minister's wife
ok... thanks... first, i would just like to ask for prayer... God knows ALL and so I want Him to guide my every thought and action... especially concerning His church and loved ones... so as i learn more about this situation i find myself in, i would want prayer to be first.
next, i have been in the program since December and am feeling guilty about not doing all of the homework assignments... i've managed to just continue, but i guess i want someone to tell me that's ok... i had this sinking feeling last week that i was not being accountable to anyone and i should be...
and last for now... my husband is retired and serving as an interim Pastor in a community about 30 miles from here. we began this assignment in September, 2006, and i have become discouraged with the congregation and the lack of results that i believe should be there by now as far as maturity and love and cooperation with one another... i know i'm not to judge or become weary in well doing... but i got to the point that i couldn't even go with him for about a month...
thanks for being there... i look forward to hearing what God has through you...
much LOVE,
kj
next, i have been in the program since December and am feeling guilty about not doing all of the homework assignments... i've managed to just continue, but i guess i want someone to tell me that's ok... i had this sinking feeling last week that i was not being accountable to anyone and i should be...
and last for now... my husband is retired and serving as an interim Pastor in a community about 30 miles from here. we began this assignment in September, 2006, and i have become discouraged with the congregation and the lack of results that i believe should be there by now as far as maturity and love and cooperation with one another... i know i'm not to judge or become weary in well doing... but i got to the point that i couldn't even go with him for about a month...
thanks for being there... i look forward to hearing what God has through you...
much LOVE,
kj
"If nothing ever changed...there would be no Butterflies." Author unknown
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Guest
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EMMAtophobia
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- Joined: Tue May 13, 2008 9:02 am
hi kj,
I hope that you are doing a little better since you wrote last time.I know how it feels for others to not respond to what your husband does as he ministers to the church.people have changed so much in the last years.domonition is one thing that I try and not bother with but as christians we work together to get through this.
I think that maybe with him retired that maybe you thought he should do some other things and be there more for you.don't get me wrong that was just the feeling I had.since I retired last year I have been home more and there for my wife.
the program willl do you good and you will get alot out of it.know that you are in our thoughts and prayers and God Bless.
don
benny hinn once said.don't put your trust in the armour of God .but put your trust in the Man that made the armour.which was God.
I hope that you are doing a little better since you wrote last time.I know how it feels for others to not respond to what your husband does as he ministers to the church.people have changed so much in the last years.domonition is one thing that I try and not bother with but as christians we work together to get through this.
I think that maybe with him retired that maybe you thought he should do some other things and be there more for you.don't get me wrong that was just the feeling I had.since I retired last year I have been home more and there for my wife.
the program willl do you good and you will get alot out of it.know that you are in our thoughts and prayers and God Bless.
don
benny hinn once said.don't put your trust in the armour of God .but put your trust in the Man that made the armour.which was God.
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Guest
Hi kj, just read your note. I too am feeling torn between time in the Word and with the Lord, and the homework. I've quit my bible studying and quit time with him and replaced it with the program. Not a good idea, I think work thru the program (homework) as you can. The Lord will provide the time and results as He sees fit. Keep praying. Wenor
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Guest
Hey keithjoy,
My husband is a Baptist Preacher. He was pastoring a church until recently(December). I remember when I first started the program I felt a little guilty. I felt like I was taking time away from God. I found myself wanting to read the guidebook instead of the Bible. I felt selfious for feeling that way.
I finally realized that for me to get better. I had to do the work in the program. Alot of times "we" see things in extremes. I know my Bible teaches me to either be for him or against him. To not be lukewarm. To not strattle the fence. THAT'S HARD! Especially when your so analylitical and always trying to find a deeper meaning in something. When sometimes you just have to let it go or let it be what it is! Or like Lucinda say's Let Go and Let God.
I think what your feeling is very normal. I believe you will find a happy medium. I know for myself that it has taken a little bit longer than what "I" wanted it to
. For me I realized that the two had to go together for it to work(program&God).
The farther you go thru the sessions it will help. They build on one another like stepping stones.
I think Christians have alot of Guilt(or at least I did...lol). I think that is why this can be hard(doing the program). Plus your seeing things different for maybe the first time in your life!! You may be responding differently to things than what you "use to".
That for me made me questioned alot of things but once again we are "overly analytical". We want to read between those lines sooo bad! When I get like that I know it's not of God and I pray( I rebuke). I'm paraphrasing here, God is not the author of confusion but of sound mind...something like that.
I know how it feels to not go with your husband to Church. There have been times when I couldn't go for months at a time. It's a horrible feeling knowing your the pastor's wife and your not there backing your husband. That's when the guilt will set in and it will eat you up...IF you let it! Then you get depressed. It's a downward spirol that you have to STOP and say NO...I'VE HAD ENOUGH!
Something that has helped me with this is talking to my Husband. It has made such a difference. He knows I'm trying to get better and I love him and I'm praying for him even when I'm not there.
That's so hard because "we think" if we punish ourselves(guilt feelings). Then some how they will SEE how bad we feel about whatever it is that's going on and that will help. But for me I have realized that it does not help....it only makes it worse.
I have been wondering for awhile if there were any other wifes on here that had a preacher, minister, etc.... for a Husband. It's good to see I'm not alone.
Take care and God bless
My husband is a Baptist Preacher. He was pastoring a church until recently(December). I remember when I first started the program I felt a little guilty. I felt like I was taking time away from God. I found myself wanting to read the guidebook instead of the Bible. I felt selfious for feeling that way.
I finally realized that for me to get better. I had to do the work in the program. Alot of times "we" see things in extremes. I know my Bible teaches me to either be for him or against him. To not be lukewarm. To not strattle the fence. THAT'S HARD! Especially when your so analylitical and always trying to find a deeper meaning in something. When sometimes you just have to let it go or let it be what it is! Or like Lucinda say's Let Go and Let God.
I think what your feeling is very normal. I believe you will find a happy medium. I know for myself that it has taken a little bit longer than what "I" wanted it to
. For me I realized that the two had to go together for it to work(program&God). The farther you go thru the sessions it will help. They build on one another like stepping stones.
I think Christians have alot of Guilt(or at least I did...lol). I think that is why this can be hard(doing the program). Plus your seeing things different for maybe the first time in your life!! You may be responding differently to things than what you "use to".
That for me made me questioned alot of things but once again we are "overly analytical". We want to read between those lines sooo bad!
When I get like that I know it's not of God and I pray( I rebuke). I'm paraphrasing here, God is not the author of confusion but of sound mind...something like that.I know how it feels to not go with your husband to Church. There have been times when I couldn't go for months at a time. It's a horrible feeling knowing your the pastor's wife and your not there backing your husband. That's when the guilt will set in and it will eat you up...IF you let it! Then you get depressed. It's a downward spirol that you have to STOP and say NO...I'VE HAD ENOUGH!
Something that has helped me with this is talking to my Husband. It has made such a difference. He knows I'm trying to get better and I love him and I'm praying for him even when I'm not there.
That's so hard because "we think" if we punish ourselves(guilt feelings). Then some how they will SEE how bad we feel about whatever it is that's going on and that will help. But for me I have realized that it does not help....it only makes it worse.
I have been wondering for awhile if there were any other wifes on here that had a preacher, minister, etc.... for a Husband. It's good to see I'm not alone.
Take care and God bless
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Guest
gee thanks, karenleigh... i love God so much for having you respond... just knowing that you understand the perspective of living with a man of God is much different than just listening to one on Sunday mornings... we celebrate 21 years of marriage this April and i sometimes still feel like just another Christian out there in the pew trying to "get it" when he speaks ... sometimes thinking "WHO is this man?"... it's a wonderful privilege to be married to him, ... it's also a wonderful challenge to be married to the "Preacher"...
knowing you all are praying is really giving me more strength and encouragement minute-by-minute and i am soooooooo grateful for all of you who have responded and are praying... i am going to church tomorrow... so we'll see how it goes...
my issues are more with the people than they are with him right now... he's been wonderfully supportive... in fact he ordered the program for me in hopes it would help... and it has... tremendously...
again, i am so grateful to God for you all... i'm praying you all have a wonderful worship experience tomorrow in HIM.
much LOVE,
kj
knowing you all are praying is really giving me more strength and encouragement minute-by-minute and i am soooooooo grateful for all of you who have responded and are praying... i am going to church tomorrow... so we'll see how it goes...
my issues are more with the people than they are with him right now... he's been wonderfully supportive... in fact he ordered the program for me in hopes it would help... and it has... tremendously...
again, i am so grateful to God for you all... i'm praying you all have a wonderful worship experience tomorrow in HIM.
much LOVE,
kj
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Guest
kj...it's so wonderful to see God work thru us. He knew I needed to here from someone who knows how it feels to be married to a minister/preacher. I am so thankful that you started this Topic.
So it will be 21yrs this April...WOW! That's so good. I have been married for 13yrs.
I would have never thought in a million yrs. that I would marry a preacher.
I feel the same about what you said...about not getting it. I think I put to much pressure on myself. I worry to much about what other people think about me(church members...especially).
I have had those moments like you said "who is this man"? It's strange because when my husband preaches. I see a totally different person standing there. For myself...I see the holy spirit( not literally ) but I do see God working thru him.
It's so different being on the other side. I use to think that a pastor and his wife/children were sooo much different than a regular Christian family. In alot of ways it is but for myself I'm just like any other person. I'm trying hard to live for God and be the best Christian I can be.
That is something that I have tried real hard to do. Is to tell others that we are all in this together(church members). I am the first to say I'm not any better than you, just because my Husband is a preacher.
your right it is a challenge but also a privalege. I have told my husband sooo maney times. That if he was'nt a man of God. He would have already left me. I have had anxiety/depresion thru out our entire marriage. But I am determined to get it under control.
This program has really helped me so much!
I hope and pray that this program will help you too.
Take care and God bless
So it will be 21yrs this April...WOW! That's so good. I have been married for 13yrs.
I would have never thought in a million yrs. that I would marry a preacher.
I feel the same about what you said...about not getting it. I think I put to much pressure on myself. I worry to much about what other people think about me(church members...especially).
I have had those moments like you said "who is this man"? It's strange because when my husband preaches. I see a totally different person standing there. For myself...I see the holy spirit( not literally ) but I do see God working thru him.
It's so different being on the other side. I use to think that a pastor and his wife/children were sooo much different than a regular Christian family. In alot of ways it is but for myself I'm just like any other person. I'm trying hard to live for God and be the best Christian I can be.
That is something that I have tried real hard to do. Is to tell others that we are all in this together(church members). I am the first to say I'm not any better than you, just because my Husband is a preacher.
your right it is a challenge but also a privalege. I have told my husband sooo maney times. That if he was'nt a man of God. He would have already left me. I have had anxiety/depresion thru out our entire marriage. But I am determined to get it under control.
This program has really helped me so much!
I hope and pray that this program will help you too.
Take care and God bless