HOCD/ Gay worriers

Trin · Post by **Trin** » Mon Jul 28, 2008 3:40 pm

how does your HOCD manifest itself?

in what ways does it do it?

mine manifests itself by me seeing a guy and haveing this feeling like i think he's looks good like i find him cute or something, but it fills me with anxiety

it comes in a split second and its scary because it makes me feel like i actually do find him cute in a way, for maybe a split second but then it makes me horribly anxious.

im getting anxious just typing this.

miamikittycat · Post by **miamikittycat** » Mon Jul 28, 2008 4:47 pm

Hi Trin..What's HOCD? Is it like OCD? I see that you put it with gay worriers. Does that mean that you're gay but you sometimes feel attracted to men, and it freaks you out. Just wondering. It sounds like you're going through some confusion, but I think you did a good thing speaking out, I mean it only helps to talk about what you feel to others. Because gay or straight, everybody has feelings, right?

Spencer709 · Post by **Spencer709** » Tue Jul 29, 2008 1:27 am

Dude, you are not gay. The fact that this worries you is proof alone. Read this website, it can explain it better than me.

<A HREF="http://www.brainphysics.com/yourenotgay.php" TARGET=_blank>http://www.brainphysics.com/yourenotgay.php</A>

Trin · Post by **Trin** » Tue Jul 29, 2008 5:25 pm

Miamikittycat,

HOCD stands for Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

its where you constantly worry you might be gay

and i try talking about my feelings as much as possible

miamikittycat · Post by **miamikittycat** » Wed Jul 30, 2008 11:07 am

Hey Trin, I think it's brave to talk about your feelings. I also kind of believe in Freud's theory..may upset some, but it's ONLY my opinion. and you know what they say about opinions! Anyway, his theory was everyone is somewhere along the line of hetero/homo sexual. Nobody is 100% one way or another. You may not want to have sex with the person but you may feel attraction. I happen to want to have sex with men but I'm attracted to looking at both men and women because women are so beautiful too! Also I'm attracted to women's personalities, but I don't want to jump into bed with them. Same for some men. But I want to have sex w/my bf! I don't think we should feel strange or guilty about being attracted to another human being because I think it's a whole lot better than hate! Whatever sex they are.

~*schnauzermom*~ · Post by **~*schnauzermom*~** » Wed Jul 30, 2008 11:45 am

I really do not think anyone that thinks some one is cute or looks good is instantly gay/lesbian.

We can admire positive attributes of the same sex. One of my friends is a GORGEOUS bombshell (and YES I tell her!), but yet there is no interest in having a relationship in the aspect of sharing my life with her on an intimate level or in any sexual way. She is what she is...GORGEOUS. She can't help that.

My husband can also appreciate a good looking dude as well. He admires a persons strong arms or tone legs because he too exercises and can appreciate a good body. There is NOTHING sexual or him wanting to explore an intimate relationship with men.

I find NOTHING wrong with admiring a cute person, gorgeous person, pretty person, a well dressed person...it is like admiring a person for their morals, values, personality or admiring a well decorated room, a luxury import, or whatever else appeals to you. Just because I like those things about others does not mean I want to be like them and would change myself or go out and buy things. But if you see a person across the room that has a great hairstyle, awesome outfit, cool shoes, basically looking good to you, what's wrong with acknowledging they're good looking? That does not instantly mean you are "HOT" for them and want to bed them.

Over the weekend we went to Woodfield Mall. There were LOTS of gorgeous guys...AND gals all dolled up, cute outfits, hair & makeup...just so put together like a marketing add for a designer. Did I want to take one of those cute girls home? HECK no! Not my thing. But I cannot deny the girls looked good or even cute, it was the STYLE (clothes. hair, makeup) they conveyed that looked that way. I bet none look better than I do in the morning though :p .

Trin · Post by **Trin** » Fri Aug 08, 2008 4:32 am

I know what you all mean when you say you its alright to think of some one as nice looking, and i kow thats alright too. But with me, the thoughts i have are constant and intrusive and dont go away. for a while i was seriously worried i could be gay and the idea of being aroused by a guy made me anxious as hell. before all of this started i was purely attracted to girls and not once did a thought of "Oh he nice looking" pop into my head. it would be alright if deep down i had thought that way about guys all my life but what bothers me seemed to come on as a trickle at first, and then it slowly grew in strength until it took over my mind until all i thought about all day was how i was gay and how id be the only person in existence to go from being perfectly normal, happy and straight, to being gay and suicidal and furious at the whole world.

i try to tell myself that being gay isnt so bad, and it isnt. i have gay friends and family and i love and care for them, but i have tired to force myself tyo like being gay and it makes me feel horrible.

i dont hate gays, really i dont, but i just really dont want to be gay because i love the idea of just being straight like i was before all this started.

GI822 · Post by **GI822** » Fri Aug 08, 2008 12:06 pm

Trin,

It's obvious that you are not gay. It's tough for you to believe that because you keep having this thoughts and they won't go away. That is how obsessing thinking works and sometimes it contains unrealistic or strange situations. That is perhaps how your anxiety manifests itself. For example, I have agoraphobia. There is no danger traveling far away from home, I'm not going to die or have a break down, but that thought is in my mind and it is constant everytime I want to go out. I never had this issue before, my whole life I was "normal" but now I have this to deal with. Just like you, you were living a life, having relationships and thoughts of women and now you have these thoughts pop in your head about men. You will have to keep working through it and work on your anxiety and your thoughts of being gay should soon taper off. You can get back to your oldself again, just keep working at it.

LiJe · Post by **LiJe** » Sat Aug 09, 2008 8:13 pm

Trin

You're not alone as HOCD is part of obsessive compulsive.

I have the same obsession. Mine started several years ago.

I've had OCD (pure obsessions) for a long time. My OCD has switched obsessions over the years.

I hate the gay one too. It scares me and I keep worrying about it. I think everyone probably has the same type of thoughts on this topic, but unfortunately OCD will continue to torture you with this, until it takes over and begins to manifest. That's what OCD is.

I continue to struggle with this - and unfortunately have done a lot of avoidance which isn't good.

Have you spoken to a therapist about OCD? I'm not sure how to get rid of this obsession as I've had it for awhile too.

I'm guessing it's relatively common in the OCD community.

Dustin B · Post by **Dustin B** » Sun Aug 10, 2008 4:28 am

I myself have had slight problems with this very thing it seems in the past. Though it is not at all to the extent you seem to experience, I can still comprehend how it may be for you.

I know for a fact I am straight, but for simple and often silly reasons I worried that I would be the opposite. I believe it is a mix of obsessing and over thinking on the subject and worrying what others may think (with some people at least).

Gay or not, there is nothing wrong with it either way. From my point of view it seems to me that you aren't the thing you are afraid of, which is most often how it always is with us "worriers".