Hey friends, brothers and sisters,
I am on week 3 of the program, starting week 4 tomorrow. I've noticed since the second week of the program, I am so not wanting to go to church.
Anyone else?
I can't explain why I feel this way. It's as if I feel intruded upon. Like my time is better spent on the program. Church feels like an interruption. And it wasn't like that before, not at all. I'm a part of a small church, close knit, loving and forgiving beyond what we might put upon them. It is a truly Godly place, one of spiritual growth and love. Real love as Christ intended.
And yet, I don't want to put forth the effort to go tomorrow morning. I keep thinking that I could sleep, I could listen to my relaxation cd or move on to session 4? Or even catch up on my work book. How about a morning chat?
What is going on? I just have to pray. And I have to be aware that Satan can also use this weakness in me, this anxiety that I've had as an in to tear me away from Christ. Pray for me?
I know God sent me this program. I know He is by my side, I do! Pray for strength!
Blessings,
Lea
Not wanting to attend Church?
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Guest
Hello Leadavis,
I have a issues about attending Church I do pretty good for one month going then cant for the next month why I have no clue I feel like I could pass out before I even get there and then when I do I feel dizzy and off balance and sweat.
So maybe like me its more about getting to heart of your anxiety that is keeping You home maybe the thought that time at home is better then getting out and going but I dont know I know If I can do it I am going tomorrow for sure I am trying so hard to over come this anxiety and I have completed the program I have been in chat for over 1yr yes I have made alot of headway but I am still a work in progress and I do know Chat can keep you from getting out and doing things I have had that issue also.
You really need to wake up and say when I get home from Church I can go do the program and I can go back to Chat and say Hey guess what I did it I went to Church and I am better for it.
God wants you in his House also but if not worship at home I do that also.
You can set in a Church but it doesnt make ya a Christian so do what you feel God is telling you to do I think by writing this You know that answer ,, but I am not expert lol .God Bless Ramona aka Moey
I have a issues about attending Church I do pretty good for one month going then cant for the next month why I have no clue I feel like I could pass out before I even get there and then when I do I feel dizzy and off balance and sweat.
So maybe like me its more about getting to heart of your anxiety that is keeping You home maybe the thought that time at home is better then getting out and going but I dont know I know If I can do it I am going tomorrow for sure I am trying so hard to over come this anxiety and I have completed the program I have been in chat for over 1yr yes I have made alot of headway but I am still a work in progress and I do know Chat can keep you from getting out and doing things I have had that issue also.
You really need to wake up and say when I get home from Church I can go do the program and I can go back to Chat and say Hey guess what I did it I went to Church and I am better for it.
God wants you in his House also but if not worship at home I do that also.
You can set in a Church but it doesnt make ya a Christian so do what you feel God is telling you to do I think by writing this You know that answer ,, but I am not expert lol .God Bless Ramona aka Moey
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Guest
Hi Lea & Ramona,
I can relate to your feelings about not wanting to go to worship. I would wrestle with my thoughts about making an excuse to my husband for not going. I'd begin to think about it on Saturday night and again Sunday morning. Sometimes I'd fake being sick and would feel so guilty & lonely after he left and I was still in bed (the worst thing we can do!!)
Our is also a small congregation so it's not like I could get lost in the crowd, or leave unnoticed. I realized that on those days, I didn't want anyone at church (the brothers & sisters who love me!) to ask "How are you doing today?" because I felt the same depression week after week and did not want to be asked anything!
This last depressive episode, I made a concious decision that worship was the one thing I needed to do for my God, collectively with the congregation. I cannot say I attended perfectly, but having premade the decision took a load off my mind and I went whether I felt like it or not. What I found is this - as long as I put even the slightest effort into the moment, I felt better by the end of the service. That taught me alot about a decision. Premade decisions eliminate all the little debates we have in our heads, and they save alot of our mental energy.
One last observation: God will help you do all you have to do in the program, and since He led us to it, let us honor Him by putting Him first
Praying for His strength in your lives. Rest well.
I can relate to your feelings about not wanting to go to worship. I would wrestle with my thoughts about making an excuse to my husband for not going. I'd begin to think about it on Saturday night and again Sunday morning. Sometimes I'd fake being sick and would feel so guilty & lonely after he left and I was still in bed (the worst thing we can do!!)
Our is also a small congregation so it's not like I could get lost in the crowd, or leave unnoticed. I realized that on those days, I didn't want anyone at church (the brothers & sisters who love me!) to ask "How are you doing today?" because I felt the same depression week after week and did not want to be asked anything!
This last depressive episode, I made a concious decision that worship was the one thing I needed to do for my God, collectively with the congregation. I cannot say I attended perfectly, but having premade the decision took a load off my mind and I went whether I felt like it or not. What I found is this - as long as I put even the slightest effort into the moment, I felt better by the end of the service. That taught me alot about a decision. Premade decisions eliminate all the little debates we have in our heads, and they save alot of our mental energy.
One last observation: God will help you do all you have to do in the program, and since He led us to it, let us honor Him by putting Him first
Praying for His strength in your lives. Rest well.
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Guest
thank you so much! Turning it into a "pre-decision" made it feel as if it was okay for me to be robotic about it. Sometimes if you just go with the flow, even if you don't want to, even when you feel like you can't....it will turn out good.
I just have to go. I just have to allow God to help me through this. Of course He will help me lay in bed all wrapped up in me but I need to be wrapped up in Him! And my brothers and sisters.
Funny thing. When others have been depressed, I was always disappointed that they weren't there so we could help. Now I'm on the flip side and am having such a struggle accepting the love and comfort that only a good Church and God can provide.
Hugs and blessings,
Lea
PS I AM getting up and going to worship with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Don't forget to turn your clocks back. But if you do, prep for the rest of us.
I just have to go. I just have to allow God to help me through this. Of course He will help me lay in bed all wrapped up in me but I need to be wrapped up in Him! And my brothers and sisters.
Funny thing. When others have been depressed, I was always disappointed that they weren't there so we could help. Now I'm on the flip side and am having such a struggle accepting the love and comfort that only a good Church and God can provide.
Hugs and blessings,
Lea
PS I AM getting up and going to worship with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Don't forget to turn your clocks back. But if you do, prep for the rest of us.
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Guest
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Guest
I made the decision to "just go" Saturday night and it made it easier. Got up, got ready and went and I am I happy I did.
I shared the program, the info about it with another woman there who will be ordering it.
She has suffered for years and my being there to help her was so awesome!
Now to not make her recovery more important than my own.
Thanks again everyone for encouraging me.
It was an awesome worship service, great fellowship, good lesson and I am filled up and ready to take on the week ahead.
Blessings,
Lea
I shared the program, the info about it with another woman there who will be ordering it.
She has suffered for years and my being there to help her was so awesome!
Now to not make her recovery more important than my own.
Thanks again everyone for encouraging me.
It was an awesome worship service, great fellowship, good lesson and I am filled up and ready to take on the week ahead.
Blessings,
Lea
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Guest
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Guest