanted to go....so finallyI calmed down and said "Lord if you want me to stay, I will"... then He spoke "Do you like this [the preaching, the church, the atmosphere]?" and I said "no". and He said "well, you can leave"...the anointing lifted at that moment and I got up right in the midst of the sermon.... and left... there was even another family that left just before I did...
Afterwards, I sensed that the Lord was happy with my decision to continue my search of a church that practiced the love of God and moved in the giftings of the Holy Spirit... It was almost like I had finally broke through the misperception and fear that was keeping me in bondage in institutions as such just because they were a "church".... I was so relieved and I felt that it was through this program and the Lord that I was able to make a wise decision to move-on and say this is not for me and it's ok...
I have found a church that fits with my beliefs that God is Love and He desires to save, heal and deliver... I am happy with my selection and I do not have an overexpectation that it is a perfect church.... I am still a work in progress and I know we all are...
It is my prayer that you will find a church that you and your husband and the Holy Spirit are in agreement with.
Thanks for sharing,
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sleeplessMom
- Posts: 81
- Joined: Tue Aug 22, 2006 2:16 pm
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Guest
Just a historical point: followers of the resurrected Jesus (Christians) began worshiping on Sunday to celebrate the discovery, early on Sunday morning, that he had been raised from the dead. He died on the Sabbath (Friday), so his followers could not tend to the burial rites which would make them ritually unclean, until the Sabbath was over. That is why, very early on Sunday, as soon as the sun was coming up and the Sabbath was over, the women were rushing to the tomb -- to perform the traditional burial rituals. Instead, they discovered the tomb was empty: Christ has risen! Every Sunday morning now is actually a "mini-Easter" celebration. Some refer to Sunday as "the eighth day" -- a day unique to all others, because God did a totally new thing, vanquishing sin and death by raising Christ from the dead.It seems that people would rather be obedient to their own ideas of what is right or best. I see this with the keeping of Sunday rather than the seventh-day Sabbath.
Respectfully,
MamaRev
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Guest
Originally posted by MamaRev:Just a historical point: followers of the resurrected Jesus (Christians) began worshiping on Sunday to celebrate the discovery, early on Sunday morning, that he had been raised from the dead. He died on the Sabbath (Friday), so his followers could not tend to the burial rites which would make them ritually unclean, until the Sabbath was over. That is why, very early on Sunday, as soon as the sun was coming up and the Sabbath was over, the women were rushing to the tomb -- to perform the traditional burial rituals. Instead, they discovered the tomb was empty: Christ has risen! Every Sunday morning now is actually a "mini-Easter" celebration. Some refer to Sunday as "the eighth day" -- a day unique to all others, because God did a totally new thing, vanquishing sin and death by raising Christ from the dead.It seems that people would rather be obedient to their own ideas of what is right or best. I see this with the keeping of Sunday rather than the seventh-day Sabbath.
Respectfully,
MamaRev
A historical point is not a Biblical point. Your comment helps establish my point that man tends to want to do things his way instead of God's way. Sin entered the world because of disobedience to God. "There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are ways of death.--Pr.16:25. Sure the Bible speaks of the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus, but it does not say anything about His followers worshiping on the day of His resurrection. By the way, Jesus did not die on the sabbath as you pointed out. He died on the sixeth day (Friday) about 3:00 PM. This was before sundown, which would start the sabbath. I find it interesting that Jesus kept the sabbath in the sense that He rested in death. The women who were going to prepare Christ's body also rested because of the sabbath. "And they returned, and prepared spices and ointments; and rested the sabbath day according to the commandment."--Lk. 23:56. Notice that they did this according to the commandment. Jesus said, "If ye love me, keep my commandments."--John 14:15. The women could have reasoned that in this situation they could surely tend to the body of Jesus, but they simply knew that it would not be what He wanted. This is why it would not make any sense to trade in the sabbath for another day. Jesus did not say anything about doing this. Even if people did something in an effort to celebrate on the resurrection day, why would they do away with the sabbath? In Matthew 24:20 Jesus, in speaking of tribulation to come, spoke in reference to the sabbath as something that would still be around long after His time here on earth. In Isaiah 66:22,23 it speaks of the sabbath still existing in the new heavens and the new earth. You said, "Every Sunday morning is actually a 'mini-Easter' celebration." This once a year Easter is not Biblical and there is no evidence of it having started as a religious day among Christians. Easter, originated in paganism and the early church got involved through compromise in wanting to fit in with the ways of the world just like a lot of Christian still do today. As I said before, "God says, "Remember," but man says, "Wait!... I have a better idea." Worship has always been an important issue between man and God and is definitely going to prove a deciding issue in these last days of earth's history. Revelation 14:7 says, "Fear God, and give glory to him; for the hour of his judgment is come: and worship him that made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and the fountains of waters." Can you see how this coincides with the sabbath commandment in worshipping God as Creator? "For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth , the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hollowed it."--Ex. 20:11.
I remember when a young lady, who knew I was a sabath keeper, had questioned me in a curious manner in regard to the sabbath. I briefly told her about some of the various aspects of the sabbath including how it was one of the Ten commandments. Even though I had not presented to her any issues of salvation, she ended by saying, "It doesn't matter what day I worship on as long as I know I'm saved." I was a recently new Christian at the time and was quite baffled by her statement that ended our conversation. If I had the opportunity again I think I would ask, in a gentle and kind way to help stimulate some thinking, "What is it that you are saved from?" As I had pointed out earlier, sin is the transgression of the law and the wages of sin is death. Jesus does not save us in our sins, He saves us from our sins. "And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins."--Matt. 1:21. I believe that we all need to keep praying and studying God's word and simply choose this day who we will serve.
God bless!
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Guest
Just an update to my original post:
I went to a wedding at church this weekend. The same church I'm having the problems with...with the same people...and guess what? No panic attack. No desire to run out screaming. No problems. The next day (Sunday) I was teaching Sunday School - and I started getting that anxiety before I even left the house! During the class I was fine, but afterwards there was no way I was going to church (preaching).
What do you think is up with that?
Thanks,
Dawn
I went to a wedding at church this weekend. The same church I'm having the problems with...with the same people...and guess what? No panic attack. No desire to run out screaming. No problems. The next day (Sunday) I was teaching Sunday School - and I started getting that anxiety before I even left the house! During the class I was fine, but afterwards there was no way I was going to church (preaching).
What do you think is up with that?
Thanks,
Dawn
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Guest
I've been having the urge NOT to go to church. All of a sudden there's this social phobia, and I'd rather stay home and watch tv preachers.
I think thoughts like "I don't have anything in common with those people" or "They have their 'in' groups and I don't fit in" and "They know what's happened to me over the last year." Like all groups there is gossip, and I don't feel like I have the right heart to go in. It's like I'm judging these people without giving them the benefit of the doubt.
The anxiety starts on Saturday and by Sunday, I can't hardly stand it. I intend to start Sunday School each week and talk myself out of it- I'm so scared I'll say something to look dumb or foolish.
I'm yearning for Christian fellowship and hearing the preacher preach, but I don't want to go.... Help!
I think thoughts like "I don't have anything in common with those people" or "They have their 'in' groups and I don't fit in" and "They know what's happened to me over the last year." Like all groups there is gossip, and I don't feel like I have the right heart to go in. It's like I'm judging these people without giving them the benefit of the doubt.
The anxiety starts on Saturday and by Sunday, I can't hardly stand it. I intend to start Sunday School each week and talk myself out of it- I'm so scared I'll say something to look dumb or foolish.
I'm yearning for Christian fellowship and hearing the preacher preach, but I don't want to go.... Help!
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Guest
Bev,
I am totally with you on this one. I'm in session 12 and Lucinda was talking about deciding whether you are not going because you are using your anxiety as an excuse or because you really don't want to go. I think I really don't want to go...and then that makes me feel guilty.
The people at my church are (in my opinion) for the most part (meaning - not all of them, but most!) superficial - clothes, the right "Christian-speak" words, flattery, etc. are very important to them. I want to go someplace where I am encouraged to participate, but not guilted into it! I guess that place would be...heaven?
I don't think that Christian churches (I don't know about other religions - so I'm only speaking from what I have experienced) often times don't deal well with anxiety and depression...like it's a weakness and something not to be talked about...like the person with the problem is just "not spiritual enough" - and that makes us (or at least me!) feel worse!
I wish I had the answer, but I'm going through the same things!
On a happier note - do you watch Joel Osteen on TV? I'd love to find a church with a preacher like him...he is so positive and upbeat and encouraging! I'm ready to go out and do good things and be positive and a better Christian witness after I watch him preach.
Blessings,
Dawn
I am totally with you on this one. I'm in session 12 and Lucinda was talking about deciding whether you are not going because you are using your anxiety as an excuse or because you really don't want to go. I think I really don't want to go...and then that makes me feel guilty.
The people at my church are (in my opinion) for the most part (meaning - not all of them, but most!) superficial - clothes, the right "Christian-speak" words, flattery, etc. are very important to them. I want to go someplace where I am encouraged to participate, but not guilted into it! I guess that place would be...heaven?
I don't think that Christian churches (I don't know about other religions - so I'm only speaking from what I have experienced) often times don't deal well with anxiety and depression...like it's a weakness and something not to be talked about...like the person with the problem is just "not spiritual enough" - and that makes us (or at least me!) feel worse!
I wish I had the answer, but I'm going through the same things!
On a happier note - do you watch Joel Osteen on TV? I'd love to find a church with a preacher like him...he is so positive and upbeat and encouraging! I'm ready to go out and do good things and be positive and a better Christian witness after I watch him preach.
Blessings,
Dawn
Dawn,
I love Joel Osteen. I just order several of his cassette series to listen to while driving. He is wonderful at making you feel like a good person.
I have trouble around the people at church b/c of things like they can quote the Bible and I can't. My anxiety attack this past Sunday had to do with my husband buing me a Bible for my birthday. I knew I was expected to take it to church Sunday and incredibly embarasses that I can't easily find the books of the Bible. I didn't want to be the only one who was flipping through it for ten minutes. Then I feel guilty for not going.
We're in a small church where everyone knows the other's business. But they are good people. I just suffer from low self esteem and no confidence.
I can relate to people thinking depression is a weakness. My husband is wonderful in going to appts with me and basically ministers to me daily to keep me from going downhill. But he also thinks my prayer life is lacking. I KNOW God can and will heal. Maybe I don't believe it deep enough. Probably I'm just not patient enough to wait for His time. I have claimed His healing and have to remind myself each day even though I still suffer with ups and downs.
For now I'll just pray for HIM to show us the way and give us patience. Bev
I love Joel Osteen. I just order several of his cassette series to listen to while driving. He is wonderful at making you feel like a good person.
I have trouble around the people at church b/c of things like they can quote the Bible and I can't. My anxiety attack this past Sunday had to do with my husband buing me a Bible for my birthday. I knew I was expected to take it to church Sunday and incredibly embarasses that I can't easily find the books of the Bible. I didn't want to be the only one who was flipping through it for ten minutes. Then I feel guilty for not going.
We're in a small church where everyone knows the other's business. But they are good people. I just suffer from low self esteem and no confidence.
I can relate to people thinking depression is a weakness. My husband is wonderful in going to appts with me and basically ministers to me daily to keep me from going downhill. But he also thinks my prayer life is lacking. I KNOW God can and will heal. Maybe I don't believe it deep enough. Probably I'm just not patient enough to wait for His time. I have claimed His healing and have to remind myself each day even though I still suffer with ups and downs.
For now I'll just pray for HIM to show us the way and give us patience. Bev
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Guest
Bev -
I have to share this! I grew up Catholic and then realized my need for salvation ("got saved") and then started attending a Baptist church after I got married. So - one of my first times in a Baptist Sunday School...and this as an ADULT...the teacher said, "Let's all recite John 3:16 together." Well...John 3:16 to me was just the sign that people wearing rainbow wigs held up at football games! I had no idea what the words were! And it was a small class, so I was REALLY embarrassed! I tried to mouth some words so that people wouldn't know that I didn't know it!
I understand what you are saying about the Bible. I am pretty good about New Testament, but am TERRIBLE about finding books in the Old Testament past the book of Numbers! Here's what I do...I open my Bible to the front where the Table of Contents is BEFORE the preacher says what scripture we are reading...and scan down the list quickly while flipping through the rest...that way I can see the page number at least where the book starts!
On the other side of this note - in my head, I realize that anyone who is looking at what I am doing (husband included) and being judgemental about whether or not I can find the pages as quickly as them does not have THEIR heart in the right place at that moment. We are all waiting to hear the WORD and receive a blessing and a challenge...and getting ready for that does NOT involve judging my Biblical knowledge or speed!!!
If your husband is lovingly encouraging you to have a deeper relationship with God, then I don't see that as a bad thing at all. But relationships are all different. We are not cookie-cutter people and therefore do not have cookie-cutter type relationships. In other words - I bet your husband's relationship with any one of your kids is different on some levels than yours is with the same child! That's normal!
God knows your heart and He isn't worried about how fast you can find the book of Habbakuk!
The way I see it - God's time is not our time. He will heal us in HIS time. And if His time is not as fast as my time - or as fast as I want it to be...then there must be a really, really good reason for it. I must have to learn something or experience something...something that I will be able to help someone else with down the road! I just remind myself that "ALL things work together for good for those who love God..." And that means the good things and the bad things.
Hang in there, girl...God loves you and we're going to make it through this!
Blessings,
Dawn
I have to share this! I grew up Catholic and then realized my need for salvation ("got saved") and then started attending a Baptist church after I got married. So - one of my first times in a Baptist Sunday School...and this as an ADULT...the teacher said, "Let's all recite John 3:16 together." Well...John 3:16 to me was just the sign that people wearing rainbow wigs held up at football games! I had no idea what the words were! And it was a small class, so I was REALLY embarrassed! I tried to mouth some words so that people wouldn't know that I didn't know it!
I understand what you are saying about the Bible. I am pretty good about New Testament, but am TERRIBLE about finding books in the Old Testament past the book of Numbers! Here's what I do...I open my Bible to the front where the Table of Contents is BEFORE the preacher says what scripture we are reading...and scan down the list quickly while flipping through the rest...that way I can see the page number at least where the book starts!
On the other side of this note - in my head, I realize that anyone who is looking at what I am doing (husband included) and being judgemental about whether or not I can find the pages as quickly as them does not have THEIR heart in the right place at that moment. We are all waiting to hear the WORD and receive a blessing and a challenge...and getting ready for that does NOT involve judging my Biblical knowledge or speed!!!
If your husband is lovingly encouraging you to have a deeper relationship with God, then I don't see that as a bad thing at all. But relationships are all different. We are not cookie-cutter people and therefore do not have cookie-cutter type relationships. In other words - I bet your husband's relationship with any one of your kids is different on some levels than yours is with the same child! That's normal!
God knows your heart and He isn't worried about how fast you can find the book of Habbakuk!
The way I see it - God's time is not our time. He will heal us in HIS time. And if His time is not as fast as my time - or as fast as I want it to be...then there must be a really, really good reason for it. I must have to learn something or experience something...something that I will be able to help someone else with down the road! I just remind myself that "ALL things work together for good for those who love God..." And that means the good things and the bad things.
Hang in there, girl...God loves you and we're going to make it through this!
Blessings,
Dawn