Boring??(Please don't just read and not reply)

lateralus_jenn · Post by **lateralus_jenn** » Wed Dec 24, 2008 9:53 pm

so if you haven't read any of my posts before, I am diagnosed with OCD, based around fears of Contamination, and for the last few months it's scary thoughts and images of harm. What I want to know is, lately when I try to think of something happy, or my past when I didn't have these thoughts, it's like my ocd tries to tell me my life would be boring if I wasn't going through what I am going through now. I really don't like this at all, and when I do think of happy thoughts from the past and cycle through them, I think yes I want that, but when they pop up without me trying it's like Boom, there's the ocd trying to tell me I don't want it and that I don't like it and that it would be boring. I figure it's like most other ocd thoughts, it pops up, you add importance to it, and then when a thought reminds you of it you go searching for that negative one you added importance to. At least I hope so, I really really hate this, I'm trying to Enjoy my Christmas and trying to stay enlightened but it's hard, Especially with this new train of thought. Can anyone relate? I really need help with this, I really do, so please don't just read and ignore, this happened with my last post and I'm starting to feel lost and like no one cares.

LUG · Post by **LUG** » Thu Dec 25, 2008 4:19 am

I don't have any compulsions so I can't really relate, but I have discussed the idea of being "special" with my therapist. He says that part of the problem with letting go of problems like OCD is that it makes people feel special and different to have a problem that other people don't have. I wonder if this is what your brain is saying. Lucinda covers this in her "secondary gains" section.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 25, 2008 4:41 am

I can't offer any advice on this either as I don't have OCD. Doogiet however brought up a very good point regarding the secondary gains. It would be worth looking into.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 25, 2008 8:50 am

I DON'T HAVE OCD BUT I COULD HAVE LEFT MY MOM'S [HAD MY LAST PANIC ATTACK THERE] WITH MY AUNT BUT REMEMBERED LUCINDA SAYING FACE YOUR FEARS IF YOU WANT TO GET BETTER AND I STAYED ANOTHER HOUR EVEN THOUGH IT WAS HARD.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jan 24, 2009 11:20 am

Hey Jen!I feel bad i haven't talked to u for soooo long nor have i been on here. I wanted to tell u that u can still call me whenever u want! I am still screwing myself by drinking all the time and feeling aweful the next day. Ridiculous! i also have marital issues etc... if u ever want to talk call me! xoxox T

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Feb 04, 2009 8:16 pm

I suffered from severe OCD in high school. I walked back and forth from the bathroom 25 times before I went to bed, and if that didn't feel right, 50 times. I washed my hands until they bled. I counted things all the time. I've gotten a lot better since then, but I still have to fight the thoughts sometimes. I totally understand what you're saying. Why can't we be obsessive with positive thoughts? It's almost as if OCD is always destructive. I can say that I've learned a few things. One is that if you're creative, and I'm learning a lot of OCD sufferers are, you tend to want to "be different" than other people. You want to "stand out," even if its in your own mind. For some reason, we justify OCD because of that. And we're addicted to making things hard for ourselves, almost like we're afraid of being bored by things being too easy. Once we get okay with not having to be excited by making things hard for ourselves, we can chill out a little and not beat ourselves up. And some if it is fear of things being okay. We think, Why not make things hard for us now, and make ourselves used to things being hard, because one day they might be hard and we should be prepared?
I also have thoughts of harm, though the program is helping. The OCD tells us we "should" think those thoughts for some reason. But we don't have to.
I don't know if this helps, but at least there's someone else who understands at least a little!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 5:39 pm

Hi, I've suffered with ocd since I was a kid. Didn't realize it until I was in my early twenties.Washed my hands till they bled ,it took forever before I felt that they were clean enough.This is nuts, but I even started washing 1 finger at a time(it's ok if you laugh)then a thorough cleaning under each fingernail every time I washed my hands.

Showers took 40 minutes.Had to scrub each spot 8 times before moving to to the next.Destroyed the septic while I was at it,(an interjection of a little humor here &there is vitally important I think),but it,s true.Brushing teeth ,10 times each spot and so on.

Still struggle with cleaning the house.I haven't completely given up,but I,m exhausted due to the ocd and I have slacked off in this area.In my mind I decide on how a task must be done and if I attempt to do otherwise I,m misserable.I can,t get myself to do it differently than how I feel compelled to.

For some odd reason I tend to do things in a long drawn out painstaking manner.

I touture myself with thoughts of,it isn,t done right unless it takes a long time to accomplish.

I can relate very much so to your dilema.

I think the combination of the desire to overcome this illness ,shear exhaustion and prayer are responsible for the progress I have made.

I'm on lesson 2 of" Attacking Anxiety" and depression.Depression and ocd are my #1 issues.I,m hoping this program will also be effective for the ocd.I think it will.

Now you know your not alone.Look into the program if you haven,t already.

The best to you.Liz

epa · Post by **epa** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:50 pm

I was addicted to psychics and then I read a book called psychic junkie and the girl in there had my same exact problem and her dr diagnosed her with ocd so I think i may be, but i'm not in the contamination kind of way, But my suggestion to you is just say OK so im bored,,,,so what

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 3:19 am

I have a mild case of ocd, i need to check that the door is locked about 5 times and then i need to check that the alarm is set about the same amount of times before i can go to bed. i don't know , or even claim to know what it must be like for you, but as i whent through the program and i learned how to relax and slow my mind down, i was able to stop doing some of them. I still check the alarm 2 or 3 times, but i'm getting better. as far as the thoughts are concerned, i have the same problem. I can't seem to find any thing funny in my kids falling from a balcony, or getting hit by a car, so i just tell myself that they're safe and and with thier mother. I tell myself that it's not real, and is just my thoughts distracting me! For the most part, this workes just fine. i guess everyone is different and you'll just have to figure out what works for you. For now, just try and focus on being relaxed and your mind will find the way!!