Scared of going back to my old ways )-:

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 10:39 am

Thanks for the hugs Charlie Brown! Seadog, Thank you for replying. I appreciate it. It's always nice to discover thins about yourself, isn't it? Those discoveries about yourself are my favorite things to find (-: I am just grateful to have this place and to have all my friends here. I do really hate thinking about my past and WHAT IF I go back or WHAT IF I will never get any better than how I am now. Does it ever get better?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 10:43 am

I just wanted to update that I called my psychiatrist and she wrote me a prescription for Ativan so now I have them. That gives some relief

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 12:18 pm

hello,

first i'm sorry about the loss of your cats and your job.

let me ask you a question,ok. have you ever, lets say. burnt your hand? it hurt did'nt it? you did what you could for the pain, maybe put ice on it, butter, whatever. you accepted that it hurt, knew that it would take a while to heal,so you accepted it. and went on with your life.

you suffered 2 losses. it hurt to lose your cats, it's scary to lose a job, it's fearful to not be able to get your meds. you did'nt expect it, but it happened. you have to feel bad. how can you heal if you don't feel. like the burn, you have a right to feel bad, the pain will go away. and yes, people like us get knocked down harder when stressful events come our way. you have ways to lessen your pain. try telling yourself over and over "THIS IS JUST A THOUGHT, BIG DEAL.when you go to bed at night tell yourself you are going to wake up happy, do the same in the morning. act happy, fake it till you make it.

you're going to be fine because you always are. you've made it out of the scary thoughts before and you will again.

one thing i've noticed about myself. when things happen in my life that are out of my control, like the recent death of my sweet loving daddy, i regress back to all the depression anxiety scary thoughts and i wonder if it's because i had a hard time dealing with his death. i turned away from the grief by allowing the anxiety and ocd back. at least i know how to deal with that, but grief i'm no good at

one thing is for certain in this world---every problem has a solution. in order to get to the solution you have to let go of the fear, and the anger

i feel for you because i just went through the same thing the causes were different but i had your feelings.

you're going to be ok

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 04, 2008 1:21 pm

I feel for you for the losses. The way to some confort is the following: When I lost my job, I did not sweat it. It was like a break that I needed. I began to focus on specific things to accomplish for the next employment. When one attempt fails, I just regroup and begin focusing on plan B. It is more bearable than worrying.

Originally posted by mollymae2:
hello,

first i'm sorry about the loss of your cats and your job.

let me ask you a question,ok. have you ever, lets say. burnt your hand? it hurt did'nt it? you did what you could for the pain, maybe put ice on it, butter, whatever. you accepted that it hurt, knew that it would take a while to heal,so you accepted it. and went on with your life.

you suffered 2 losses. it hurt to lose your cats, it's scary to lose a job, it's fearful to not be able to get your meds. you did'nt expect it, but it happened. you have to feel bad. how can you heal if you don't feel. like the burn, you have a right to feel bad, the pain will go away. and yes, people like us get knocked down harder when stressful events come our way. you have ways to lessen your pain. try telling yourself over and over "THIS IS JUST A THOUGHT, BIG DEAL.when you go to bed at night tell yourself you are going to wake up happy, do the same in the morning. act happy, fake it till you make it.

you're going to be fine because you always are. you've made it out of the scary thoughts before and you will again.

one thing i've noticed about myself. when things happen in my life that are out of my control, like the recent death of my sweet loving daddy, i regress back to all the depression anxiety scary thoughts and i wonder if it's because i had a hard time dealing with his death. i turned away from the grief by allowing the anxiety and ocd back. at least i know how to deal with that, but grief i'm no good at

one thing is for certain in this world---every problem has a solution. in order to get to the solution you have to let go of the fear, and the anger

i feel for you because i just went through the same thing the causes were different but i had your feelings.

you're going to be ok

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 05, 2008 12:49 pm

Mollymae, what you said :

you have to feel bad. how can you heal if you don't feel.

really hit me good! I love it. That made me feel better. THANK YOU so much. Great reply. I do feel whenever something stressful is happening to me my anxiety, depression and scary thoughts all come back. But i would rather just deal with the real issue at hand than anxiety, depression and scary thoughts. I feel like its automatic sometimes and when it comes its hard to shake it off. I CAN shake it off more now than before but lately it has been REAL tough. its been a couples weeks. Also, I didn't lose my job I lost my health insurance but i am losing hours because of the economy right now. It is better to put your mind to find a solution than to worry.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 11:04 am

That is so true Holly. And you know what I've learned? I think sometimes I focus on my own thoughts and anxiet instead of the 'real' problem. It's like I'm distracting myself. I am working on not doing that and just facing the issue at hand. Sure is easier in the long run.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Dec 17, 2008 9:08 am

Holly,
Not everyone is affected by sweets; and complex carbs are good for you. Especially your brown rice, wild rice, potatoes with skin on, pastas, etc. If you are not hypoglycemic these things will not create anxiety in you.

Your anxiety comes from non-acceptance. It comes from you still fearing the symptoms. You need to start welcoming these feelings in. You can start a little at a time, but you must begin to welcome your fearful thoughts and the feelings that those thoughts generate. I know it is a scary thing. See if your therapist will agree to work on this with you. Eventually you will feel comfortable enough to welcome scary feelings and thoughts in by yourself as you need to.

Stop wishing the thoughts away. Say: Hi there. I've been expecting you. You are welcome here. (Sincerely make it OK for you to think and feel. Keep your attention - not on the negative thoughts - but on the welcoming process.) Breathe into those feelings and you can always bring your attention back to your breath.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Dec 17, 2008 3:50 pm

Holly I am very sorry for your losses. I hope you are feeling better.

I read this post with great interest because I am in the obess. thinking pattern as a result of a recent health scare. My biggest concern was what if I ended up as anxiuos and depressed as i was this time last year.

Quess what, it happened as a result of my negative, scary obess. thinking. I am especially obess. about the past and mistakes I have made. I have tried journaling it out. The recurring theme I am seeing is my perfectionistic thinking. That I am never good enough, I never do things good enough or I should have known better or why didn;t I do things better.

Boon I really like your response. I made of copy of it to add to my notes. I am currently repeating the program for the second time. I am on week 4 hopefully I will begin to feel better soon. I know I just need to be aptient because it definitely helped me earlier this year.

Thank you for all the great posts. Take care and God Bless.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Dec 19, 2008 12:48 pm

Thank you Boon. I will welcome these thoughts in but try not to focus on it too much. BNA, Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate very much.