Need your opinions and reassurance

Maudejolie · Post by **Maudejolie** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:40 am

Hi,
I am a survivor of a 5years abusive relationship.I'm 24 years old and have been out of this nightmare for about 10months now. I was doing well up until last november where it all of a sudden hit me. I started having overwhelming anxiety, irrational fears of hurting myself, other people even my dog or my bf. I got to the point where the anxiety was so strong that i could not eat anything or get any sleep. I also seem to have a hormonal imbalance. My period seem to be very slow to start...spotting for days and days...and then i go from doing a lil better to come crashing down with disableing anxiety and depression even suicidal thoughts. I have finally seen a psychiatrist who told me this could be post-traumatic desorder. But why do i feel like im on a rollercoaster and everytime i get close to my period i get so low and feel like no matter how hard i try its going to be like this every month....WHat should i do? I got my TSH tested and it came back "normal" is there any other homonal tests i should do? or should i just assume that this is all psychological? Also..is irrational fears and thoughts of hurting other people normal in a post traumatic desorder case? Iv read alot about those and it seems more in the line of OCD. Is there anyone here going through a similar situation and what has been helpful to you as far as medication, therapy ect...I am basicly right now to the point where everyday is a mysery. I JUST try to make it through the next day....I cant work because im scared of being around people..and i am normally a very sociable person. Iv become a totally diffrent person since it all started. I constantly have a feeling of being about to "loose my mind" which is what makes me fear that i could hurt someone. The mere sight of a knife or sharp object will trigger an anxiety attack. I do not have any knifes in my house for that reason, my bf keeps all my pills away from me..because i dont trust myself anymore.
Am i hopeless? Is it possible to recover from all of this? It seems to me like i will never get better
Plz send me your help and support, i could really use it right now.
Thank you

jamie smith · Post by **jamie smith** » Tue Mar 03, 2009 1:07 pm

You are not hopeless!! I've been dealing with ocd for a long time. Zoloft helped me quite a bit. Your monthly mood swings almost sounds like PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric dysfunction) PLEASE talk to your OB/GYN about this. There are things you can do to control this. There are people out there just like you and me. Recovery is possible. We are strong and will conquer this battle. I'm here for you!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:39 pm

You are far from hopeless, my friend. I am 22 and I had the obsessions of hurting people..and what makes someone snap? and I used to try and figure it all out. The thing that I have learned is that the thing(s) we fear doing the most...are the very things that we value the most. For example, you may be scared of hurting your boyfriend or dog...ect...because of your anxiety of being hurt again. I used to be scared of of everything and anything sharp because I would have the thought "what if I want to kill myself..or hurt my mom". Like you, i was extremely socialable until this happend. I locked my self in my room for a while. Now, it's been two years...and reading your blog, i believe with all my heart you CAN BEAT THIS!!