I feel like I am losing my mind--Help

[diva]

Hi

Not long after I go through a heavy depression/anxiety time I start having so many scary thoughts. They seem to always stem with going crazy since that seems to be my biggest fear. Some of my latest obsessions are as follows:

Last night I got an overwhelming feeling that I would snap completely lose it and kill my family or hurt my cat. It was so scary. I tried to just tell myself I was tired and felt overwhelmed

I obsess that I am inside my body looking out and its like my mind tells me that this is not normal. Or, sometimes that I can talk to myself in my head and I feel like that is not normal. It's almost like my mind takes normal things and makes me feel it is not normal.

Sometimes I feel very sensitive to sounds and some can feel disturbing to me.

Last week, for about 15 minutes, I thought of how often we blink and then bam,I thought "what if I never stop thinking of how I blink my eyes" and then I was stuck on being aware of blinking constantly and that's all I could concentrate on and I just said "oh well, and kept to my business" and somehow got over it.

I hate these neurotic obsessive scary thoughts and one always replaces another if I get over it and I just feel like I am losing my mind. How do I heal from this?? I have no idea

I have gone through some of this or similar things in other anxiety episodes but it always scares me. I can't seem to let go of the one about feeling "inside" my body. I hate this!! I need some support from someone

[**It's A New Day**]

You are not alone!! I have been exactly where you are! I have been a part of this board for over 5 years but for some reason when they restructured it I cannot login with my old account info. I had some disturbing thoughts about hurting/killing my kids pop into my mind and that was what pushed me over the anxiety edge and provoked me to go through this program. You can get through all of this if you just really focus on stopping the thoughts and not giving them any merit. I know that this is easier said than done since they are so offensive and they go against everything that we stand for. You have to remember that you will NOT act on the thoughts and that the only reason you are afraid of them is because you are giving them the attention that they need to grow into fears. Everyone has thoughts that are disturbing from time to time but most people just shrug them off and give them no attention. We are so sensitive to our thoughts that we tend to grab onto them and try to figure out what is wrong with us. Everytime (even if it is every 2 seconds at first) that a thought comes into your head STOP the thought and replace it with something else. It takes time as our brains keep throwing things at us to see if we will get scared, but it does fade. Like all habits, negative and scary thinking takes time to eliminate. Keep us posted on your progress through the program!!!!
Chrystal

[supportingeachother]

I am in a great support group through my insurance and they are using the latest treatments for OCD which is exposure therapy. For those of us who are "what if'ers" it means sitting with the thoughts and letting the anxiety run its course. It is very challenging and difficult, but if you sit with the thoughts when you feel strong enough to do so (with family, friends etc) they eventually lose their power and fade out. It is called starving your anxiety. OCD is a bully that you have to stick up to and say, "ha! you are back, but you can't scare me, I am going to watch these ugly thoughts pass by until they fade out. They always seem to come back (off and on) but they often change (different worries) the point is to acknowledge them "there goes my OCD again" and be aware that it is OCD and not anything more. The fear and facts exercise works good too. This is when you think about the fear you are having and then start thinking about what "evidence" or facts you have (if any) that would make your fact real. For example, "I fear I will lose control and go crazy.." Facts: I have never "gone crazy" before even though I may have felt this way several times Fact: There are plenty of things in my life to prove that I am not crazy such as...Fact: Just because I may have made some bad decisions in my life that does not mean I am crazy... You see where I am going. It is like bringing yourself to the reality of your situation and out of your OCD cloud. Hope this helps...

[livelife]

i've obsessed over little thinks like that "blinking" some ridiculous things that i feel are sooo annoying and i just feel so bad. i remember worrying about how straight my back had to be for days!!!
i'd worry about keeping it straight because i didnt want it to hunchback later in my life...
its horrible. but we just have to get through it and fill our mind with positive thoughts i guess... i just started the program this week and i'm still going at it because i dont know where else to turn ive had anxiety and a reallyyyyyyyy deep depression :/

[NeverQuit]

To put up that STOP sign is so important, and probably the hardest part. Replacing the thought with something positive, and soothing, is so important too. I still struggle with this, but I have gotten much better at dismissing the scary thoughts. The important thing is to realize that OUR BRAINS WANT TO DO THIS, it's a BAD HABIT, and we have to stick at the HARD WORK in order to break it.