THH;
I think you are definately onto something with this idea. I have had the habit for years and years and years where I would just throw out information about something I felt good about and expect support from it. I didn't really think about it until now but no I didn't ask for what I needed and well just expected it. I guess I really did do it subconsciously in order to get approval if you think about it. I didn't really look at the why to it before. I still want to share positive things with people though with my ideas and such and now i'm feeling confused. What are your thoughts on this one?
I did like your response as to how you would handle that situation and yes it did clear it up. Ask for what you need. This is still very new to me and perhaps my new onion layer! That makes me wonder if anybody has posted anything on that thread.
Mike
The Challenge...Lesson 8
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
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NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
Here is today's video;
Hit me with your best shot!
Oh by the way Karen L I have not forgotten about you and me talking about the feared fantasy tech. I feel it is more appropriate in the next lesson.
Mcshope, I am still working on the communication thing, it is a process for me to really understand how it works but I think i'm starting to get it and if you click on the link at the bottom of one of my posts you can see how I'm working with it.
Mike
Hit me with your best shot!
Oh by the way Karen L I have not forgotten about you and me talking about the feared fantasy tech. I feel it is more appropriate in the next lesson.
Mcshope, I am still working on the communication thing, it is a process for me to really understand how it works but I think i'm starting to get it and if you click on the link at the bottom of one of my posts you can see how I'm working with it.
Mike
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
Mike,
Okay, let me see if I can get the right words. I think you should share positive things with people though your ideas. You have many great ideas and thoughts to share. We are all getting stuff out of your input. So you should continue to share what you would like.
For you personally, rather than to try (subconsciously)to lead them, or drop hints to them, when you have a need or want it may help to be direct. If your need is dinner, and you don't want to eat alone. You may call your friend and say I'm going to go( cuz you are planning on taking care of that need regardless) get some dinner are you interested in going with me?
Then they will say sounds good or they may say I already have eaten. Either way your going to dinner. You could also say I feel like I need some company for dinner we could visit while I eat. Or something like this. Like I say you are better with words.
Don't know if this may help with the confusion or not?
It maybe a part of you onion. I know it is part of mine.
I have a idea in my mind and in the past I have let other people sway me one way or the other. Mostly the other.(Let my needs be last or when ever) I am learning if I really want to do something or go some place I need to respect my self in order to complete what it is I need to do. By that I need to say out loud to whom ever, even if it is me, I'm getting my hair cut. If a friend says you don't need a hair cut. I could say well I guess I really don't need one today. When really I am thinking I would like to try a different style or cut.
OR I could say I'm getting it cut because I would like to try something new. I feel dumpy and it might make me feel better. Do you want to go, afterward we could have lunch or walk around a store? It could go either way, 1. sure what time, or 2. Well I have so many things to do I better stay home.
Did this help?
I forgot about the onion! LOL...Maybe we "should"lol...visit there~ ha.
I liked you video "fire away"! Pat Benatar is great.
Here is one for you Mike,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...CTdA&feature=related
Don't know if you ever heard of Fleetwood Mac. They were great in the 70-80's.
Your not alone!!! LOL...I still want to share positive things with people though with my ideas and such and now i'm feeling confused.
Okay, let me see if I can get the right words. I think you should share positive things with people though your ideas. You have many great ideas and thoughts to share. We are all getting stuff out of your input. So you should continue to share what you would like.
For you personally, rather than to try (subconsciously)to lead them, or drop hints to them, when you have a need or want it may help to be direct. If your need is dinner, and you don't want to eat alone. You may call your friend and say I'm going to go( cuz you are planning on taking care of that need regardless) get some dinner are you interested in going with me?
Then they will say sounds good or they may say I already have eaten. Either way your going to dinner. You could also say I feel like I need some company for dinner we could visit while I eat. Or something like this. Like I say you are better with words.
Don't know if this may help with the confusion or not?
It maybe a part of you onion. I know it is part of mine.
I have a idea in my mind and in the past I have let other people sway me one way or the other. Mostly the other.(Let my needs be last or when ever) I am learning if I really want to do something or go some place I need to respect my self in order to complete what it is I need to do. By that I need to say out loud to whom ever, even if it is me, I'm getting my hair cut. If a friend says you don't need a hair cut. I could say well I guess I really don't need one today. When really I am thinking I would like to try a different style or cut.
OR I could say I'm getting it cut because I would like to try something new. I feel dumpy and it might make me feel better. Do you want to go, afterward we could have lunch or walk around a store? It could go either way, 1. sure what time, or 2. Well I have so many things to do I better stay home.
Did this help?
I forgot about the onion! LOL...Maybe we "should"lol...visit there~ ha.
I liked you video "fire away"! Pat Benatar is great.
Here is one for you Mike,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...CTdA&feature=related
Don't know if you ever heard of Fleetwood Mac. They were great in the 70-80's.
Mike,
Thinking about your questions, I do not feel offended if someone didn't respond to one of my posts, especially when they express how busy they have been.
I understand that sometimes is not easy to respond to every post. Sometimes I just feel that I don't have anything in particular to contribute.
I do try to keep my responses positive because we are good in giving ourselves a hard time, and I think that every situation has a positive side.
I guess expressing our concern with missing post is simply a way to let everybody know that we care, and that we are still here.
Does this answers your questions?
Hope
Thinking about your questions, I do not feel offended if someone didn't respond to one of my posts, especially when they express how busy they have been.
I understand that sometimes is not easy to respond to every post. Sometimes I just feel that I don't have anything in particular to contribute.
I do try to keep my responses positive because we are good in giving ourselves a hard time, and I think that every situation has a positive side.
I guess expressing our concern with missing post is simply a way to let everybody know that we care, and that we are still here.
Does this answers your questions?
Hope
"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, it empties today of its strength." – Unknown
Mike,
Sometimes when people has not dealt with anxiety they don't have a clue of how important each step is, and how difficult it is to change the feelings we have. Usually I don't get into arguments, and I'm not saying that this is the best thing to do, I just let certain things go by.
I think your idea of going up the CN tower is a brave one. You are not talking about jumping from the CN tower with a parachute, right?... I think is a good idea to face your limitations. Honestly, I'm not sure that I am ready to face that limitation in particular.
Your friend probably has no idea of how to be empathic and understanding. Being a friend doesn't make him an expert on how to be empathic. I think is up to you to be the mature one in the relationship and understand that he still has a lot to learn... Remember the video, everybody has a story... Don't take it personally.
I hope this helped, don't let a negative comment to get in the way of your plans.
Hope
Sometimes when people has not dealt with anxiety they don't have a clue of how important each step is, and how difficult it is to change the feelings we have. Usually I don't get into arguments, and I'm not saying that this is the best thing to do, I just let certain things go by.
I think your idea of going up the CN tower is a brave one. You are not talking about jumping from the CN tower with a parachute, right?...
I think is a good idea to face your limitations. Honestly, I'm not sure that I am ready to face that limitation in particular.Your friend probably has no idea of how to be empathic and understanding. Being a friend doesn't make him an expert on how to be empathic. I think is up to you to be the mature one in the relationship and understand that he still has a lot to learn... Remember the video, everybody has a story... Don't take it personally.
I hope this helped, don't let a negative comment to get in the way of your plans.
Hope
"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, it empties today of its strength." – Unknown
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Mike--I'm sorry that your buddy didn't support you in going up the CN tower to overcome your fear of heights. He sounds a bit like my Dad in some ways, it makes perfect sense to go and do that experience. The only other way is if you were in a airforce pilot training program and used their simulator which that would be too expensive. And part of accomplishing the height deal is the exhilaration of climbing the stairs or taking the elevator for that experience.
I understand this because I took skydiving lessons and then went on our first jump being tethered to the plane. I was not ready to go when it was my turn, but I went. After 3 jumps with the Static line, I had heard enough war stories at the hanger/hangout that I did not take my free fall. I realized to myself that I could have more fun with less money skiing all day. This was too stressful for me.
As for the cat's nose, I can go to the your your link, but I have told Dh that the cat doesn't like it and he knows it but says that's the price the cats have to pay to live in our house and be comfy and warm.
I understand this because I took skydiving lessons and then went on our first jump being tethered to the plane. I was not ready to go when it was my turn, but I went. After 3 jumps with the Static line, I had heard enough war stories at the hanger/hangout that I did not take my free fall. I realized to myself that I could have more fun with less money skiing all day. This was too stressful for me.
As for the cat's nose, I can go to the your your link, but I have told Dh that the cat doesn't like it and he knows it but says that's the price the cats have to pay to live in our house and be comfy and warm.
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm