Obsessive Thoughts Messing Up Vacation

Christian73 · Post by **Christian73** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 9:49 am

So I'm on vacation in Myrtle Beach, SC. It's so beautiful here. I'm with my boyfriend, best friend and mother - three of my "safe" people. We've been having fun, but I'm having an obsessive thought. Basically, we're staying on the 10th Floor of this resort hotel and it has a large balcony off the living area and master bedroom (where I'm sleeping).

Now, I've long been afraid of heights. But it's never been debilitating. Over the last few days, I've been struggling with an obsessive thought. Basically, the thought is that I will suddenly jump or fall off the balcony. Now, I know that this is an obsessive thought because it's scary to me. I don't want to jump or fall. But I can't get this thought out of my head. I've told myself this won't happen; that I'm surrounded by my safe people, etc. Then I started thinking what if I woke up late at night when everyone is in bed and felt compelled to jump?

I'm doing my best to breathe and ask what this thought could be covering up, but, so far, I'm still freaking out a bit.

Has this ever happened to you? How did you deal with it?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 11:45 am

Christian,
I know how a scary thought can ruin a good time...but try to remember whenever you feel good, and you can look at these times and think, "what was I thinking?" When you have the thought DO NOT dwell on it or argue with it, just let it come and go...give it no attention. My vacation in July was partially ruined by scary thoughts, I am getting alot better at not taking them seriously. Also, you could ask the hotel for a lower floor? Good luck and try your best to relax and laugh a little, I know its hard, but we have to start somewhere.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Aug 29, 2009 4:14 am

i struggle with the same thoughts. hurting myself or others. try n relax, breathe and rationalize. u have no want to jump, ur happy and its just a scary thought. think about the present the fun ur having n occupy ur mind n body with positives.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Aug 29, 2009 7:38 am

The most important thing I can encourage you with is to be gentle with yourself. You said yourself that you know it's just an obsessive thought so that's great! But, that crappy feeling will probably persist for a while longer. The more you can practice welcoming it in and gently telling yourself that it's only a thought and also remember that you're allowed to be disappointed that it's bugging you, the easier it'll actually be.
It's not what we want to happen; we want to have a grand time and not ever think uncomfortable things. But, for now, for today, this is what we have to work with and fighting against it makes it feel worse.

One more thing, regardless of how disappointed or scared you feel, do what you would want to do if you weren't feeling that way. I mean, if you want to go out and have ice cream, go do it. Don't let that junk have power of you. Get ticked off about it some (but not so much at yourself).

Hot Rod · Post by **Hot Rod** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 9:41 am

Thanks so much for all your kind words and advice. I've been able to push through the obsessive thoughts and have a really good time.

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