desire wholeness....
Hey I just wanted to write to get some stuff out. I have been medicating with alcohol for my anxiety and depression a bit lately. My boyfriend is amazing, he started atending AA meetings to help him with mine as well as his alcoholism. I went to two metings but I feel i just can't get anything out, and I know that is the problem, that I canot let anyone really see me. i just feel so depressed lately. My life on the outside is fine. I have so many blessings but on the inside I am dying. I want to take pills but Im afraid to, and my coucillor sez I don't need them. I am praying and fighting and exercising I just dont et it. I think I really believe in my heart that I am afraid so I am going to keep speaking the truth over my life and await my brak through. I just want to be normal.... I want to be whole
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Guest
Jewell,
When going to AA I used to get so anxious about what I was going to say, that it was hard to just listen and get something out of what others wer saying.
Give yourself a break. Go to AA just to get the tools. Sit and listen. You never have to say a word if you choose not to. Just listening to other peoples issues and inspirations, will help you. One day at a time. I was so afraid to join a group or let anyone know me because I thought they would not like me. Or I just thought that anything I had to say was not worthwhile. I did speak once or twice, but could not speak after that. I stopped going because of that anxiety. I was told I had to go through the progam and the steps in order to be well and stop drinking, as nothing else will work. For me it was not the answer. I listened to what I needed to listen to and took the tools and left what I could not handle. I see now that I need not have let people make me anxious. I also did not like the way I looked and thought everyone was judging me because of it. I had a panic attack one day and I just could not go inside. Now I am 2 1/2 years sober, and I realize that it was the tools that I got from AA that did help me although. I only have been back a few times, but just to listen.
Just sit and listen and if you can relate to someone, that can be all the help you need. Don't feel as though you need to talk or do anything that you are not ready to do. Going through this program may help you with speaking if you really feel the need to speak, but if you don't, don't sweat it. It will come in time or not at all.
Good luck and hope you feel better soon.
HOPEFULL
When going to AA I used to get so anxious about what I was going to say, that it was hard to just listen and get something out of what others wer saying.
Give yourself a break. Go to AA just to get the tools. Sit and listen. You never have to say a word if you choose not to. Just listening to other peoples issues and inspirations, will help you. One day at a time. I was so afraid to join a group or let anyone know me because I thought they would not like me. Or I just thought that anything I had to say was not worthwhile. I did speak once or twice, but could not speak after that. I stopped going because of that anxiety. I was told I had to go through the progam and the steps in order to be well and stop drinking, as nothing else will work. For me it was not the answer. I listened to what I needed to listen to and took the tools and left what I could not handle. I see now that I need not have let people make me anxious. I also did not like the way I looked and thought everyone was judging me because of it. I had a panic attack one day and I just could not go inside. Now I am 2 1/2 years sober, and I realize that it was the tools that I got from AA that did help me although. I only have been back a few times, but just to listen.
Just sit and listen and if you can relate to someone, that can be all the help you need. Don't feel as though you need to talk or do anything that you are not ready to do. Going through this program may help you with speaking if you really feel the need to speak, but if you don't, don't sweat it. It will come in time or not at all.
Good luck and hope you feel better soon.
HOPEFULL
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Guest
Jewell,
I'm new to this program & was browsing, came across your note. I know what it's like to want to be whole. I once was before I had kids, don't get me wrong I Love my kids, but the wholeness left. I have 1 grandchild that I am raising, 7 ppl living in my home, my husband drives truck so he's not home. My wholeness was lost until this program. Hang in there, the desire to be whole and speak out will come.
I'm new to this program & was browsing, came across your note. I know what it's like to want to be whole. I once was before I had kids, don't get me wrong I Love my kids, but the wholeness left. I have 1 grandchild that I am raising, 7 ppl living in my home, my husband drives truck so he's not home. My wholeness was lost until this program. Hang in there, the desire to be whole and speak out will come.
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Guest
HI GIGGLES, I CAN RELATE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WELL.MY WHOLENESS LAFT WHEN MY DAUGHTER AND GRANDAUGHTER MOVED IN WITH ME. DAUGHTER NEEDED A FULLTIME SITTER FOR GRANDAUGHTER 
.OMG IT WAS SO MUCH STRESS. OF COURES I LOVE MINE TOO. BUT I ALSO LOVE MY PRIVACY AND FREEDOM. I ACTUALLY MOVED OUT AND LEFT THEM 
. GRANDAUGHTER IS 17 AND HAS A BEHAVIOR DISORDER. IF I HAD STAYED IN THAT SITUATION I WOULD NOT HAVE ANY BRAIN CELLS LEFT. HAD TO TAKE MANY BENZO'S. GOOD LUCK..................MALIKYE
I AM NOT YELLING
.OMG IT WAS SO MUCH STRESS. OF COURES I LOVE MINE TOO. BUT I ALSO LOVE MY PRIVACY AND FREEDOM. I ACTUALLY MOVED OUT AND LEFT THEM . GRANDAUGHTER IS 17 AND HAS A BEHAVIOR DISORDER. IF I HAD STAYED IN THAT SITUATION I WOULD NOT HAVE ANY BRAIN CELLS LEFT. HAD TO TAKE MANY BENZO'S. GOOD LUCK..................MALIKYEI AM NOT YELLING
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Guest
Hi Jewell,
I don't know where you live or what health care you have access to, but I'd like to give you a suggestion about the pills. My doctors tried to put me on anti-depressants. First one, then another. Both were problems. Before they came up with a third, I had a visit with my naturopath and discussed things. She put me on an herbal tincture that I take several times daily. After 3 days it was working so well I never went back to the doctor for another try at antidepressants. You might see what alternative healers there are in your area and what options they offer you. btw the tinctures are not that expensive - $20 lasts maybe 2 weeks. Think it over.
I don't know where you live or what health care you have access to, but I'd like to give you a suggestion about the pills. My doctors tried to put me on anti-depressants. First one, then another. Both were problems. Before they came up with a third, I had a visit with my naturopath and discussed things. She put me on an herbal tincture that I take several times daily. After 3 days it was working so well I never went back to the doctor for another try at antidepressants. You might see what alternative healers there are in your area and what options they offer you. btw the tinctures are not that expensive - $20 lasts maybe 2 weeks. Think it over.
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Guest