Let's call this saga "Me & My Mattress" (my dad suggests I write a book called that).
I am now on my FOURTH mattress, not including the inflatable one I'm still sleeping on.
I keep attracting bad, uneven, sinking mattresses. I am obsessed with their symmetry - and the more I worry I'll get a bad one - the more I attract it.
Yeah, need to use the Law of Attraction - but doesn't quite work in your favor when you suffer from OCD and anxiety!!
I was in disbelief when I got my current mattress and saw that it sunk in the middle - I could have sent it back, but I was in such denial that this could still be happening to me that I signed for it! Now I'm allowed only 1 exchange - no refunds - and I am TERRIFIED I will choose another bad one!
If it weren't the mattress - I'd have something else hanging over my head to obsess and worry about. A few months ago it was about calling hospital bills to get them reduced. That's mostly resolved - so naturally there had to be something else for me.
I am going to therapy tonight. I don't know what to do with myself anymore.
I am terrified to go in the mattress store - scared I will wait too long and lose my exchange chance - and scared I will go when I'm in fear and thus attract another bad mattress.
My mind is in chains over a $1,000 mattress!
obsessing about purchases
-
Guest
-
Guest
OCD,
You are definitely not the only one. I too suffer from a little something I like to call "buyers remorse" / "buyers obsession" I am a very obsessive person. I can't say I've experienced this with mattresses, but just about everything else. Computers, little splurges, and even PETS, yes, pets. I become incredibly obsessive with wanting things and it gets taken to extreme levels. What I've learned lately is that I do this to distract myself from taking care of real things. I put a lot of time and effort into things that are merely distractions. I've done it for years. I become obsessed with every little detail of what I want to purchase and I worry about getting it and not liking it. Hate to say it, but people create their own drama like this because it's easier to get obsessed over things that in the long run, really do not matter. It's a whole lot easier than taking care of a real problem.
When I moved out on my own last year, I became obsessed with credit cards. How many could I get, what would the limits be, what would I buy with them. How many could I get approved for, etc. Now I am stuck with a whole lot of debt, but you know what it did for me? It provided a lovely dramatic distraction, so I wouldn't have to focus on growing up and being responsible for myself. We are a lot 'smarter' than we give ourselves credit for. If we can be so conniving with ourselves, it means we can turn it around and focus on what matters. I always was told, "You are such a passionate, smart person, but you just focus on the wrong things." And it's true. I know I am passionate and smart, but I use those great assets I have to bring myself down. As my life coach said to me, "Kari it's a whole lot easier failing than it is succeeding." And that's true. If you are failing, you have this great excuse for being miserable. If you are succeeding, well, it means being responsible and taking care of real issues. Issues that don't include being obsessive about mattresses or credit cards.
You are definitely not the only one. I too suffer from a little something I like to call "buyers remorse" / "buyers obsession" I am a very obsessive person. I can't say I've experienced this with mattresses, but just about everything else. Computers, little splurges, and even PETS, yes, pets. I become incredibly obsessive with wanting things and it gets taken to extreme levels. What I've learned lately is that I do this to distract myself from taking care of real things. I put a lot of time and effort into things that are merely distractions. I've done it for years. I become obsessed with every little detail of what I want to purchase and I worry about getting it and not liking it. Hate to say it, but people create their own drama like this because it's easier to get obsessed over things that in the long run, really do not matter. It's a whole lot easier than taking care of a real problem.
When I moved out on my own last year, I became obsessed with credit cards. How many could I get, what would the limits be, what would I buy with them. How many could I get approved for, etc. Now I am stuck with a whole lot of debt, but you know what it did for me? It provided a lovely dramatic distraction, so I wouldn't have to focus on growing up and being responsible for myself. We are a lot 'smarter' than we give ourselves credit for. If we can be so conniving with ourselves, it means we can turn it around and focus on what matters. I always was told, "You are such a passionate, smart person, but you just focus on the wrong things." And it's true. I know I am passionate and smart, but I use those great assets I have to bring myself down. As my life coach said to me, "Kari it's a whole lot easier failing than it is succeeding." And that's true. If you are failing, you have this great excuse for being miserable. If you are succeeding, well, it means being responsible and taking care of real issues. Issues that don't include being obsessive about mattresses or credit cards.
-
Guest
Hi OCDEditor.
I use to go to the stores and purchase things that I needed. THen I would start obsessing about how I don't really need this, or how something was wrong with it (which now, I see that there was nothing wrong with any of them).
I found myself taking EVEYTHING that I bought back to the store. It was exhausting!
I realized that I had a problem with being a perfectionist and I subconsciously felt that I didn't deserve nice things. I had to realize that in life NOTHING is going to be perfect, and that I am a wondeful person, deserving of good things.
I think you are a perfectionist, and that you (Like I had to), must realize that NOTHING IN LIFE IS PERFECT. And no matter how many mattresses you get, they won't be perfect. Just try and buy a mattress and sleep on it, they way it was intended.
Get your journals out and write. Change your thoughts about that mattress. It may take a few times to convince yourself of what you say to yourself, but it will work.
I use to go to the stores and purchase things that I needed. THen I would start obsessing about how I don't really need this, or how something was wrong with it (which now, I see that there was nothing wrong with any of them).
I found myself taking EVEYTHING that I bought back to the store. It was exhausting!
I realized that I had a problem with being a perfectionist and I subconsciously felt that I didn't deserve nice things. I had to realize that in life NOTHING is going to be perfect, and that I am a wondeful person, deserving of good things.
I think you are a perfectionist, and that you (Like I had to), must realize that NOTHING IN LIFE IS PERFECT. And no matter how many mattresses you get, they won't be perfect. Just try and buy a mattress and sleep on it, they way it was intended.
Get your journals out and write. Change your thoughts about that mattress. It may take a few times to convince yourself of what you say to yourself, but it will work.
I have OCD regarding purchases and the like too. Mine is a little different in that it revolves around the cost of the item, specifically how little it costs. It comes from living with my grandparents who began every sentence with "During the depression..." and they would remind me how they didn't have money, food, toys, tv, etc...I am driven to distraction with the need to get the best deal, to the point of inertia, because of the overwhelming feeling I will never find the best price. Consequently, I am usually the last person I know to get new gadgets and cool stuff. My grandparents are still alive, and I find myself lying about how much I bought an item for when they ask (and they always ask). About the bed, I don't have OCD about it, but I am sick of the indent in my temperpedic mattress and am wondering if a water bed might solve the problem. Does anyone have any info about water beds? Thanks.
-
Guest
HI Tweaky.
You "rang a bell" with me when you talked about getting the best deal. I had that too. I use to go from store to store to find the best price. I would also go long distances to stores with sales on what I needed, and sometimes, when I got there, they would be out of that item. It use to make me soooo mad.
I use to have a waterbed. It made me feel worse after a while, because it was too soft for my back. I also didn't like feeling like I was always moving. It probably bothered me more because being lightheaded was my main symptom. If you're not lightheaded, you may like it.
You "rang a bell" with me when you talked about getting the best deal. I had that too. I use to go from store to store to find the best price. I would also go long distances to stores with sales on what I needed, and sometimes, when I got there, they would be out of that item. It use to make me soooo mad.
I use to have a waterbed. It made me feel worse after a while, because it was too soft for my back. I also didn't like feeling like I was always moving. It probably bothered me more because being lightheaded was my main symptom. If you're not lightheaded, you may like it.
-
Guest
I never considered my self to be obsessive or compulsive, but reading this thread just opened my eyes tremendously. I obsess about making the wrong decision whether it's in what I purchase or how much money I spend. My parents grew up in the Great Depression... we didn't have a lot either and I totally obsess over my spending.
I obsess over spending on small ticket items and then get overwhelmed with life and buy big-ticket items I don't really need. It's driving me mad!
Thanks for sharing your posts because it helps me to see I've got some faulting thinking in this area and really am excited about getting to work on changing these thoughts so I don't obsess so much.
I obsess over spending on small ticket items and then get overwhelmed with life and buy big-ticket items I don't really need. It's driving me mad!
Thanks for sharing your posts because it helps me to see I've got some faulting thinking in this area and really am excited about getting to work on changing these thoughts so I don't obsess so much.
-
Guest
I guess I'm not the only one either! I have trouble spending money on myself. I'll buy some clothes and then take them all back because I don't feel like I deserve them. I've recently lost about 40 pounds and I've been wearing the same jeans and tshirts because everytime I go and buy new clothes I return them. Part of the problem is I have charged them so I feel guilty about that and the other part is that I think I don't need new clothes.
When I was in my 20s I racked up an enormous amount of credit card debt, and finally paid it off last year. But I managed to accrue a bit last summer as a result of "retail therapy". I realize now that it was an act of self sabotage, but in the meantime I am obsessing about paying it off because I'll be going back to school in January and won't be able to work full time if at all. And around and around I go.
When I was in my 20s I racked up an enormous amount of credit card debt, and finally paid it off last year. But I managed to accrue a bit last summer as a result of "retail therapy". I realize now that it was an act of self sabotage, but in the meantime I am obsessing about paying it off because I'll be going back to school in January and won't be able to work full time if at all. And around and around I go.