Losing control?

Floyd · Post by **Floyd** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 4:21 pm

Alright, I was at work and at times I get these nervous attacks where I think I’m on the verge of compulsively doing something bad, like touching or hitting someone.

This one moment, I saw someone walking my way and the thought of touching them came into my head. I started to become more and more nervous as I got closer to the person. I started to have thoughts like “do it, do it.”

I also felt my arm move slowly towards their way. I didn’t touch them, I don’t think but what freaks me out is that I think I was trying to fulfill that compulsion. I’ve had many of these before, but I felt very sick to my stomach and nervous.

Am I losing control or did I lose control just then and there? Was I trying?

Can someone help?

beepster · Post by **beepster** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 4:40 pm

HI,

Have you been diagnosed with anything. Are you doing the program. Do you have OCD? Just trying to see how I can help.

Floyd · Post by **Floyd** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 5:03 pm

Yes, I have OCD.

beepster · Post by **beepster** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 5:15 pm

Are you taking medication for it? I was on Luvox for a long time and it was wonderful. But I had to come off it because of my depression, they had to put me on an MAOI and you can't take and SSRI with and MAOI.

Floyd · Post by **Floyd** » Thu Mar 12, 2009 6:02 pm

I'm not on medication.

highanxiety · Post by **highanxiety** » Fri Mar 13, 2009 5:16 am

Yes!! Finally i have found soemone who also has this fear. I have all of a sudden developed this phobia because I have been going through stress. Now I have got this fear of suddenly doing something spontanious like lashing out at someone or punching them. I feel so out of control... I HATE IT!! What goes through my mind is shall i punch them? will they think im crazy? how will everybody react if i punch them? I get nervous at work in the office especially when someone walks up to unexpectedley me to ask a question or give me a file or something. I have to breathe and count to 10 all while trying not to obsess about punching them! I have not had this long so i am still trying to deal with it. But at the moment its like an obsession going round and round my mind. I dont want to see my friends i dont want to go to work. I used to be such a socialble person and now im afraidd of everybody. I know exactly what your going through. If you ever want to chat with me or message me please let me know maybe we can help each other through this! hugs.x

Floyd · Post by **Floyd** » Fri Mar 13, 2009 8:27 am

Yes, this kind of obsession can be very disabling and fearful. I'll message you sometime and we can help each other out.

not · Post by **not** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 4:26 pm

It is a reaction to stress. If you get the stress under control your mind will not need such a powerful distraction to keep reminding you that you are under stress, and are thinking negatively. Look at it this way have you ever seen a really bad commercial, the kind that you just cannot believe they actually put on the air because it was so outrageously stupid and far fetched? There is a reason for that and it is to jump at you with all of its stupidity so that you will NEVER EVER FORGET IT! And they are the ones we remember most. Your obsessive scary thoughts are exactly the same way, they are not interested in the trivial stuff in your life, they want you to pay attention to them like a child throwing a tantrum so that you will do something about it. So they scare up these worse case scenarios and throw them at you and you have no choice but to be frightened by them, that is why we talk about them because they are suppose to scare us to get us to understand that something we are doing in our lives, be-it not dealing with conflict well, not standing up for ourselves, not setting healthy boundaries etc..etc. is not working and needs your ATTENTION right now. So these scary thoughts are honestly just a by product of the real issue which is how you talk to yourself and how you deal with stress. Once the core issues have been addressed the scary thoughts will not only not come anymore but you probably won't have much more than a vague remembrance about them later on. So understand that the scary thoughts are just a distraction and that is all they are and they are designed for the sole purpose of scaring you. Kind of comical once you are able to see them for what they really are, and then you can go one step further and challenge them and say "Is this the best you've got, you have got to be kidding me" or "Bring it on, give me all you've got" and then they will know they cannot scare you anymore and they will quit trying because there simply is no point if they are not effective anymore. The very fact that they scare you is the very fact as to why they exist in the first place. To scare and distract you, basically a wake up call and nothing more.

not · Post by **not** » Sat Mar 21, 2009 4:51 pm

Floyd
You may have thought about fulfilling the compulsion but I seriously doubt you would ever actually carry it out. What I find interesting about posting on here as that the ones that have gone through the program look at the posts of some who have not and nothing that is ever said shocks us. Nothing no matter how outrageous (well okay within reason I guess) but seriously we have had the same feelings, fears, compulsions, scenarios. The famous what-if, what-was, what will be what will never be and what the hell is wrong with me thinking and distortions that has ever come down the railway, roadway or pike depending on where you live. So bring it on guys we are ready for you, we have been there done that loved the T-shirt (okay really hated the T-shirt)-on obsessive scary thoughts.

Floyd · Post by **Floyd** » Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:30 am

Thanks for the assurance. I believe it was just a nervous reaction to the thoughts.