Something to think about...

[CarolynEd.Dir.]

"If you avoid certain situations because you're worried about the outcome, you never get to learn what would have happened if you had faced those situations. You deprive yourself of the chance to see how you would have coped. When you decide to avoid, you experience a temporary state of relief, but you're also left feeling powerless and deflated, as if you can't control your own behavior. Eventually you become discouraged and disheartened, as a vague sense of feeling paralysed sets in. This is how avoidance slowly eats away your self-confidence over time...Push yourself to feel vulnerable--this allows you to learn that you can handle whatever happens, and that even the most difficult of emotions can't distroy you. We're all capable of feeling intense fear so we can escape life-threatening situations...But usually people avoid things that simply make them feel uncomfortable." From WOMEN WHO WORRY TOO MUCH, by Holly Hazlett-Stevens, PhD

[Guest]

Carolyn,
You are so right. I think this avoidance issue is the part of me that is truly preventing me from recovering. If I never allow myself to be in "uncomfortable" situations, then I will never really get to practice these new skills. The more I use them, the better I will become at using them thing. I thought I was making progress but I realized when I read this that I was simply avoiding those uncomfortable things in my life. Don't get me wrong I am so much better than I was but I am preventing myself from reaching my true potential here with this avoidance tactic. I am really going to try hard this week to do whatever I want to do without surveying every situation beforehand, and then just let what happens happen. If it's awkward or uncomfortable, I will practice my new skills. Talk about empowering. Thank you.
Julie

[Guest]

Carolyn

The avoidence for me started after my first panic attack. I was so afraid that if I was doing what I was doing when it happened it would happen again. I was driving when I had my firs panic attack, so I stoped driving, I would go in the car if someone eles was driving but then it started to happen when I was not driving. So I would not go in the car. And then it just snowballed. Till I reached the point where I had no life it was controling my life.

Until the day I stared fear and avoidence right in the face, thats when I took control.
That was the hardest part but if I did not do it and take a chance I would be right were I was, not living this prescious gift "LIFE".

Take small steps everyday, if you do not do it the first time so what try again and again until you do it. The more you do something the easier it gets.

Thanks Carolyn for a great post! I hope you are doing well.


Debbie