Reassurance

[willy1111]

Hi everyone,
I just need advice, and a little help if you wouldn't mind sharing.

For a couple of years I suffered through anxiety and depression. I purchased Lucindas program (which works by the way), and overcame my condition. For nearly 6 years I was anxiety and depression free.

I guess I got over stressed, got a thought into my head about hurting others and myself again and voila --back into the vicious cycle of this nervous habit.

I am almost certain this is anxiety, and I am sure a bit of depression (anxiety disorders are depressing according to Lucinda)

However, I have had this nasty fear I might be bipolar. I saw a counselor, a psychologist and 2 general practitioners and they all said no. I have taken those tests online, which weren't helpful at all, but they came out negative. I sleep normally, I get tired normally, and all my friends and family say I behave normally, but I just need reassurance if you can offer it.

I sometimes feel like I have a handle on everything and I feel good, and then in a couple of days I start feeling anxious and depressed again (at least I think it's anxiety and depression). It's an up and down thing at times. Does anxiety go up and down? Are some days or weeks easier than others?

I would appreciate anyone's comment on the matter and finally put it to rest that I don't have bipolar disorder. I am terrified of that condition.

Thank you.

[Guest]

I have had the exact same fears you are having now. I just got over thinking I was bipolar too. My cycles are the same exact as yours.. some days GREAT and others the fears are stronger. The fear of hurting myself sneaks up on me quite often which for me is ridiculous, but I just can't shake the 'what if'. I am happily married, successful, and two beautiful kids and honestly things could not be better. I know this anxiety and depression are the OCD. There's no doubt. The only choice I have is to say 'yep, I know exactly what this is' then attack it the best way I can.. which is the ERP and CBT. I am sorry this came back to you, but be strong.. it's an opportunity for growth my optimism says! Thanks too by the way.. when these thoughts hit me in November of last year, your older posts really helped me a lot.

[Guest]

Thank you for your response.
I can certainly relate. I have a great life. So many hobbies, I love the arts, an avid reader and I consider myself to be a very positive person. I have a wonderful family, great friends and try to enjoy life as best as I can.

But those fears of going crazy, and the other thoughts previously mentioned are hard to deal with. I try to distract myself, but sometimes it just gradually comes on slowly until I am in a high anxiety episode. I know it won't hurt me, but it is certainly distracting when I need to focus on school work, and my job, not to mention my son, and my wife.
But yes, this is not bipolar, I sleep normally, I don't have episodes of major mood swings (everyone has mood swings, but what I am talking about are extreme hyper-active to major depressive mood swings, which I don't have). It's only anxiety.
Thank you for reassuring me. I am certain I can now put thisfear behind me and keep working on the others.

Thank you.