battling with my obsessive thinking

Swan01 · Post by **Swan01** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 12:47 am

Hi Everyone,
In one of the posts above a sermon was mentioned which reminded me of a book I read. It was called In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day. Good book, spiritual, get it and read it!
I mentioned this in another post as well, but Dr. Wayne Dyer has some great books out there as well. The Power of Intention is a great one, and I also just ordered Change Your Thoughts, Change your Life. Just some suggestions if any of you are interested.
I find that I have to remind myself to stay in the present moment, dont stress about the past,or future, what might happen or might not happen, what if this or what if that.... And why do we always what if bad stuff!, What if I win the lottery this week? What if I go to that dinner and HAVE A REALLY GOOD TIME!!! What if I actually allowed myself to have a good time! Its amazing how I could turn it around to be positive at any moment.

I went with my daughter on her Seventh Grade field trip to SeaWorld at the end of the year last year. My first reaction was to not go. But a couple of coworkers of mine also had kids that were going and they kept asking me why I wasnt going. Soooo, I said, Okay, I'll go, but I have to drive my own car. Not riding on the busses, What if I have a panic attack and need to leave???
So, I drove in my own car, got to the SeaWorld exit, and all of a sudden it started to hit me, what if this , what if that.... Finally I said to myself... HEY, what if you go and spend the day at SeaWorld with your daughter and have a REALLY good time??? What about that huh??, So still feeling uneasy, I parked my car, met up with the other chaperones and students, went in and got so caught up in all that was going on, I forgot I was feeling uneasy, had a great day, and made a wonderful memory with my daughter.

Sorry, didnt mean to ramble on, but Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change!

Stay Positive
Stay Present
Banish ALL doubt

Take Care,
Barbara

Holly J · Post by **Holly J** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 4:42 am

What a lovely post Swan! Yes, why is it that we don't "what if" that good stuff? We should!! . . Well, I know why I don't. I am afraid if I think optimistically about a situation and it turns out bad than I was a fool. I didn't prepare myself for that situation by being pessimistic. I guess it's like, If I think the worst and the worst happens well at least I was preparing myself for it and it doesn't surprise me. But if I think the worst and than see that it wasn't as bad as I catastrophized it than I am relieved. But that is not a good way to live life. I just feel I always need my guard up. . and I always think the worst. I wish I didn't do that. I am just afraid of being all positive and than BAM something bad happens and I let my guard down. I guess my anxiety is like a guard to me. Maybe this is why it is so hard letting it go

Faith_TX · Post by **Faith_TX** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 5:02 am

I can relate, Holly. I feel that way at times too. I'm starting to realize though that it's better to let your guard down and have days, weeks, months. . . maybe even years with being free, then get hit "out of the blue" with anxiety, than to keep the anxiety going and ruin every one of those days.

I had let go of this awhile back and it was probably a month of feeling GREAT and then I got hit one night with it, and actually at the time I thought I had a stomach bug. It really ruined my day but I sure did enjoy those few weeks.

Now I need to get back to not thinking about it again. It was nice!

TracyH · Post by **TracyH** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 5:39 am

Hugs to each and every one of you for your awesome posts...it's an honor to be among so many bright, thoughtful and caring people...and to know that all who read these posts can RELATE! What a wonderful comfort...one that I REALLY needed today!
Mary Jane, a heartfelt thank you for your post...I KNOW you are right, we DO have a higher power (God and His son, Jesus Christ are mine)...I don't know why I feel such a need to direct them!! Ha!! They've always know what was right for me...I need to let this anxiety jibberish go!!
Funny side note...prior to getting this program, I 'googled' "what if thinking"...just to see, 'cause my mind kept bringing up, what if this and what if that...the "this & that" always being something awful rather than positive (I'm definately adding this to my thought processes), anyway...google's answer was that this is something that NEGATIVE thinkers do...I was really taken aback...until then, I hadn't really realized that negativity was behind those thoughts! Yep, yet another light bulb moment :p
Thanks again to everyone who participates on these posts...I gain such a sense of comfort and a wealth of knowledge, that's easing the journey for me and many others!
Here's to a terrific day!

goddess sparkle · Post by **goddess sparkle** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 6:20 am

Hey Everyone. I too have a big problem with obsessive thinking. I stopped the program halfway through in 2006 because I was feeling better. Recently though I have been getting anxiety a lot so I have to continue the program. My obsessive thoughts are mostly about getting sick/having an allergic reaction/suffering and "What if I get so depressed I can't go on?" I think about other things too but try not to, then I couldn't get anything done! It doesn't help that I work in a hospital either it just fuels my negative thoughts. I try to remove myself from it emotionally. Every incident I see here I put myself in their place and think of it happening to me.
I can't even try new foods for the fear of Anaphylactic Shock. I always see people and wish I could be normal like them and enjoy life more.
Like you Holly, I think about EVERYTHING I can that's BAD so I can be "prepared." I know it's so silly.
I'm 25 and I had thyroid cancer in 2004. My therapist says I have PTSD. That incident traumatized me so I am so obsessed with my health. And it's true. Any sick feeling or pain I have I freak. Then it snowballs. Like right now I am waiting for repeat lab results. Friday I meet with the doc. 2 months ago I had a scare that the cancer might be back. This might be causing my high anxiety and scary thoughts.
My mother passed away in January and that was very hard for me. I guess I have to deal with it now. She was there for me through my cancer and throughout my anxiety issues and treatment. I know it's natural to grieve but I wish I didn't have to deal with anxiety on top of it.
A lot of good things have happened since doing the program too. I got married in June 2007. My husband is great and takes care of me. We are in the process of looking to buy a house and it can be stressful thinking about the future.
A lot of things can be contributed to my obsessive thoughts. I know something's wrong when they come on and have to try hard to turn them off.
Sorry this was so long but I feel more relaxed. Thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts. Good luck to you all!

LMM · Post by **LMM** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 6:24 am

Holly,
I too think that i am keeping my guard up with teh anxious way i am thinking adn obsessing - so taht i will be "prepared" adn not surprised if i am really sick. My positive side of my brain says that it is the constant anxious thoughts that is keeping my body symptoms around. My negative side says, "you are just getting sicker." So since the doctors and friends and all teh kind people here on the posts think the postive is true, let's just go with the majority vote - and trust, trust is a key thing here. You and I will be fine. Any thoughts?

sgt monette · Post by **sgt monette** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:08 am

Hi I just put myself back on the program. My summer wasso busy, I was hardly ever home.

This past weel I have felt so lousy. Been dizy and lightheaded all the time. Went for a walk this morning,walk evermorning,came home so dizzy and lightheaded had to lie down for a few. Tried listening to relaxation tape couln't relax, I womder if I am woorying about starting the program again and getting through. Work part-time. sometimes I wonder maybe I need to find someting elese to do to keep me busy. Too0 muchtime to think can be bad. HNope all is well with everyone out there.

Faith_TX · Post by **Faith_TX** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:21 am

I've found Facebook and playing Packrat is a nice distraction! LOL

Of course then the guilt of me "supposed to be" working or doing other things and instead goofing off are not so good.

Hang in there, work through it, and don't give in to it. I get dizzy and lightheaded when I'm not breathing right.

Remember to breath from your tummy and if you breath in through your nose, count to 4, then blow out your mouth. The extra oxygen should help.

Kody5387 · Post by **Kody5387** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 7:46 pm

I understand to and looking at alot of these posts helped me realize that I have been keeping my guard up as well lately which has kept me worked up. I just realized I need to let it go and let the thoughts roll through. You will be okay Holly.