Intrusive scary thoughts target loved ones, why?
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Guest
Is there an easier way to convince your self that it's only a thought caused by anxiety and nothing else? I've been trying to use positive thinking and it seems to work for some while but then it all returns. Is there an effective way to just have these thoughts run through your mind without reacting to them? I've read that what you have to do is to let them pass by and don't react to them but it's been extremely difficult for me not to react on them. It's so scary.
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Guest
There is no easy way through this. There will be discomfort as you work on yourself. Make that discomfort ok.
There is something you can do to move this along if you choose to do it. You can start saying, "Whatever" to your thoughts. All of them that scare you. Or you can say, "Fine, do your worst." I know you won't like this response but you must take your life back. This scare voice is having fun at YOUR expense. We trust you won't do any harm to your child. We have been there. Now you must learn for yourself that you can trust you.
Whatever.
Fine. Do your worst.
Accept that the thought is your scare voice and nothing else. Allow the thoughts to come and go by putting yourself in observation mode. Just watch. Do your best to not react. When you start to react just bring your focus to your breathing. Breathe normally in and out and go back to watching the thoughts. Practice a few minutes a day. Extend your practices to longer periods of time.
There are other tools but start with this one first.
You can do it. You can handle this scare voice. People who don't have ocd or anxiety disorder have these thoughts as well, but they dismiss them. That is your goal. To dismiss them unemotionally. Be patient with yourself. You'll get there. In fact, get a doll that represents you the child and hold her when you are scared. Tell her you are taking care of the situation. It's OK to be scared but it's not necessary. This is just a bogus voice having a good time at our expense. Tell her. Comfort her. Stop beating yourself up.
There is something you can do to move this along if you choose to do it. You can start saying, "Whatever" to your thoughts. All of them that scare you. Or you can say, "Fine, do your worst." I know you won't like this response but you must take your life back. This scare voice is having fun at YOUR expense. We trust you won't do any harm to your child. We have been there. Now you must learn for yourself that you can trust you.
Whatever.
Fine. Do your worst.
Accept that the thought is your scare voice and nothing else. Allow the thoughts to come and go by putting yourself in observation mode. Just watch. Do your best to not react. When you start to react just bring your focus to your breathing. Breathe normally in and out and go back to watching the thoughts. Practice a few minutes a day. Extend your practices to longer periods of time.
There are other tools but start with this one first.
You can do it. You can handle this scare voice. People who don't have ocd or anxiety disorder have these thoughts as well, but they dismiss them. That is your goal. To dismiss them unemotionally. Be patient with yourself. You'll get there. In fact, get a doll that represents you the child and hold her when you are scared. Tell her you are taking care of the situation. It's OK to be scared but it's not necessary. This is just a bogus voice having a good time at our expense. Tell her. Comfort her. Stop beating yourself up.
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Guest
Does anyone have obsessive scary thoughts, but they focus on WHAT THEY MIGHT HAVE DONE? I always obsess on did I do something wrong, hurt someone, commit a crime, and need to CHECK, CHECK and CHECK again. It seems to escalate with fear, added work stress, etc. But I can never prove that I did something wrong.