What Are YOUR "What-ifs?"

Skippy · Post by **Skippy** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 7:02 am

This is the lesson I've been waiting for, but I have to admit, the tape was a disappointment. I hope the workbook lesson has a lot more to it.

I was expecting to hear a lot more of the individual "what-if's" but it seemed more like a re-hash of all the prior lessons.

So, I'd like to hear from you all about what your own "what-if's" are, and their consequences. Mine is kind of strange, but here goes:

What if today is my last day to live?

Consequences = a dirty,messy,undecorated house. Unorganized paperwork/bills. No hobbies (why start something you can't finish?)

Job dissatisfaction (who want's to spend their last day of life at work?)

Almost no clothing,less than a week's worth (why buy clothes if your fixing to die? Besides, I'm hard to fit and I hate shopping for clothes, so why spend my last day doing something I hate?)

OK. Now that I've embarassed myself, will you guys share your crazy "what-if's?" And, of course, any solutions too!:)

stripey · Post by **stripey** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 7:58 am

Hi

I'm really pleased you asked this. Hearing other people's what if's helps me too. Mine are...

What if I get schizophrena. Consequences are waiting to hear voices that I never hear, looking up statistics to see what the chances are I might develop it, turning off the television if I hear anything abut mental illness

What if I start blinking too much and can't stop.
What if I never feel quite the same again - consequences is obsessing about 'cures'
What if I can never wean off anti depressants - reading everything under the sun about withdrawel symptoms
What if I hurt my partner
What if I scream during a meeting
What if I'm racist
What if I've got Tourettes
What if I blurt out that I have had an affair to my partner
What if all this isn't anxiety and I am actually going to do some of these things

It's funny listing them! I know that none of them are going to happen. I know that I am looking for the worst possible things which demonstrates that I could never do them because they scare me so much.

I hope we don't start copying other people's what ifs!

I know that my what ifs are all about losing control. One image that really upsets me is the thought of people saying 'she used to be so happy and vivacious - I can't believe she has gone mad'. The thought of people coming to visit me in prison or in a mental hospital. It's not going to happen and I know I've only got anxiety but at one point this thought terrified me!

Our what ifs usually follow a pattern. If you get new ones and are less scared of old ones that just goes to show how silly they are.

Stripey

eileenmatt · Post by **eileenmatt** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 8:09 am

What if life is fake
What is the point of having fun life is fake
what if you are made up
what if I am right and evryone else is wrong about my aniety
what if i lose touch with reality
what if i can't take it anymore and go crazy
what if i never get better
I know they are SILLY

nomoreworry · Post by **nomoreworry** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 12:17 pm

I know what you mean about.....how the what-if's follow a pattern. If you get new ones and are less scared of the old ones that just goes to show how silly and irrational they really are! I agree. I will have a scary what-if that will scare me for a couple of days or maybe weeks where I totally obsess and scare myself over it. Then, a new scary what-ifs pops up and I'm on to the next one. It's definitely more about the obsessive way of thinking and the pattern than the actual obsessive thought don't you think? If we could just convince ourselves of that!

kernelsgirl · Post by **kernelsgirl** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 12:41 pm

here are my what ifs
what if say my ex bf's name in front of my bf now..?
what if i see my ex bf's and still feel something?
what if my bf gets bored at me....what if he lose interest at me and leave me?..
what if we get into an accident? what if we never get married?..
what if i get sick?
what if i am dying and its gonna be too late for me to do what i want?
what if i am racist?..do people find me rude?
what if i am a lesbian?
what if i am racist?
what if i am not reallly good at my job?
what if people talk behind my back?
what if i jump off the subway?
what if i lose control ?
what if i end up lonely and well maybe just die?
what if i kill myself?
what i if i will not be a good wife...a good parent...a good daugther..a good sister..a good freind ....a good person,
What if I GO CRAZY>>>>>> ETC>>ETC>>ETC>>

see...this will go one for about weeks..to the point where i cry myself to sleep or just maybe scream deeepp inside....i know the feeeling of being in control and i just have to keep in mind that it will past..and i need to live NOW and not think too ahead of myself...life is too short...and i know i am wasting precious time worrying about it...
i am still learning to cope and i am really seeing improvemnets everyday....it is true..that i have to take it one day at a time.....NO PAIN NO GAIN!!!!

Mello Nello · Post by **Mello Nello** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 1:11 pm

Skippy,
What if... you have a wonderful day?
What if... you have NO symptoms today?
What if... you face a fear a nothing happens?
What if... you smile all day long?
What if...You dont give anxiety a second thought ever again?
What if...You realize the dream you have been dreaming for years?
What if... You put a smile on someone elses face today?
What if...You are calm and relaxed from this point on?
What if.. You realize that all your negative What ifs are just that, NEGATIVE!!!!

Change you thinking to POSITIVE what ifs:)Nelly

Eek · Post by **Eek** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 2:01 pm

Skippy,

If you're looking for a real long list of what-ifs, there's a book called "What If" by A.J. Chavelier, PhD. She has a what-if for every day of the year.

There's a flip side to every what-if. Some people are afraid of failure and others of success. So she has some what-ifs of good things and some of bad. And then for each, she has a flip side and answers each what-if.

The book is here:

<A HREF="http://www.powells.com/biblio/61-1558743421-0" TARGET=_blank>http://www.powells.com/biblio/61-1558743421-0</A>

I'm not really recommending the book because I don't think we really need more what-ifs in our lives. But I think the point is that what-ifs are just projections into the future and since no one knows the outcome, the outcome can be either good or bad. And depending on how you look at it, the bad outcome can have some good consequences and the good outcome can have some negative ones.

Life is a mixed bag of good and bad. If we look for the good, we'll find it and if we look for the bad, we'll find that too.

Homus · Post by **Homus** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 2:14 pm

wow i am just learning so much about this crazy thing called anxiety. ive only had the "attacks" for a month now, but really seeing that ive had it for ever. i have what if's and didnt know it was just another part. i thought my what ifs were ridiculous and i was just making myself mentally crazy. so here goes...my what ifs (first one is my biggest fear)what if my husband cheats on me since i did it to him...i figured he owed me one even though he loved me enough to take me back when it was over.
what if i move to georgia and i find no jobs there either...he is getting tired of me not working.
what if i find a job and i cant cope...cuz thats why i really dont want one cuz im scared to death of it. i havent had one since 2000.
what if i turn out like my mom who is narcasistic and depressed but wont admit it...i dont know about that one im still wondering if i already am my mom.
what if i turn out like my sister who has full blown depression and has tried to kill herself...i do get depressed more than i care to admit cuz all i do is sit here waiting on my trucker husband to come home (so he can play on the internet and ignore me).
what if i get addicted to the pain pills that keep me from having such horrible stomach cramps...even though i think i already am.
what if i get so fat i cant leave the house some day...im worried about that cuz i have pcos which makes you gain weight like crazy.
what if i never get a good car that isnt always breaking down on me...im so tired of asking people and feeling like im bothering them.
man i could go on forever. makes me cry cuz i didnt realize i had so many what ifs and i really could go on......WOW

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 2:31 pm

Some of my what ifs are listed above... but IM jsut gonna go with it
WHAT IF....
I never get better
I faint
what if I haev a brain tomur
what if I die today, right now!
what if Im not having panic attcks and IM realy having seizures
what if I am really going insane
what if my daughter never gets themom that I want to be for her
what if i fail at everything....
what if I never have a relationship...
what if I have cancer, aids, MS, liver failure, chrones, ALS... (this list goes on and on)
what if I never get to enjoy my life because Im so rapped up in this?
I have a lot more, but that last one just motivated me to get off the computer
later all

bench525 · Post by **bench525** » Wed Jun 21, 2006 11:33 am

My what ifs are usually What if I hurt someone I love like my son or my wife? What if I never get better and have to live with this forever? I know I can get better as I have in the past. Its good to know others are experiencing some of the same things we are. God Bless guys!