Okay so I have OCD, bad thoughts and all that and I feel unreal a lot. I know this is depersonalization but it feels strange. The way I look at things sometimes is dream like and not close to reality at all. I know what a sense of reality seems like but sometimes my mind is just strange...like my perspective on things gets really strange and I'll think of memories that gave me weird feelings from a long time ago...and also I had this very very gory dream last night that scared the death out of me and it was really really bad...I'm afraid I'm psychotic. And also you know how people have compulsions?? My compulsions are to touch things...count things...anything to do with the number 5. It usually means I have to tap my leg 5 times and to it again with the other hand...and then I have to do both 5 times. But one time I had a bad thought "What if my compulsion was to hurt someone" And so it was like "I have to hurt my dad" and I don't want to!! It was really scary and I was afraid I was going to do it. And lately I've been wanting to die cause my sense of reality is so scary and I've been really depressed...I don't want to kill myself and the thought scares me but I'm miserable and I feel like running and hiding and screaming...Please help :[
Is it normal to have weird outlooks on life?
Someone told me that it just means I have a creative-weird artisitic mind and I'm hoping it's that...does anyone else ever feel this weird sense of reality??
Please reply if you know what I'm talking about
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I NEED HELP I'M GETTING CONFUSED WITH REALITY...I HAD AN AWEFUL DREAM AND IM SCARED
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Guest
I have been a member of the StressCenter.com team for over 20 years. I lived with scary, ugly...thoghts for most of my life. Your thoughts are not scarier than others I've had or heard. And yes, you are Very creative-but when we are negative thinkers we create negative creative thoughts...make sense?
I hope you are working the program every day...the basics. I hope you are limiting the amount of time you spend spinning the negative, scary movies...change your mind = change your life. Change your mind = change your feelings.
Even writing about them over and over almost every day here on the forum is a negative activity. I'd like to see you start sharing with us the changes you are making in your thinking.
For example: "I'm afraid I'm psychotic." That would scare anyone!
How can you tell the truth in a comforting way? I might say, "That is just a big ugly thought. I have NO proof of that. I am in touch with reality. I know who I am and where I am. I have had thoughts like this before and they come to nothing. My doctors tell me I have some thinking challenges and I am sooo proud of myself for working on finding life management tools that will help me live a better thought life. I know the truth! I am a good and worthy person and Now I am going to clean out my purse! I am in charge of me! I respect me and I don't allow false, scary thoughts to control me. There is no danger -there is no emergency."
OK,I challenge others to add a positive paragraph for our friend...let's get busy in the positive. My best to all, Carolyn
I hope you are working the program every day...the basics. I hope you are limiting the amount of time you spend spinning the negative, scary movies...change your mind = change your life. Change your mind = change your feelings.
Even writing about them over and over almost every day here on the forum is a negative activity. I'd like to see you start sharing with us the changes you are making in your thinking.
For example: "I'm afraid I'm psychotic." That would scare anyone!
How can you tell the truth in a comforting way? I might say, "That is just a big ugly thought. I have NO proof of that. I am in touch with reality. I know who I am and where I am. I have had thoughts like this before and they come to nothing. My doctors tell me I have some thinking challenges and I am sooo proud of myself for working on finding life management tools that will help me live a better thought life. I know the truth! I am a good and worthy person and Now I am going to clean out my purse! I am in charge of me! I respect me and I don't allow false, scary thoughts to control me. There is no danger -there is no emergency." OK,I challenge others to add a positive paragraph for our friend...let's get busy in the positive. My best to all, Carolyn
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Guest
Hey Taylor,
Great advice above !!!!!!
As you wrote below ---------
"Is it normal to have weird outlooks on life?
Someone told me that it just means I have a creative-weird artisitic mind and I'm hoping it's that...does anyone else ever feel this weird sense of reality??"
Your not alone, lots of people tell me that I have a strange or different perspective of life or reality,but that's what makes you unique and special and it can be used to your advantage to help you realize that with your creative artistic talents and thoughts you can move in the right direction for yourself.I don't mind being weird because it reminds me that there is no one on earth the same as myself,just the same for you.We all are not perfect,but we all are sure special !!!!!!!!!
Sincerely,Sit
Great advice above !!!!!!
As you wrote below ---------
"Is it normal to have weird outlooks on life?
Someone told me that it just means I have a creative-weird artisitic mind and I'm hoping it's that...does anyone else ever feel this weird sense of reality??"
Your not alone, lots of people tell me that I have a strange or different perspective of life or reality,but that's what makes you unique and special and it can be used to your advantage to help you realize that with your creative artistic talents and thoughts you can move in the right direction for yourself.I don't mind being weird because it reminds me that there is no one on earth the same as myself,just the same for you.We all are not perfect,but we all are sure special !!!!!!!!!
Sincerely,Sit
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Guest
Taylor (((hugs)))
your post made me cry because I have had those EXACT feelings no joke. I too experience DR/DP and have had nightmares that ruin my days and scary scary scary thoughts. Of course all of that will cause depression. I always say to myself "You dont have to believe everything you think". It is true. Man the things i have thought were/are so bizzare but I try not to believe them. I also worried I was going psychotic and WHAT IF i hurt someone i loved or anyone. I dont want to do that. I understand when you say you want to die but dont want to kill yourself. Thats how I felt too my friend. You are not alone. Carolyn is a wonderful , smart lady its nice she replied to you. Like she said, being afraid of being psychotic would scare anyone. It scares me!! My therapist explained it to me SOOOO GOOD. He says if I was crazy i wouldnt be aware of it so much like how i am. The activities in the program helped me a lot. I used ti have a small note book writing all my negative thoughts and than writing a positive realistic statement afterwards. Let me tell you I did that so much now i dont have to write it down. Now I say it in my head without even thinking that I need to say a positive. I just do when I think of a negative scary thought. I just say that is just a silly thought and its just my anxiety and is not true. I know it is hard. It takes time and practice practice practice. Please know you are not alone and you will not hurt anyone nor are you psychotic. Your post sounds like a very intelligent person writing about their anxiety not a crazy person at all. I was soooooo scared of my derealization too, Taylor. I too would get memories from a while ago and it would make me feel so weird. It was funny you said that because I was like ME TOO!!! DR is nothing to be scared of its just totally uncomfortable is all and the more we focus on it the worse it seems to be. What really helped me with my scary thoughts too was my anti depressant. But you can do it without one for sure. I know you will be just fine!
your post made me cry because I have had those EXACT feelings no joke. I too experience DR/DP and have had nightmares that ruin my days and scary scary scary thoughts. Of course all of that will cause depression. I always say to myself "You dont have to believe everything you think". It is true. Man the things i have thought were/are so bizzare but I try not to believe them. I also worried I was going psychotic and WHAT IF i hurt someone i loved or anyone. I dont want to do that. I understand when you say you want to die but dont want to kill yourself. Thats how I felt too my friend. You are not alone. Carolyn is a wonderful , smart lady its nice she replied to you. Like she said, being afraid of being psychotic would scare anyone. It scares me!! My therapist explained it to me SOOOO GOOD. He says if I was crazy i wouldnt be aware of it so much like how i am. The activities in the program helped me a lot. I used ti have a small note book writing all my negative thoughts and than writing a positive realistic statement afterwards. Let me tell you I did that so much now i dont have to write it down. Now I say it in my head without even thinking that I need to say a positive. I just do when I think of a negative scary thought. I just say that is just a silly thought and its just my anxiety and is not true. I know it is hard. It takes time and practice practice practice. Please know you are not alone and you will not hurt anyone nor are you psychotic. Your post sounds like a very intelligent person writing about their anxiety not a crazy person at all. I was soooooo scared of my derealization too, Taylor. I too would get memories from a while ago and it would make me feel so weird. It was funny you said that because I was like ME TOO!!! DR is nothing to be scared of its just totally uncomfortable is all and the more we focus on it the worse it seems to be. What really helped me with my scary thoughts too was my anti depressant. But you can do it without one for sure. I know you will be just fine!