I know this sounds crazy
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Guest
And I meant to add after my long novel I just wrote up there that I had shared with GE and some others before that in looking at some of the Pure O information on obsessive thoughts like this, it said that people who have these types of thoughts are actually LESS LIKELY than the general population to hurt themselves or others. That comforts me when I start freaking out.
TollyMom:
Thank you for your post. It didn't help that I caught myself watching a show today on the minds of a serial killer. I had to turn it off. I started taking 100 mg of Zoloft about a little over a month ago. 50 mg didn't do much for me. Like you, I was on Zoloft about three years ago and stopped taking it because I thought I felt better and about almost a year later the thoughts came back. Before I got back on the Zoloft, my mind was racing constantly and the thoughts were like a broken record. You do question, I know I have, whether or not you will act on your thoughts, which is what scares me. I hate having this illness. I have talked to some people (people that I have known a long time, including my family) about my thoughts and they have had some of the same thoughts, but don't get bothered by them. Does anyone sometimes feel like their feelings are just flat? Is that depression, or am I turning into an awful person?
Thank you for your post. It didn't help that I caught myself watching a show today on the minds of a serial killer. I had to turn it off. I started taking 100 mg of Zoloft about a little over a month ago. 50 mg didn't do much for me. Like you, I was on Zoloft about three years ago and stopped taking it because I thought I felt better and about almost a year later the thoughts came back. Before I got back on the Zoloft, my mind was racing constantly and the thoughts were like a broken record. You do question, I know I have, whether or not you will act on your thoughts, which is what scares me. I hate having this illness. I have talked to some people (people that I have known a long time, including my family) about my thoughts and they have had some of the same thoughts, but don't get bothered by them. Does anyone sometimes feel like their feelings are just flat? Is that depression, or am I turning into an awful person?
All for His praise, glory and the joy it gives Him.
Hugs, In His Love >:D<
Gman9259
"He who dwells in the secret place of the most
high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty"
Hugs, In His Love >:D<
Gman9259
"He who dwells in the secret place of the most
high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty"
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Guest
I think the flat feelings result a little from being tired of dealing with the anxiety and overthinking. I went to the doc today and he upped me to 75 of Zoloft and of course my first thought is "what if I'm one of those weirdos who go psycho as a result of the medicine" - now of course, the fact that i have been on it already for five months this time and have been on it off and on in years past with no incident doesn't factor in. I just focus on the random weird thought. I started the program before and did'nt finish it, but i'm going through it again now and it is comforting to hear the group sessions where people are talking about having the exact same thoughts and feelings. My therapist says this kind of thinking is a habit that needs to be replaced with a better habit, so I'm working on that. He also said to take up yoga - that it really helps and so I'm going to do that too. Did you have an increase in anxiety after starting zoloft or upping your dose? That's the worse part for me. I hope this increase doesn't make me worse again.
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Guest
When I increased my Zoloft, I didn't get panic attacks before like I used to. I would be at work and have to go to my car to calm myself down. I did, however, start to get panicky yesterday. I was at a memorial service with a bunch of people in a room and I had to stand by the door because I was scared I would pass out. My main problem with the Zoloft is that I tend to want to drink more alcohol. I don't know if that makes sense. However, I have always been a big drinker, so now I am working on that. I wouldn't worry about upping your dosage. That was my biggest fear. When I asked my dr. about people becoming violent on antidepressants he said "well people that use shampoo also committ crimes". Didn't help me much when he said. You have to remember that sometimes they put people on SSRI's when they are bipolar, which makes them manic. If you did fine before on Zoloft, you will do fine again. That was one thing I asked the dr that if it worked before would it work again and he said yes. ALthought, I read on there that people take it for a second time and don't have the same effects, but it is probably because they were on the maximum dose. I managed my meds myself. The dr wanted to put me on 50 and up to 100 but I put myself on 25 for a couple of weeks then 50 now 100.
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Guest
How long have you been on it total this time? I have been on it four separate times in the past for a couple of years each time and got to "normal" so I know it works for me. I just hate the dose changes because I anticipate anxiety. Imagine that! Now I can tell yo uthat yesterday you were probably panicky due to being at the memorial service - since that in itself is distressing. I have the same issues with wanting to drink more on zoloft. When I took it after my son was born it was like I wanted to drink with my husband all the time. I finally had to say "hold up!" But I'm just like you in that regard. I think the problem with zoloft working a third and fourth time is that you know its going to kick in and the waiting for it to work becomes like the longest wait ever. But I am doing much much better than I was before I got back on it, so I know it will just take a little more time to reach "normalcy". Thanks so much for talking with me about this. It helps to share!!
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Guest
It usually takes a couple of months to get the full effect. In my case, I was on 50 for almost 5 months this time, fighting having to go up, and it hasn't been enough. You have to be on the right dose for a couple of months. So... of course today - here i am having a good day and I'm watching tv and some commercial comes on for toothpaste with brooke shields and she had on red or something and I thought "what if she turned into a gargoyle or devil" and then I pictured it and then I thought "what if I become possessed or something??" Now I feel stupid even writing that. I know it sounds totally ridiculous... so instead of freaking out and obsessing over "why did I think that?" i took my son outside to play and tried to just let it go. It's going to take some time, I guess. It just bothered me because that was a new kind of thought. I don't like having the ones that I have and now I'm adding new ones...
Hi. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist last week, and I'm telling him all about this great program,etc. Then I tell him about the thoughts I realized I was having, and long story short...I have OCD as well as the Agoraphibia, extreme anxiety and panic attacks. Yikes...talk bout your 2 steps back. Sent me reeling a little as I NEVER thought I had OCD as well. Just made me all the more resolved to kick this thing right out of my life! Just had to get that off my chest...this seemed like the best place to do it. Rock on everyone,
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Guest
Alicia,
Hi. I have been in the program for 11 weeks now. I have had panic/anxiety for as long as I can remember and I wasted a good part of my life on obsessive thinking. I would spend hours conjuring up things in my mind. Like killing myself (driving off the road) killing someone else in my car, stabbing my husband, cutting off my childrens fingers, hands. I love my husband and children so much I would never hurt anyone but I sure hurt myself by thinking these thoughts. I also was on Zoloft for the last 2 years due to severe panic attacks. I am now off the Zoloft and am doing fine. I no longer have panic attacks well lets just say if I start having one I know how to calm myself now. I think being on medication is fine until you feel you are truly ready to come off of them. Also as far as being absessive I would check to be sure I had my keys 5 or 6 times even though I knew I did, I would need to have people tell me things several times even though I heard them the first time. I'm sure it drove everyone crazy. Stick with it. One more thing that has helped me immensely. Use the relaxation tape everyday at least 2 times and especially right before bed. It has helped me so much.
From someone who cares.
Deb
Hi. I have been in the program for 11 weeks now. I have had panic/anxiety for as long as I can remember and I wasted a good part of my life on obsessive thinking. I would spend hours conjuring up things in my mind. Like killing myself (driving off the road) killing someone else in my car, stabbing my husband, cutting off my childrens fingers, hands. I love my husband and children so much I would never hurt anyone but I sure hurt myself by thinking these thoughts. I also was on Zoloft for the last 2 years due to severe panic attacks. I am now off the Zoloft and am doing fine. I no longer have panic attacks well lets just say if I start having one I know how to calm myself now. I think being on medication is fine until you feel you are truly ready to come off of them. Also as far as being absessive I would check to be sure I had my keys 5 or 6 times even though I knew I did, I would need to have people tell me things several times even though I heard them the first time. I'm sure it drove everyone crazy. Stick with it. One more thing that has helped me immensely. Use the relaxation tape everyday at least 2 times and especially right before bed. It has helped me so much.
From someone who cares.
Deb