Light At the end of The Tunnel
Hey I haven't wrote on here in a while, I am on session 14 and I still am dealing with a lot. I know it takes time to process and it is up to me to work it. I think maybe deep down inside I don't believe it can help or God can heal me for that matter. That is my problem. Lately I just been feeling so stressed and sometimes i don't even no why. Its like things will be ok then something little will happen and I will over worry about it. I\Then I just feel like crap for such a long period of time. I feel very exposed and sensative to the smallest things, like any little thing will set me off. I know I need more trust in God to help. I just have a lot of pain on the inside and I have severed relatonships because of my insecurities and now feel guilty for it. I also, when I feel like this wanna tell my boyfriend that maybe we should take some time off. When I feel distant I feel he dosn't love me, or how can he love me. I pray to b secure and it will come I am just in the wilderness right now but I know theres a light at the end of this tunnel, I just have to speak it! Any advice
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Guest
I have done the same thing with my husband. His mom would tell others that he should just leave me because she knows that he doesn't want to be with me and then I would believe it myself. Then I would worry she was right. I now know that she just didn't want us to be together. I get in the word more to help with my negative thoughts. I look up everything that has to do with my situation and that helps. I also pray and talk with others which is what you are doing obviously and that will help you out alot. When you start getting a negative thought stop it by saying positive things about yourself like you are wonderful, thoughtful, person, and your boyfriend does love you or he wouldn't be with you. You have to say the opposite of your thoughts and that helps! I have doubted that God could heal me and was mad at times that I was a child of the Most High and not healed, but I now only have had a panic attack once in the past month. I have gone through many things and I have taking the small things that God has done for me and gave him praise for them and then I walked in faith that more would come and they have slowly to me but surley. Sometimes we are getting what we have asked for from God and it has came in differnt areas that we aren't paying attention to. I do believe that you need to trust in God but we don't always see what the Lord is trying to do for us so we get discouraged sometimes for what we are suffering through. Keep faith! Don't push people out of your life because of the way you feel, talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you are feeling and tell him that you aren't saying that he has made you feel that way but your anxiety is making you feel that way. It is better to talk about it now instead of letting it get stuck in your head. Conquer your fear head on and give yourself postitve self talk and that helps. Don't allow those thoughts to stay there keep telling yourself the opposite of what you feel. There is a light at the other end of the tunnel! Tell yourself that you feel great and when you feel bad about something it is not always easy but telling yourself it will get better will help! If you need to talk one on one you can PM me and I will try to help you the best way I can! God bless!
JEnnifier
JEnnifier
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Guest
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Jewell: (I've inserted comments to J's post)
"I am on session 14 and I still am dealing with a lot."
Jewell, your words seem of shame...not perfect yet!..We want to apply this knowledge and immediately change (at least I was thinking that!)
"I know it takes time to process and it is up to me to work it." -yes, but why do we say it with burden. How can we say it with expectation & empowerment? (I'm expecting myself to think on this too)
"I think maybe deep down inside I don't believe it can help or God can heal me for that matter." OR are you (& me) justifying why you are not yet perfect...and THIS is hard, I want to escape. "Lately I just been feeling so stressed and sometimes i don't even no why." That is the nature of our hang-up...it's a good reason to keep working to rid ourselves of subtle negative thoughts.
"Its like things will be ok..." (GOOD, at those times praise the Lord) "...then something little will happen and I will over worry about it." -When you notice --use the skills (or get out the books). Habits are hard to break and good ones are hard to develop. I've realized if I don't have reason to practice over and over (often) it makes the process that much longer (like if you spend an hour a day, every day practicing the piano - it is better than: 3 minutes every 10 days). Therefore, for me to be assertive- it isn't like learning to play the piano! I have my old ways of keeping my feelings concealed, and how often can I be assertive (especially when I'm ready to do so!) We need to give ourselves a break. Re-learning is hard. But we ARE DOING it!
"Then I just feel like crap for such a long period of time. I feel very exposed and sensative to the smallest things, like any little thing will set me off." This is not what we want to live with any longer. We want to live more effective, keep walking on this journey. (Notice again you are putting yourself down, your ashamed that you aren't past this response. We need to encourage ourselves- that we recognize our issue, and think truth and positive words.
"I know I need more trust in God to help." I bet you have faith the size of a mustard seed...that is all He needs...He loves you...talk to Him...listen to Him...open the Bible...read the Psalms if you aren't reading a set portion.
"I have a lot of pain on the inside" When David wrote the Psalms he let emotions out - you will be able to relate to some of his feelings. I often need to see how David can pour out his pain and praise God in the same passage!
"I have severed relatonships because of my insecurities and now feel guilty for it." Go to Session 9. This could be false guilt. But in any case use the book to work it out, to let it go.
"I also, when I feel like this wanna tell my boyfriend that maybe we should take some time off. When I feel distant I feel he dosn't love me, or how can he love me." I agree with Jennifer, let him know "how" you feel, but that you know that feelings are just that. Sometimes expressing ourselves frees us, the weird or negative emotions dissolve.
"I am just in the wilderness right now but I know theres a light at the end of this tunnel" The wilderness is ok, it may be dry and not enjoyable. Yet we learn in the wilderness. We reach out to God in the wilderness. He MEETS us in the wilderness. My times in the wilderness I would not "give back" now. Put your hand in the Lord's hand, He won't let go!
"I am on session 14 and I still am dealing with a lot."
Jewell, your words seem of shame...not perfect yet!..We want to apply this knowledge and immediately change (at least I was thinking that!)
"I know it takes time to process and it is up to me to work it." -yes, but why do we say it with burden. How can we say it with expectation & empowerment? (I'm expecting myself to think on this too)
"I think maybe deep down inside I don't believe it can help or God can heal me for that matter." OR are you (& me) justifying why you are not yet perfect...and THIS is hard, I want to escape. "Lately I just been feeling so stressed and sometimes i don't even no why." That is the nature of our hang-up...it's a good reason to keep working to rid ourselves of subtle negative thoughts.
"Its like things will be ok..." (GOOD, at those times praise the Lord) "...then something little will happen and I will over worry about it." -When you notice --use the skills (or get out the books). Habits are hard to break and good ones are hard to develop. I've realized if I don't have reason to practice over and over (often) it makes the process that much longer (like if you spend an hour a day, every day practicing the piano - it is better than: 3 minutes every 10 days). Therefore, for me to be assertive- it isn't like learning to play the piano! I have my old ways of keeping my feelings concealed, and how often can I be assertive (especially when I'm ready to do so!) We need to give ourselves a break. Re-learning is hard. But we ARE DOING it!
"Then I just feel like crap for such a long period of time. I feel very exposed and sensative to the smallest things, like any little thing will set me off." This is not what we want to live with any longer. We want to live more effective, keep walking on this journey. (Notice again you are putting yourself down, your ashamed that you aren't past this response. We need to encourage ourselves- that we recognize our issue, and think truth and positive words.
"I know I need more trust in God to help." I bet you have faith the size of a mustard seed...that is all He needs...He loves you...talk to Him...listen to Him...open the Bible...read the Psalms if you aren't reading a set portion.
"I have a lot of pain on the inside" When David wrote the Psalms he let emotions out - you will be able to relate to some of his feelings. I often need to see how David can pour out his pain and praise God in the same passage!
"I have severed relatonships because of my insecurities and now feel guilty for it." Go to Session 9. This could be false guilt. But in any case use the book to work it out, to let it go.
"I also, when I feel like this wanna tell my boyfriend that maybe we should take some time off. When I feel distant I feel he dosn't love me, or how can he love me." I agree with Jennifer, let him know "how" you feel, but that you know that feelings are just that. Sometimes expressing ourselves frees us, the weird or negative emotions dissolve.
"I am just in the wilderness right now but I know theres a light at the end of this tunnel" The wilderness is ok, it may be dry and not enjoyable. Yet we learn in the wilderness. We reach out to God in the wilderness. He MEETS us in the wilderness. My times in the wilderness I would not "give back" now. Put your hand in the Lord's hand, He won't let go!