Religious anxiety can be so scary

bna · Post by **bna** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 8:07 am

I was wondering if anyone ever feels tlike this.
I have become to belive that God is a caring loving God and not someone who is up there keeping track of every bad thing I have ever done. And as anyone who has anxiety knows we are extremly creative in our thinking. In the past I thought God was like that just waiting to get me.

I have been really trying to work on having a relationship with God as I have come to realize that I need His Grace to overcome my anxiety disorder. The only good thing that has come out of anxiety and panic is that I have come to realize I need God in my life.

I am Catholic and I grew up in a very strict and negative home. Guilt worked increadibly well in our home.

Confession was always difficult for me. It was something we didn't do grwoing up. My family was a very proud family who could never admit mistakes. So making one you knew you;d hear about it. Thta's probably why I used to see them as something awful. I still struggle to see them as learning opportunities but I am working on it.

So in my mid 20's I started to go to Confession occasionally. I always tried to be make a good confession and always asked God to forgive me for all things now or in the past which offended Him. I found that going would give me an extreme sense of peace even if it was only for ashort time.

So I went yesterday after Mass because I remebered as a child praying for all who had died, family, friends and I also pry0aed for those in Hell because they were missing out on God's presence. I thought I was doing something good. I truely belive God works in mysterious ways because I remeber reading, as a child, a little pamphlet that had come in the mail saying that you should never pray for people in hell beacsue it gives them power. I stopped doing this immediately. I'm sure it caused immense anxiety for me as a child that I had made a mistake especially against God..

That thought came to me the other night as I was reading a Book on Catholism, similiar to rules and regulations book, So I decided instead of worrying and obessessing over it I would go to Confession.

I went yesterday morning to Mass and to Confession directly after. I thought I had given a good true Confession and felt really peaceful after it. There was a lecture being given after the Mass so I decided to attend.

It was being given by a layperson on Confession. She said that you must always list your sins and confess them individually so that you may receive forgiveness.

So here I was yesterday afternoon feeling very anxious that I didn't do it right and that I didn't confess all the things individually from my past and from all the years I didn't go to Confession.

I am feeling some anxiousness but i am breathing though it and praying. I have come to believe that God really knows what's in my heart and that I sorrowful for everything I have ever done even if I didn't list them all individually. He knows that I am an extremely sensitive individual and that even though I did not confess them directly to the priest that God knows I am sorry.

So I am upset withself that I didn't do it the way it say so in the Cathlic Rules book. I am starting to get negative and a little obessive over it.

When I went to mass this morning the regular priest wasn't there, it was a visiting priest who was in a hurry. I called a local parish and the secretary said I could try and see their priest but she's not sure what his schedule is like and suggested coming on Saturday to Confession.

All I want to know is are all the confessions I have made in the past null and void because I didn't list my sins individually? Isn't that black and white thinking as well as just negative thoughts?

If anyopne has any thoughts I would like to hear from you. Thank you for allowing me to vent because I don't like sharing all this with my husband. Take care and God Bless.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 8:23 am

i read your post from a year ago but if you want to talk about it i would like to see how your doing.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 8:29 am

I'm sorry... i was reading when you became a member not when you posted. I still would like to talk because i am a Christian and i have gone through doubts and fears recently and i can understand how you feel. God loves us like a father loves a child. He is our good shepherd and he wants us to trust in Him alone. there are plenty of encouraging promises in the bible and a good website for questions you may have is gotquestions.org Let me know what you think.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 9:09 am

Dear BNA:
I have so many thoughts on what you have just posted!!
But I don't want to say too much.

I would say to read the New Testament for yourself. It superceeds any doctrinal rules of any denomination.

First of all: God removes ALL your sins from you as far as the east is from the west. (Psalms)

The bible speaks of the Good News. The good news is that Jesus paid the price for your sins and that when you accept that' there is now no condemnation on you. So you need NOT carry any guilt!!! That is the good news!
But I may not be too good at explaining it all.
I know I'm not. Yet I know tis so!!

It is not just your denomination. Oh no.

When I was a young child, after hearing a rip roaring revival sermon, I'd walk accross a field, (I lived on a farm) and I feared that the devil would reach a pitchfork up out of the ground and pull me into hell fire.).

There is danger in these guilt teachings. These scare tactics.!
Of course that was extreem to have those fears as a child. But I was a child.
And if I'm not careful, I can still fear whether or not God loves me.

Listen, God does love, God IS love. There is no way he wants to punish. We punish ourselves enough.
Oh I'm not too good at this.
But Hey, those more gifted than I will come on here I know and they will be able to let you see that this religions anxiety you are having can be remedied by simply faith in a plan so very simply that even children can grasp it when it is presented right.
Those rules of man-made doctrine are just that.
MAN MADE. God did not, does not, put such a yoke on us. His yake is easy. He says: "Come to me and REST". yES REST!!!!

Read His promises and REST in His WORD. fORGET all those rules made by men. And REST.

Bless your heart.
You are okay and God surely loves you just as you are!!!
Love,
Mary

hopehound · Post by **hopehound** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 10:20 am

Hi bna and others,

I think Slender Reed hit just right. I t may be a lot to read, but God puts in my hear what he puts in my heart.

Rather than re-write my thoughts, I just link you to a post I made this morning, but you must have missed this:

http://bbs.stresscenter.com/ev...?r=69010605#69010605

I was raised a Roman Catholic, and I loved the Lord so much as a child in Catechism training for my first holy communion, I was so into my readings that, I walked right into a moving car, and was sent flying about 20-30 feet. I jumped up and was knocked silly. God is Good.

As a lot of people do, I drifted out of God's flock and right into the devils grasp, and the devil did not want to let go of me. I was delivered from this horrible grip that was over me, and then had my "born again" experience. I could share it but, it is extremely graphic, and I will spare those you the details. That followed by my baptism in the Spirit.

I discussed this experience with my Roman Catholic pastor, and he said that I was no longer a Catholic. I didn't understand why he said that. I intensified my a bible study that took me years and I drafted a lengthy profession of faith, and questions that I felt the church had to give me answers to, when all else failed, because they refused to discuss any of it, I posted my profession and declaration on the Bishop's door.

I believe that was on May 5, 1991. Little did I know that, Martin Luther did the exact same thing, and I did this precisely on the anniversary of Martin Luther's declaration. I had no idea of that. As far as I knew, this was probably the first time that happened. I had no church home. I wasn't ex-communicated, I just was not welcome there. I set out to find a new church home, and no matter where I went I was well received.

Sometimes, that is what we have to do, go where you are welcome. That's just my 2 cents on this, and I am good. I am okay. I had the courage of my conviction and I have no regrets.

TC

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 11:17 am

BNA -

What a great post! I used to be like you and had those fears as well.

As our Lord says and as Pope John Paul II said when he became pope, "Be Not Afraid". Yes, God IS LOVE.

Don't let the anxiety about getting something done perfectly (another one of our traits - perfectionism) to get in the way of the Grace you've received from the Sacrament of Reconciliation. You did not intentionally leave things out - God knows that. In the future, if you want to "come clean" and can't remember everything, then try to end with "and for all the other sins I have forgotten to mention, I am sorry". This is what I do and it helps me to know I'm not perfect and it's OK. God does know what's in my heart and will forgive me.

God's Amazing Grace is given in the sacraments. In my adulthood, I've come to truly know and believe that and going to confession is no longer something I dread or fear (particularly doing it "right"), but I see it as a gift I've been given and look forward to - just as receiving Christ in the Eucharist is a tremendous gift that gives me Grace.

Please, please, please don't let your anxiety eat at you - particularly not in this area. In Mass next time, listen closely - somewhere near the Our Father the priest will say, "...take away our anxiety and fears..." This is one of the lines I so long to hear as a sufferer of anxiety. I know God doesn't want us to suffer like we do.

Trust in Him! Be not afraid!

God bless!

p.s. If you're interested in sharing more, feel free to send me a private message. I am so much happier with my faith now as an adult and have a much greater understanding of it!

r.michelle · Post by **r.michelle** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 1:34 pm

Hi
As a fellow life long Catholic I would tell you not to fear. God has forgiven all your sins whether you mentioned everyone by name or not. Sounds like the lector you were listening to forgot about the fact that when the priest absolves you of your sins he specifically includes sins forgotten and you too can include a prayer for forgotten sin in your prayer before you are absolved, unless you just say the traditional prayer. I always kind of wing it...and it seems to work out okay. I would tell you not to worry about it but I know that won't help so what I can say it to look at your Cathechism, the official Catechism and look up the sacrament of penance. I'm sure you will find the answer there and I don't think it's a half bad idea to ask your priest about this as I'm sure he will reassure you that you are indeed forgiven even if you forgot to mention a sin here or there.
Catholicism can lead people like us to worry that we are following everything correctly because we are perfectionists but that doesn't mean our religion is a bad or wrong religion at all, it just means we personally need to learn to put everything into perspective, the problem is ours not the church and it's "rules". It is a beautiful faith and I have found much solace and peace in it...

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 1:34 pm

I couldn't believe how much better I felt after venting even before I read your responses. How can I thank you all for the wonderful response.

I have been doing pretty well overall in this program. I feel like my faith in God has really helped me overcome anxiety. So naturally it was very upsetting to think that I was not being a "perfect" Catholic or Christian, following all the rules. Obviously this is my perfectionistic attitude rearing its ugly head. I think religious fears can cause so much anxiety and panicky thinking.

I went to Church this evening and I met with a priest who was really great. He told me that as long as I went and made a good confession, as best I could and that I included that I was sorry for my sins now and in the past, that I was ok. He just mentioned the next time I go, to include anything else that's bothering me to help me relieve any guilt I may have. I felt like a burden has been lifted off my shoulder. I felt God's Grace having once again touched my heart like I always do after the Sacrament. All I can say is "GOD is so good to me"!

So once again thank you for all your support and encouragement. Take care and God Bless.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Mar 13, 2009 6:10 am

Catholicism can lead people like us to worry that we are following everything correctly because we are perfectionists but that doesn't mean our religion is a bad or wrong religion at all, it just means we personally need to learn to put everything into perspective, the problem is ours not the church and it's "rules". It is a beautiful faith and I have found much solace and peace in it...

thankfulrunnergirl - This is an excellent point that I wish more people would understand. We are blessed with a beautiful faith and we can enjoy it more when we get the help we need!