Scary thoughts about hurinting myself or child

Twisted Noodle · Post by **Twisted Noodle** » Sat Apr 04, 2009 4:45 am

Hi there. I have been suffering for a few months with these crazy scary thoughts. They always seem to be about hurting my daughter or myself. I literelly thought I was going crazy. I seem to be afraid around my husbands gun. I have asked him to put all the guns away and get very freaked out when it is in my view thinking what if I grab that gun and shoot myself or my family (daughter). These thoughts have physically made me ill and made me think I was on the verge of snapping. This site has been great for me to read up on this. I have been diagnosed with GAD with some forms of Obsesseive Compulsive thoughts. I have been going to a counselor who has been great with me and am feeling better then I was. The thoughts still come and go but I am able to try and poke fun at them and say "these are just crazy thoughts and I am not going to act on them". anyone have anynore positive insight on these thoughts of hurting someone we love. Thanks

rose_thorn98 · Post by **rose_thorn98** » Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:44 pm

Twisted Noodle...I sincerely believe that you are giving these scary obsessive thoughts too much weight!!!! You would not be scared of doing these things, if you were going to actually do them....

You need to learn how to trust yourself...You are not going to act out on these thoughts....You are obsessing over things that will never happen...

I remember a time in my life when I was terrified of knives...I would hide them from myself...I would think, "What if I got up in the night and hurt myself with that knife?"

I overcame these scary thoughts by just accepting them for what they actually are...Scary thoughts...nothing more...

Now, that I look back, I actually laugh about this...Of course, I wasn't going to get up in my sleep and hurt myself!!!!! I love living to much to do that to myself!!!

I hope that someday you can find some humor in the scary thoughts you think...Your thoughts cannot hurt you in any shape, form, or fashion.
You are not your thoughts...You are your actions...And, you will NOT act on these scary thoughts...I promise...God Bless!!!

Shifrah · Post by **Shifrah** » Sat Apr 04, 2009 10:51 pm

This subject is in session 10 and your thoughts are NOT unusual. Many people go through the same thought process. If this is really bad, try listening to session 10 so you don't feel so alone about these thoughts.

Going2getbetter · Post by **Going2getbetter** » Tue Apr 07, 2009 6:40 am

I have been reading some of the stories on this site, I actually stumbled on this site by accident. For about 7 years I have had this terrible secret I was having terrible thoughts about my children. The guilt I have felt with these thoughts have been tremendous, I can not tell you. I have made myself ill, thought I was abnormal and have been soo distressed and frighted...what happens if I loose control and hurt them. You name it I have thought it. I am a single parent and like all of us in this mad world juggling a million different things at once. I love my children. I am going to continue to read the stories at last I can see I am not the only one.

lucie · Post by **lucie** » Tue Apr 07, 2009 7:22 am

I have had all of these, knives, kids thoughts, etc. It is the OCD. My husband loves to kid with me, and tells me when I freak out and finally confess my thoughts to him, I realize how ridiculous they sound. But in my mind, wow it seems so real. You might want to start journaling. I just started again, and I found some from a year ago after doing the program, and recognize my patterns of thinking.

Parenting is hard. It takes a lot of patience, understanding, teaching and patience, patience, patience. If you are a single parent, know that you can come to this site for support any time. I give you a lot of credit, it's not an easy task. What I found helpful is to turn off the TV at night and read instead. Watching the news and cable shows really increases the anxiety.

Dianalynn13 · Post by **Dianalynn13** » Tue Apr 07, 2009 9:25 am

I believe we have scary thoughts about the people we love the most and the exact opposite to who we are as people. If we weren't essentially good people, such scary thoughts wouldn't be so scary!

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Tue Apr 07, 2009 11:08 am

This is the nature of obsessive scary thinking. It hits where we hurt the most - people we love, animals we love, anything that means something precious to us. It's just the nature of it. There is a way to heal from this. Exposure therapy. Talk to your therapist about it. It is really worth it to go through this. It's helpful to go through it with a professional because it is scary, but its scare is temporary as you move through the thing you fear. You can keep your fear (which will NEVER turn into a reality, but it'll be a pesty thing to you) or you can expose to it and learn to not fear it anymore - hence moving on with your life.

Freedom from Fear by Dr. Howard Liebgold deals specifically with OCD and exposure therapy. Beautiful guidelines on how to proceed.

You are normal. You will not hurt your daughter. You are not alone with this kind of fear, and you can heal from it so it won't haunt you any longer.

Telling yourself "It is just your ocd" is very helpful. Then after you do that, do your best to keep present. Get busy. Don't ruminate and talk and talk and talk to that part of you. Make your statement and then be done. Move on with your day.

There is a lot of support here. Read all the past posts on ocd and scary thinking. They will help to calm and reassure you.

Twisted Noodle · Post by **Twisted Noodle** » Tue Apr 21, 2009 12:51 pm

Thank you so much for all the great advice. Please keep it coming. This anxiety thing really stinks. I am a fun loving person that does not want to have these thoughts. I sometimes wake up at night and think "what if i go crazy and do somthing horrible" and then the anxiety starts. These thoughts about me and my daughter have calmed down some. I just want them to go away completely. Please help reasure me that I am not going to act on these stupid thoughts. My counselor told me to try and make fun of the thoughts and know that I am a good person. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Going2getbetter · Post by **Going2getbetter** » Tue May 05, 2009 4:28 am

I have been reading the above articles and it is very reassuring that I am not the only one who experiences these types of thoughts. If I am totally honest I have been thinking that I am abnormal and totally off my head and going mad. It has been terrible when they enter my head and very frightening so I totally see where twisted noodle is coming from. You feel very ashamed that you are having these thoughts especially about your children, you can not talk to anyone as you feel it is such a taboo subject and your children will be taken off you. I have noticed that mine come and go, they do not come that often but when they do they scare me. I like the advice of not giving them the attention they need to take over your life, one way which I am currently trying is to tell myself I am ridiculous and laugh it off, whether that will help I do not know but I am prepared to try anything.