Obsessive Thoughts WON'T STOP

cole2458 · Post by **cole2458** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 3:50 am

I am agoraphobic, and have recently realized that a big part of why I don't leave the house is because my obsessive thoughts are constantly talking me out of it. It's been especially worse lately because of holiday and end of the school semester stress. I feel all of a sudden that I have never had any therapy or ever learned any coping skills-when I start obsessing and then panicking it feels like nothing I do will make it stop. I haven't been able to focus on anything because my thoughts are running around in my head. I have a loop: I feel ugly because___. I'm ugly I shouldn't go out because then people will see my ugliness. I feel sick because____. I shouldn't go out because I'll get sick and people will see me. I feel scared because___. I shouldn't go out because I will get scared, have a panic attack and people will see.
I want to crawl back under the covers where no one can find me! HELP! How can I make the thoughts stop?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:11 am

Hi Cole,

first you are not alone.. I dont necessarily stay home but I carry those obsessions with me everywhere I go (and going anywhere is painful).. miserable!

second, from my understanding there is no secret answer or cure that will come along, it is practise- 1- be aware of these thoughts and reactions, 2- gain tools to deal with them 3- test yourself..

I think the program is meant for people like you and I who have these unbelievably debilitating thoughts that consume us.. it is a matter of patience as frustrating as it is! I hope you are working with the program (im only on week 2 after procrastinating)I am sure I may do the program 4 or 5 times and I hope things get easier for you..

Best wishes, take care & goodluck!

jillzmind · Post by **jillzmind** » Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:17 am

Hi Cole,
I was always an obsessive thinker, it drives me crazy.... I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night obsessing, what ifs, etc...Last night I woke up obsessing over something that happened 2 weeks ago. Since starting the program my obsessing has improved tremendously. I use the tools given in the program...IT REALLY HELPS. I reason with my thoughts and I tell myself things like, is it worth getting all upset over something so small, or even big?...most of them are small.... am I going to feel any better obsessing over thoughts? Is it worth loosing sleep and getting anxious over the thoughts? If it happens during the day I immediately distract myself when the thoughts come into my head. Distracting yourself really helps...sometimes I listen to a tape when I start to think negative. I know it is hard to stop...... we have control over our thoughts...our thoughts should not have control over us....it's how we choose to deal with them Sometimes I will count back from 100 -1 to help the thoughts, especially at night...it helps to put me to sleep. Listen to your tapes over and over....I hope I was of some help to you. Have a great day...
Gene Jr.

Originally posted by cole2458:
I am agoraphobic, and have recently realized that a big part of why I don't leave the house is because my obsessive thoughts are constantly talking me out of it. It's been especially worse lately because of holiday and end of the school semester stress. I feel all of a sudden that I have never had any therapy or ever learned any coping skills-when I start obsessing and then panicking it feels like nothing I do will make it stop. I haven't been able to focus on anything because my thoughts are running around in my head. I have a loop: I feel ugly because___. I'm ugly I shouldn't go out because then people will see my ugliness. I feel sick because____. I shouldn't go out because I'll get sick and people will see me. I feel scared because___. I shouldn't go out because I will get scared, have a panic attack and people will see.
I want to crawl back under the covers where no one can find me! HELP! How can I make the thoughts stop?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 7:36 am

Thanks for the advice

I've been trying to keep myself calm by listening to the tapes and exercising all the nervous energy away and it's helped a little. But little bits add up to a lot right? Thanks again.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 7:54 am

Cole, Stop trying to make them stop. Your resistance is your only problem.

Start practicing watching your thoughts without emotions. This takes practice and does not happen over night. Be the watcher of the thinker (Eckhart Tolle). When you find yourself emotionally involved with thoughts take your attention to your breath and focus on that. (Don't judge yourself - ever. This takes time, as I said.) In time you will beable to watch your thoughts without emotion and they will cease to exist or will flow in and out easily without your attachment to them any longer. Get to a place where you don't care one way or the other if you have these thoughts. Use your stop sign. Tell it to shut the hell up. Use your calm breath immediately. Then get busy in the present moment focusing on what you are doing.

There are all kinds of tools to use to break this bad habit. Follow the instructions on the tape and in your workbook.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Dec 18, 2007 8:41 am

Boon is right. You have to realize that eventaully they will go away. Even if you had no skills from this program and totally believed in these thoughts, they will still eventually go away. However if you use the skills from this program, they will go away faster.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 1:44 pm

hello i am new to the program can anyone tell me how to post a comment? thanks so much.