Does anyone go through this??

justgettingby · Post by **justgettingby** » Tue Jun 08, 2010 5:50 am

My anxiety hit the roof this last year. OCD thoughts about hurting loved ones was a NEW one for me! It brought my life DOWN. I couldn't even look at my loved ones without a thought crossing my mind. IT would paralyze me! Until I did some research, I found out it was part of anxiety. I've learned where they come from and how they originate which has lessened my fear, but I feel that my creative mind keeps manifesting my anxiety a new way. For example, when I'm making decisions...if I decide one way, I start feeling light headed, shoulders tense up and a tremendous DOUBT sets in. Then I ruminate about it for the rest of the day. I know I'm doing this to myself, the question is WHY? WHY DO MUCH DOUBT? Every time I try to fight this feeling, it just gets worse...

Anybody going through this?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jun 08, 2010 6:47 am

Oh yeah, I go through that big time. I can confuse the hell out of myself sometimes. I doubt that I know right from wrong. I think if I'll miss my parents when I die, and sometimes it's like I can't answer the question. This last year, I rooted for the New Orlean Saints football team. During the middle of the season, I doubted that I even wanted them to win the game. It was like I convinced myself of this nonsense. I understand what you mean, entirely.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jun 09, 2010 1:15 am

Yes, I know exactly what you are feeling. I too was hit with these scary thoughts in December out of no where! I am still working on it. I started seeing an OCD specialist and he is helping me to understand what OCD is and does. It's definitely a "doubting disease" as they say. I have good days and bad days but thankfully the good days are increasing now. I know on the otherside of these scary thoughts will be yet another obsession to replace it and learning as much as I can and facing my fears is the best thing I can do. I have always obsessed and I honestly never understood why other people could just let it go and I was losing sleep over it. Now after 25 years of this, I have my answer and the answer came after the scary thoughts. I know everything happens for our highest good and I can't wait for that OCD vacation that is due anytime now! Good luck and keep educating yourself and facing those fears

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jun 09, 2010 6:42 am

I've been going through this for about 7 months now. It bothered me so much at first that I had anxiety more than ever. I would play with my little dog, and get so excited while playing sort of rough with her, and the thought of just turning psycho and beating her on the head suddenly would pop into my head. Then I start to feel sick. Then I obsess over it, and wonder what it would feel like to just go through with it. Then I doubt if I'm mentally stable or not. Does this sound familiar at all? It sucks doesn't it. I hate you are going through it, but it helps me to hear other stories that are similar to mine. "Now i'm doubting on whether or not I really care if you are going through this" My mind is screwed up. Please don't take that personally, I just confuse myself a lot.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jun 09, 2010 12:05 pm

Thanks for the laugh.. you just cracked me up! Yes, I know exactly what you are going through. I question whether I am mentally stable sometimes hourly... but at least daily. I have also had scary thoughts about my pets. I seem to take on what other people say is their scary thought too and that makes me not want to read anymore books or forums, but I have to face the fears or they will GROW stronger... It's just part of the process. We're getting stronger by the day just educating our selves and being there for each other. Thanks again

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jun 09, 2010 4:01 pm

Hi Guys I want you to know that you can do it! Force those positive thoughts in your head all day! My panic attack seemed to come out of no where but the more I study I realize that I have been obsessing all my life. We owe it to ourselves to get our lives back. It hurts like heck but we have to remember that it is all in our heads. And we can control our thoughts. I have started practicing positive affirmations while I go through the lessons. I also pray. If you don't know much about positive affirmations do some research. Drown your thoughts in what you want them to be. Even when they answer you back you affirm what you want your thought to be again. It is literally a battle. When you feel tired then say an affirmation to battle your tiredness. Remind yourself that this is a disorder no matter how real it seems. I found that my obsessing is coming from some things in my past so thats where I am targeting my affirmations. If you are willing to dig deep enough you may be able to find the source of your obsessing. And if you do don't waddle in it. Just use the information to help you know what area you need to focus on. It maybe failure control forgiveness etc. YOU CAN DO IT!I KNOW YOU CAN. I also registered to Pastor Gregory Dickow's 40 days of fasting from wrong thinking. It's free. They send you an email everyday for the next 40 days. These are some great affirmations to do along with your lessons. The website is www.fromtheinsideout.us. I also used the relaxation CD. It is helping though I feel weird because I am used to trying not to focus for fear of "crazy thoughts" But I see the purpose. You are practicing on focusing your thoughts and hey if you slip and start thinking crazy just refocus. I know it sounds corny, but practice practice practice

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jun 10, 2010 4:44 am

Thanks press toward the mark!!! Your post really makes sense. I feel that these thoughts all come from FEAR. I know I've always been indecisive but never to the point that it would scare me (full of doubt). Ever since these thoughts of hurting my family came in, they just made me feel like I had NO control over my MIND. As silly as it sounds, that's the way I felt. I know raising a family is hard enough, but having these thoughts just would bring me down. Somehow, I just kept pushing forward. I just notice that my anxiety keeps manifesting in new ways. It's always in SCARING myself. For example, I could be having a real good time, then suddenly, my mind would think "OK, your by yourself, your going to get a scary thought" and I would just TENSE UP and it would ruin my mood.

Then the feeling would just consume me. I noticed this happens when I've noticed my mind is at ease for awhile, then I realize that, then the thoughts start popping in. Especially when I'm alone!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jun 15, 2010 9:57 am

I understand what your saying Justgettingby. That's part of the problem with being negative. I do the same thing. If I have had a good couple of days, I ruin it by saying to myself, "Wow I'm feeling good, how long is going to last? What if I start getting anxious again about . . ." and I'm right back in the vicious cycle. It's like we can't let ourselves enjoy the present moment. We always have to be catastophically looking into the future. I have faith that there is an end to this, but we have to really work at changing our bad habits. We'll be ok.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 03, 2010 6:08 pm

yes this can be the scariest thing ever...this ocd stuff..its like when i get threw with one obsession...my brain finds somthin els to scare me half to death....this is sad. cuz you r never able to b yourself.....this is so sad...and my daughter started telling me that she wanted to b an actress....so i started thinking that everyone in the hole world is acting so nothin that people say or do r real that they r acting...scared the hell right out of me...so i no the pain that you all r goin threw...!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:27 am

Once you conquer one obsession, boom, another one pops in. It's like you are use to obsessing, and when you conquer one obsession, you feel out of place with yourself because you are no longer obsessing, so now your brain needs something worse to obsess about, and that's when it happens. You create a totally new, bizarre obsession and now you are back to square one. This is what happens with me anyway.

I have made a lot of progress with not reacting to my obsessions, and have neutralized most of them. It's when the new, more intense obsessions come where I struggle. However I am finding it easier to deal with these new obsessions now that I have conquered some of my other ones. For me, it's almost like the more practice I get not reacting to obsessions, the easier it gets when a new one comes. Almost like the more experience you have, the easier it will be to deal with a new obsession.

At first I didn't know how I was going to beat this, but with a lot of determination and education about pure ocd, I decided it was time to give it a go. I have been doing well over the last month, and especially over the last week. It really is possible to beat this guys. Just remember, they are just thoughts, and it ends there. They are meaningless words, and that's it. The content of the thoughts is pretty irrelevant, it's all just ocd bizarre garbage.