"But stop digging for "the why" you have these thoughts. You have them because you have a creative, phobic mind and it thinks of everything and anything. You aren't the first man who has commented on if another man is cute or not. Another woman sees a beautiful woman and she doesn't think she is a lesbian. But you must prove this to your brain."
i have never truly thought i guy was cute
what happens is i see a guy and my brain triggers the anxiety by saying that. its like the anxiety wants me to think of him as cute just to mess with me.
i have never thought of guys as "cute". if i did i would have always found guys cute and it wouldnt have started when i was 15 and made me feel horrible
i think my brain trying to tell me a guy is cute is the anxiety trying to trigger itself
HOCD/ Gay worriers
Trin man, I have the same exact thoughts as you. It all started when I was with my friends(like you) and my friends knew this gay guy. Im 18 btw. But this guy was a little older, and i just thought he needed some friends, turns out he was gay, and he like tried hitting on me(but i guess in the end he was joking) but this triggered the worst anxiety that night of my life. It was the scariest thing ever. Now I'll be at work and after staring at cute girls all day, Ill see a guy and ill be like , do i think hes cute? is he good looking> am i attracted to him? which I have hooked up and liked girls all my life. So deep down I have no desire to have any kind of relationship with a gay man. No desire what so ever. The thoughts actually repulse me. Anyway, and Ill ask myself all thses questions. And itll trigger my anxiety and I cannot handle my anxiety sometimes, feels like i just wanna give up. And like when i get it i only want to be with my family , and like when they all go to bed i feel all lonley, and its just the stupid anixety over being scared if i am gay or not. UGHhhh i hate it. Its gotten better over time, but it still is in my head lurking. My sister has a type of OCD and my mom wants to take her in, I guess i could tell my mom( lol at first shes gonna think im gay) to take me in, also. Or should i, or should i not? But thanks eveyrone for posting the posts really helped me a lot. And TRIN if u need anyone to talk to( see that kinda seemed TOO gay for me and I thought, was that gay?) just let me know man, i feel the same way. and its all over this stupid gay guy who pretened to hit on me and gave me the worst anxiety of my life. ughhhhhhhh suckssssssssssss thx for the posts tho guys , reading actually helped me.......
so i get home from work today, and it turns out, FOR THE SECOND GODDAMN TIME IN MY LIFE, this gay guy at my works thinks im like hot.... wow today i got a little anxiety btu i just thought about what Boon posted, and i was just laughing at this fag. But it really does still give me axiety wtfffffffff is wrong with my life.