to philip-
I have told my boyfriend about this other guy. I didnt talk much about what was going on in my last post. I love my boyfriend but i am not sure if i am happy he is 22 and acts like he is younger he sits on this stupid computer game all day long until he starts working again its been cold. But anyways he is not romantic like at all and doesnt talk to me the way i want him to, he doesnt talk mean to me either. I am very comfortable with him and have never been able to stay the night with a guy and not wake up with anxiety until him, I have been living with him for about 6 months now, but I am starting to think it is ruing our relationship. I told this other guy that I could only be friends with him at least for now bc i am not ready to leave my boyfriend
break ups
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Guest
hey bubbly,
good for you for taking the difficult step in the right direction. continue to pray (but try not to be obsessive about it, if ya know what I mean)--thanking God and asking for guidance on how you spend your time.
pamper yourself. do something you have wanted to do (daytrip? call a friend? invite someone to shop/go to a gallery/see a movie?). try something new--change your scenery a bit (try new cafe? take an excercise class? join something like a book club/bible study?). make the effort to chat with folks (both in a light-hearted way and a "just broke up with my boyfriend" way) so that you're staying connected and not burying your feelings. maybe journal?
slowly the hurt will start to fade. and you'll see how God's redirecting your life for the better.
i like this quote, too!
(is he a convenient distraction, more than anything???)
maybe make a couple of lists. for example: what are the qualities that your boyfriend possesses that make him a good man and good partner.
what, besides the way he talks, do you admire about the other guy?
how are you a good girlfriend/friend--and what might ya do to improve/change the relationships.
it's great to grow and make changes--but don't turn away the real deal, just because you want thrill/romance.
if the living situation is troublesome--try to get some good spiritual counsel.
lastly,lot's of guys talk a great talk--especially to a woman who is "unavailable"--but they can't back it up with important qualities, like responsibility. these guys are often thrill-seekers, with short attention spans when it comes to treating a person with respect.
all the best!
good for you for taking the difficult step in the right direction. continue to pray (but try not to be obsessive about it, if ya know what I mean)--thanking God and asking for guidance on how you spend your time.
pamper yourself. do something you have wanted to do (daytrip? call a friend? invite someone to shop/go to a gallery/see a movie?). try something new--change your scenery a bit (try new cafe? take an excercise class? join something like a book club/bible study?). make the effort to chat with folks (both in a light-hearted way and a "just broke up with my boyfriend" way) so that you're staying connected and not burying your feelings. maybe journal?
slowly the hurt will start to fade. and you'll see how God's redirecting your life for the better.
i like this quote, too!
and Living--sweetness--please take a step back. i think you've zoomed in on one attractive thing about the other man."Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it."
Phil
(is he a convenient distraction, more than anything???)
maybe make a couple of lists. for example: what are the qualities that your boyfriend possesses that make him a good man and good partner.
what, besides the way he talks, do you admire about the other guy?
how are you a good girlfriend/friend--and what might ya do to improve/change the relationships.
it's great to grow and make changes--but don't turn away the real deal, just because you want thrill/romance.
if the living situation is troublesome--try to get some good spiritual counsel.
lastly,lot's of guys talk a great talk--especially to a woman who is "unavailable"--but they can't back it up with important qualities, like responsibility. these guys are often thrill-seekers, with short attention spans when it comes to treating a person with respect.
all the best!
Last edited by MC Grace on Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Guest
thanks so much you guys! i have had more time to think about it and i mean i am now absolutely w/o a doubt sure that breaking up was the right thing to do. and he and i have talked about it and decided that even though he still has feelings for me, we will try to talk like we always did-because we were always best friends. it probably wont be the same, but i mean i'll take it.
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daizimae19
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:15 pm
We are all doing the best we know how. Life is about growing and maturing. In order to do so you have to try and experiment with things. This includes dating and relationships. Things are never going to be perfect, meaning we are all going to make mistakes. If a guy is not "the one" for you, that's not your failure. It's simply trying and discovering that the relationship is not what you are seeking.
It's tough when you breakup because you don't want to hurt anyone. Naturally guilt is going to rise up when this happens if you are a moral person. You didn't set out to purposely hurt him. The relationship simply didn't work out. You made a mistake. We all do. Forgive yourself and let go of it. He will be fine after a little while and will find someone else. As my Mother told me, there are a million fish in the sea, and it's true.
My first gf broke it off with me after 2.5 years of going together. I was 18. It broke my heart, but I got over it. Then in college I dated a girl for about 2.5 years and knew I didn't want to marry her. I broke it off. I tried to break it off about 6 months to a year into it, but had such guilt over it that I made up with her. getting back together with her was a big mistake. It wasted my time and hers. I just didn't know how to handle the guilt.
It's okay to make mistakes. Forgive yourself and get on with your life. You've done the right thing. Time will heal you and him.
It's tough when you breakup because you don't want to hurt anyone. Naturally guilt is going to rise up when this happens if you are a moral person. You didn't set out to purposely hurt him. The relationship simply didn't work out. You made a mistake. We all do. Forgive yourself and let go of it. He will be fine after a little while and will find someone else. As my Mother told me, there are a million fish in the sea, and it's true.
My first gf broke it off with me after 2.5 years of going together. I was 18. It broke my heart, but I got over it. Then in college I dated a girl for about 2.5 years and knew I didn't want to marry her. I broke it off. I tried to break it off about 6 months to a year into it, but had such guilt over it that I made up with her. getting back together with her was a big mistake. It wasted my time and hers. I just didn't know how to handle the guilt.
It's okay to make mistakes. Forgive yourself and get on with your life. You've done the right thing. Time will heal you and him.
