seems like my ocd is different

baseballman · Post by **baseballman** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 12:43 pm

Im new to the site my parents bought me the cds, i have suffered from worry and obsession for as long as i can remember. I was diagnosed with ocd last year, when i finally went to a counselor, i have always had the thought that my ocd is different because most of the things i obsess about are things from my past that im not proud of, and seem to blow out of porportion even though the thoughts seem so real when i am worrying about them. my obsessions all seem to be with what if something i did, could or did hurt someone, i just have not heard of anyone having similar obsessions in the storys on here ive read, I just see the people who worry about the hand washing or having terrible thoughts. I know those things must be hard to deal with 2 It just seems like i would feel better if i knew i wasnt the only one with these certain thoughts, thanks for reading, I hope we all get better

beepster · Post by **beepster** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 1:26 pm

Hi,

That is a normal part of OCD. To worry about the past, worry about hurting someone. I have those thoughts, plus in the past I have been a double checker. Don't worry you are not alone. You will get through this.

bna · Post by **bna** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 2:03 pm

Hello baseballman and welcome to the program. I wanted to respond to your post about the particular thoughts you have about the past etc.
I can definitely relate. I am an obess. thinker.

I have worried and obessed over the past-things I have done or not done, what if thoughts of hurting others etc. I think there are many on this site who have had all the same thoiught and fears in one way or another. Its all OCD.

You will learn through the program how to step out of the obess. thinking. It will take time but it is possible.

Wishing you much success on your recovery. take care and God bless.

baseballman · Post by **baseballman** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 2:13 pm

thanks that meens alot, I work construction and moving dirt to build pads and parking lots and there was a time where we messed up and over cut a pad so we shoved dirt to build it back up,and we didnt do it quite to code and even though i told my supervisor, all i can think is what if this what if that, what if we pushed more dirt in then i told him, its a never ending road, of what ifs i guess my obsession is what the building fall and people die

bna · Post by **bna** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 6:07 am

Baseballman we have to learn we are not responsible for the worls nor does the world revolve around us. You identified a probalem and told the supervisor about the dirt pile. You did your part. Acknowledge the good there.

I can identify with the track of your negative thinking. I worry about things like that also. My therapist has told me and I have definitely come to realize this from the program, that I am a controlling. I feel responsible for everyhing. Its like you throw a rock into the water and it ripples. I sometimes feel like I am the rock and I have caused all the ripples and all the events after.

With the skills you learn in the program, we can begin to recognize the personality traits that set us up for anxiety.

Just take your time doing the program. My biggest advice is to learn to recognize the samllest of accomplishments because it will begin to help you overcome the negative thoughts.

Take care and God Bless.

Boon · Post by **Boon** » Thu Jan 08, 2009 8:19 am

Baseballman - It's important for you to understand that the "content of your thoughts" is not the problem. In other words, it doesn't matter what you obsess about, the treatment is the same. This should bring you much relief. You are in the right place.

This program will also open doors to other good books and programs related to your healing. Keep yourself open to that. There's lots of help out there and there certainly is good support here.

Resistance to what we obsess about is our only problem. You will learn to work with that.

Welcome aboard.